To hate comments like this

[RaggyDoll1]

Am I being unreasonable

I hate it when people say its ok for you because

DH has a good job (he worked bloody hard for it, son of a postie and worked up to where he is now).

Your kids are so well behaved (erm.. they weren't born like that, its due to good old fashioned discipline, and believe me they are not always well behaved.

You are a SAHM (the grass is always greener on the other side, being at home all day with 3 under 4 plus 2 teenagers is not easy. I would much rather work and can't wait for the younger 3 to start school!

You have no money troubles ( its because Im a saver, it has been drummed into me and my dh by our working class parents. Asda clothes, hardly go to restaurants. Treats for the kids but we have 5 kids so its often something like movie night etc

I feel its really unfair when people just assume its ok for me and don't acknowledge how hard dh and i are working.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I guess my point is that when I compliment other people's kids, I would say "Wow your DS sounds amazing- he played beautifully" or "I loved your DDs painting- I thought it was really beautiful". I do this because I think people are usually good at difficult things because a lot of effort has gone into creating them.

Well, to go off on a tangent - that really is the best way to praise kids. But most people aren't aware of that and certainly mean it as a compliment when they praise talent rather than focusing on hard work.

I'm a bit confused by the SAHM focus- surely if you have 5 children it's by far the cheapest and most cost effective way to look after them and doesn't indicate much at all
About your financial position (expect that maybe you can't earn the salary needed to pay for their childcare so you can work- and at a rough guess that's at least £75k a year)

I'm a bit confused by the SAHM focus- surely if you have 5 children it's by far the cheapest and most cost effective way to look after them and doesn't indicate much at all

Unless you are independently wealthy, the decision to have five children in the first place is enormously risky. Apart from the fact that I don't want five children, I'd be terrifically nervous to make myself unemployable for 20 years.

I wouldn't do it either but plenty do, and not wealthy ones either