To be so pissed off that dd has a bad cold?

[Throughautomaticdoors]

She's 11 months and this is the second really bad one in eight weeks. This one she has caught from her older brother admittedly but don't know where the other one came from.

What annoys me as that firstly we hardly ever go out because of germs and secondly I've been expressing for her now every four hours since she was born so she only has breast milk (and solids too now of course) in the hope it would help her immune system but nope, it's still shit. She's so blocked up today that she can't feed. This is Day 5. You'd think she'd be getting better by now. For reference she was just over 6 weeks premature and ventilated when she was born. So I guess her immune system is bound to be rubbish? She is a big baby now - over the 98th centile for height and weight non-adjusted and off the chart adjusted and has caught up in every other way. In fact she's meeting milestones faster than her non-prem brother.

I'm just annoyed that despite taking all the precautions I can and still feeding she seems to get ill frequently and doesn't get over it very quickly. I know breast milk isn't magic by the way, I was just hoping it might offset some of her prematurity disadvantages in terms of her immune system.

Awww op that's your answer! You can't keep them locked indoors, they need to build up their immunity!

2 bad colds on 2 months is pretty standard for babies. Keeping her at w to avoid germs is probably counter productive. She needs to be exposed to some germs as well as get plenty of fresh air.

Have you always been very anxious about germs?

We had 10 week early twins and we're told in no uncertain terms by the doctors to keep them away from crowded and air conditioned placesfor their first winter because of rsv and other nasties that are very bad for preemies. I don't think this is your fault at all as you're taking sensible precautions with a vulnerable baby (size isn't it, it's her lungs, which won be as mature or strong as term children's lungs). Having said that, you can't keep her brother in a bubble so it's probably come from him and is perfectly normal. Just keep an eye on her and call the doctors if you have any worries. As for the posters who are suggesting health anxiety, be kind please, unless you have a preemie you don't know what is normal for them.

Hugs OP, it will pass xx

Her immune system isn't necessarily rubbish just because of the prematurity, especially now that she's a bit older.
DS1 was born at 34 weeks and on CPAP at first, and he didn't get an abnormal amount of colds etc in his first year (although being PFB, he was probably exposed to less germs than a baby with an older sibling). My full term second baby got more colds in his first year than my premature PFB did, probably because DS1 was picking colds up at nursery and sharing them with the rest of us.

Unfortunately we're at the time of year when bad colds often spread easily, and it's very difficult to avoid them, especially with other family members going out and about.

If you're concerned that the early ventilation may have left her more susceptible to colds and other lung infections, it might be worthwhile speaking to your GP about it.

Hope she's feeling better soon.

Kids catch every bug going, you need to build up her immunity and staying indoors will not be helping.

Sorry op clearly things about premies I didn't know.

expose her to stuff and her immune system will get better and better at dealing with viruses

You sound very anxious and isolated OP.

I think your fear of germs and viruses is symptomatic of a bigger problem.

Have you always suffered from anxiety/depression, or is this something more recent?

I'm pretty sure I read something that said babies get around eight colds in their first year, on average. You can't isolate yourself from the world to save your DD from the common cold.

Don't be hard on yourself, you have looked after her as well as possible!

We can't prevent colds, unfortunately, but it is very hard to accept. In the kindest possible way, let go a little bit. I found it hard to realise, let alone accept, that I was not 100% in control of DD's environment(and I am not a 'precious' person in the slightest!)

For many other reasons (not prematurity, though), I had to work so hard to get pregnant, stay pregnant, keep us both healthy etc etc that it became second nature to do and think about things that other people didn't. I didn't realise that we were past that stage until about the age your DD is as well.

Handhold and a 'bloody colds! Hmph!' For you x

You definitely need to get out and about more. I think many babies go through a phase of being low level ill for what seems like ages, I guess it's part of building their immune system.

The reported immunity benefits of breastfeeding are statistical averages - breast milk isn't a vaccine against colds! Stop blaming yourself and try to relax. Kids get colds.

