Sleep deprivation flip out

[peardropz]

Anyone else had these? My dd has never slept great, slept through for the second time in her life night before last, I knew I shouldn't get excited but when she woke up at 1am last night I just flipped out, swore lots (not proud), couldn't get back to sleep cos I was thinking about how tired I'm gonna be when I go back to work in 2 weeks, how I just don't understand how she can do it one day and not the next, how I felt so good yesterday, so much energy, and today I'm gonna be the same haggard grumpy witch I've been for a year. I was tossing and turning angrily and inexplicably furious at my husband who has had numerous full nights sleep since she was born, swore at him a bit (again not proud).

He was telling me to calm down and I was being ridiculous but aibu to have a meltdown like this every now and again? I just need to get it out of my system. I concede that 1am is not the best time.

OP, I am there with you My DD wakes anything between twice (amazing) and ten times (much less amazing) a night. I have been known to shout at my DH for simply existing during these times it does take you to some dark places.

And some babies don't sleep. If i put my DD down "sleepy but awake" she'll scream her head off for hours as soon as she touches the cot. Even rocking, cuddling, patting, shushing... Nothing works, if she wants to be boobed back to sleep then nothing else will do. It's just the way she is.

We'll get there

My two were/are terrible sleepers, only when I really thought about it, did I realise that I've never actually 'slept through' myself.

Now as I'm an adult, when I wake up at night, I just read mumsnet a book for a bit and eventually drift off again.

That doesn't really help you much, sorry, but it does mean you're not doing anything wrong, some people just don't sleep all night.

Some of these reasons for older ones waking up are making me laugh! sometimes I wish dd could speak so she could tell me what's up but then again maybe I don't
Kids thought processes are amazing. Honestly, sometimes when I am having sleepless nights I look back on old threads on here for funny things kids do/say. Usually easiest to find in classics, and nice and long. It does tend to put me in a better mood..even though I still am not sleeping. I remember the days I wished for DD to start speaking. Now she never shuts up and I sometimes wish the old days were back. Then she comes out with something ridiculous and it all seems so worth it again

Yesterday, about 6am. She decided to dress herself while I was making breakfast. I came into her fully dressed, including gloves, a scarf and a woolly hat but she informed me 'no coat today'. Then she started manically grinning at me with huge bambi eyes...the expression reminded me a bit of dobby the elf, so I gave her a look and she informed me that 'mummy, I am so very happy that my dress has pockets. I love pockets a lot. I love bananas and cats and pockets on my dresses. And I love you' while throwing her arms around me. I was nearly crying at this stage. She noticed this and then informed me that I was 'a naughty mummy, don't cry like a shark eating a fish'

Thank you for this thread. I have felt EXACTLY the same and felt so awful about it. It's good to read other people's experiences and empathy! I can't tell you how much it means to me that I'm not the only one!

All makes sense now I've read your last post cathf. It's not appropriate to detail the thread onto bf/ff but it makes a massive difference to whether babies sleep through early or not. To imply none cared about bf/ff in the 90s is inaccurate and to say this had no impact on your 20-baby sleep experiment (!) is probably a little off - wouldn't you agree?

The fact you've just admitted you'd have formula fed your children from birth just to get yourself a better nights sleep to me says a lot too.

That's true actually, even if someone had told me she'd be sleeping through from 8 weeks if I had ff I still would have bf I think.

Anyway I'm glad others have also found this thread reassuring and it's nice to know flipouts are a fairly normal side effect. Also good to hear from those who found going back to work on little sleep ok, I have to say I am looking forward to listening to some music and reading on the train, and maybe even snoozing! God I haven't read a book in over a year .

Yes peardropz - it is in some ways easier - coffee when you want it etc! Also saw this and thought of you www.facebook.com/thescarymommy/posts/10154424249503301

I sooo feel you OP. DS is 10.5 months, has never slept more than 4 hours and most nights I can set my alarm by him- evry. 2. fucking. hours. I go for weeks being fine with my 5 hours of broken sleep and then it's just 'snap'. I'm either a crying, snotty mess or a raging 1am dragon. Luckily DH has started doing the odd night shift (bottle refusing DS, not a dick head DH!) and I'm trying to stop night boobing (but it's so easy in the short term!) and we're doing a bit of sleep training. I'm going back to work next month and I'll actually be a danger in my job if I go back with my current levels of sleep deprivation.