To be so pissed off that dd has a bad cold?

[Throughautomaticdoors]

She's 11 months and this is the second really bad one in eight weeks. This one she has caught from her older brother admittedly but don't know where the other one came from.

What annoys me as that firstly we hardly ever go out because of germs and secondly I've been expressing for her now every four hours since she was born so she only has breast milk (and solids too now of course) in the hope it would help her immune system but nope, it's still shit. She's so blocked up today that she can't feed. This is Day 5. You'd think she'd be getting better by now. For reference she was just over 6 weeks premature and ventilated when she was born. So I guess her immune system is bound to be rubbish? She is a big baby now - over the 98th centile for height and weight non-adjusted and off the chart adjusted and has caught up in every other way. In fact she's meeting milestones faster than her non-prem brother.

I'm just annoyed that despite taking all the precautions I can and still feeding she seems to get ill frequently and doesn't get over it very quickly. I know breast milk isn't magic by the way, I was just hoping it might offset some of her prematurity disadvantages in terms of her immune system.

Children need to mix with other people. By being with others they build up their immune system. Maybe a toddler play and stay group would be good if there is one near you.

Hi Op, I too had a premmy baby, and he was a croupy baby too! He had quite a few chest infections in his 1st 18 months. Nothing that we did it didn't do. When I asked the doctor about it, he said that all children that age regardless of when they are born will spend more time in the winter months with a cold/infection than they will without and that reassured me a lot! As others have said cold etc build up the immune system, kinda like the same way chicken pox works. You have to catch them before your immune to them. Hope this helps abit.xx

Babies get colds and bugs even with breast milk you would need to live in some sort of bubble to avoid germs no amount of cleaning or staying indoors will prevent that sorry she is snotty but she will get better your anxiety isn't healthy have you seen anybody about it

I would put her in the pram and push her till her cheeks are Rosie red.
Then go home and snook up wth blankets.

Fresh air, breathing space, and cuddles.

Fresh air is great for clearing snotty little noses!

Yea it is fresh air is good for babies imo. Op you didn't do anything wrong because it is impossible to keep babies 100% healthy colds are going to be caught whatever you do.

I too am really worried about bugs with my daughter. However, i take her to play groups and take her out to build an immunity.. I really cringe when my dd takes the toys in play groups and put it in her mouth, but so far she hasn't been ill and I hope she is toughening up. I am very averse to germs but within reason, I feel I will be doing more harm if I don't expose her to what's out in the world.

It's not nice seeing your child poorly and miserable but please be assured that catching colds and d&v bugs is just a normal part of childhood. No amount of breast feeding is going to prevent your baby ever catching a cold. Bad luck that it's been 2 in 8 weeks admittedly, but it's very normal to have something like 6-8 colds or year. Please don't hide inside from germs - get out bundle up warm and clear out the cobwebs. I hope your baby feels better soon.

Thing is she needs to actually feed from the breast for the illness thing. She passes the illness and your boobs know to make antibodies to pass back to her. Expressing wont be sending the right information. She's still going to get ill.

Get yourselves out, its just a cold and fresh air will make you both feel better.

Children get I'll. Often.

ill dammit.

Hello automatic, I remember you from previous threads and we had our babies at the same time .

Are you still struggling with anxiety, has it got any easier?

No gamerchick that's not exactly true. It passes in other ways too and also from being exposed to the same viruses etc

I hope. Else I've ruined the last 11 months for absolutely fuck all.

Breast feeding does not prevent colds does not matter what signals is sent a baby can still catch a cold

Reading through the rest of the thread, people are right. Its getting Ill that builds up the immune system. Maybe you need a chat with your Dr to relieve any anxieties and get up to date info for her age and any health conditions. You cant stay in all the time you'll drive yourself mad.

I said they still get ill and did not say it prevents colds.

I'll word on my wording.

You said the immunity comes from breastfeeding the action of the bf npt the bm which was a badly though t out reply imo

If your DD has a cold, chances are you'll catch it too or that your body will recognise it and ramp up the antibodies; these should enter your breastmilk more or less as a precautionary measure ('mum's ill, baby might be too') and thus be passed on. Therefore I don't think your DD does necessarily need to be latched on.

Yep as others have said the more germs the better, out on softplay, in mud etc. My youngest (DC3) has been the most exposed to germs (prob cause I am more relaxed about him and he has two older siblings to catch things from) and he has the best immune system of them all.

I don't think you can avoid colds - only by living in a bubble. It's a good thing building up immunity - even if dealing with the cold is a pain.

If you do increase exposure in future to other germ factories ie children - wouldn't it be better to do that in a few months when peak cold and flu season is over - apparently that's after February it dies down? Maybe find a toddler group then - she'd be old anyway and more likely to get something out of it as well.

Theoughautomaticdoors you're being unnecessarily hard on yourself. You haven't done anything wrong, you haven't ruined anything. You've done the very best you can which is all you can do bit unfortunately that's not going to stop DD from getting ill.

I also think you should have a word with your GP but I do know what an incredibly difficult step that it; I need to do it myself but I haven't managed yet.

I bf all mine hoping it would help reduce risk of food allergies and asthma - had child diagnosed with asthma at young age - though it's under control.

They still all got sick at times - just what young children do.

Dd2 now 14 months was at the doctors every other month (or so it seemed) fit the first year, I asked my gp why she was always I'll, he said simply because babies get everything going during the first year and in average the first year of life babies have around 30 colds
Yes yabu to not take her baby groups due to "germs", however each to their own, yanbu for feeling pissed off that she's ill.

MrsJayy

You said the immunity comes from breastfeeding the action of the bf npt the bm which was a badly though t out reply imo*

No I said the boobs make antibodies when it receives the information. Unless you catch the cold then you won't make them by not actually breastfeeding.

But that's here nor there, immune systems need illness and they get plenty of that when they're little.

you poor woman you must be so confused .Don't ever feel guilty when you think you have done wrong part of being a parent is learning.I have anxiety and it is a struggle.

i find it so hard to know were's the line.Am i being to over protective or am i being paranoid this is a daily struggle.You should talk to your health worker they have helpful advise.

Yes allowing your child to get dirty does help a growing immune system.Over cleaning also helps prevent its growth .Don't use anti bacterial sprays at home.Your child will get ill a lot understand this normal for baby's whilst a immune system learning these things happen .Don't feel guilty understand that as a parent we are all learning.

As your child was premature of course your protective you care which shows your a good mum, now as this is a subject i am unfamiliar with i suggest what i did when i come across something i dont understand.

Learn research and ask questions .See if you can find support groups for other parents with premature babys,ask them questions and research on google to see what else you can learn