It is normal for children of this age to be near back to back with one cold after another. The immune system gets stronger by building up recognition of infections- that's how vaccines work, by giving a recognisable but inactive form of the viruses. Unfortunately colds mutate very quickly so our systems can't keep up with every variation, hence getting them repeatedly.

Breast milk will help provide antibodies to the infections that you are exposed to. It is worth it, but if you're restricting the exposure of your immune system, that's reducing the range of antibodies. They're not going to be a magic cure all (DS2 defied the antibodies still present from birth and breastmilk when he caught CP at 9 weeks), but they can reduce the impact of an infection.

It's a frustrating phase, but it happens with reasons.

My friend with a 28week prem baby was told for the 1st year to avoid places like play groups and no visitors with colds etc. The OP might just be adhereing to this advice?

You need fresh air. Being inside even if you dettol continously means she herself is coped up touching germs and spreading them and probably reinfecting herself.

Did anyone ever hear or see the experiment they did on tv once on some programme? They sprayed a tiny bit of uv water on a wall. Then that evening switched off lights and switched on a uv light.
It was truly eye opening just how far and where the uv showed up.

They said she has premature lung disease

Agree with pp. what are you going to do when she needs to go to school? Poor kid.

Wow Jink pay attention to the preemies thing and don't just jump to anxiety.... be kind to the OP please!

Dear OP I understand your anxiety as your DC was premature and that must have been hugely anxious experience. But you need to get past this obsession with germs- they are literally everywhere and we need to be exposed to them in and out of the home. We build our immunity this way. I was born in the fifties and so allowed to play outside and get thoroughly dirty, then home to a wash in the sink at the end of the day and a weekly bath which we all SHARED! I have an excellent immune system and do get colds but recover very quickly from them. I have never had a serious infection in my life.

Guess it depends on the particular premature baby and their gestation and health?

DS1 was born at 34 weeks, and when we were discharged, the medics said (after I asked) that there was no need to take any special precautions, and to just take him out and about as you would with any full term baby.

whoa... drip feed... lung disease?
What advice have you been given by doctors about her exposure to other people and how to manage her specific risks?

She can't avoid colds forever, or avoid people. She won't build up any resistance without some exposure. The only immuno-compromised kid we know had an organ transplant as a baby... she follows the same rules as pregnant people. Can't avoid all colds, though.

I remember when DD was a baby and I sat up all night with her when she couldn't feed and couldn't sleep. I remember when at 1yr she had gastric flu and it was dreadful, I was in despair for her. I do understand.

But there is not much you can do to prevent it. Just look after her as best you can, (and yourself!) and she will get better.

Definitely raise all this with your GP, or a premmies support group? You want the right information for DD at this stage. It is true that some parents of prem babies are advised to avoid high risk germ places like baby groups, nursery, etc so you need advice relevant to your needs.
When I said 'let go' a bit, I meant with the self-blame, by the way. Seek advice and apply it as sensibly as possible, knowing that it is a scientific impossibility to control her entire environment (but this is not the same as avoiding obvious high risk)

Were you advised to avoid baby groups op? If so you are doing nothing wrong by avoiding these.

Op are you still under paediatrics? I would ask for a review for reassurance and advice, Given you were told that dd lungs have been affected by her prematurity.

really can understand the fustration of having a baby who is constantly catching colds I have had that postcard but it does get better.

X-posted.

If she has premature lung disease then needing to take extra precautions, such as avoiding baby groups, other crowded places and visitors with colds is understandable.

But unfortunately it's very difficult to avoid colds. They're very contagious, and I think the viruses that cause them can live outside the body on things like handrails for a while, so you don't even have to be in direct contact with a cold sufferer to catch one.

It just means she will be more susceptible to stuff like chest infections and rsv and bronchitis. And croup. Anything breathing related really.
I don't think I can cope with gastroenteritis at all. I fear that more than colds.