Aibu to hope for a thank you for wedding gift

[OfGurls]

Wedding was in September. I left gift with best man, as I assumed that's what I was supposed to do.
Other than a general thanks for all your gifts, in the wedding speeches, should I expect a card or phone call or something specific to me? What's the done thing these days?
Or should I check to see if couple even got it?

I'm with hissy, especially when to be honest I consider the "waiting for a photo for the thank you" an example of narcissism on behalf of B&G, in addition to their rudeness.

In the days of digital photography and very cheap excellent cameras, I still don't get why it takes 3 months to get ONE photo to put on your cards

Crunchy not really. It was a bit shit to be honest. Two weeks at a beachside cottage with not much happening locally. And there's only so much shagging you can do in a day. I was quite happy to sit on the veranda writing letters

WhereTheFuckIsWonderWoman

that sounds so sad - the fact that you found it a bit shit is. Maybe it wasn't your real honeymoon, and you should book a decent one now!

Sometimes life explodes in an unimaginable way and thank you cards aren't a priority.

FWIW my photos took 9 weeks to be done so I didn't send any before that.

It's ok, we're happily divorced now the crap honeymoon must have been a sign

Sorry haven't read the thread yet (i know that's a disgrace!) but i have heard in the distant past that the etiquette advice is that you have a year to write wedding present thank yous. Yes, a year! I know, sounds a little on the long side and i doubt anyone wouldn't find it odd now.
Now going to read the thread....

My photos took five weeks. But do not fear Maui and Sailaway, should I ever get married again and invite you to the wedding, I'll be there scrawling my 'dear x, thank you for the y' cards to you the day after.

Ok, now read the thread, and see that one person had an eleven month delay, so maybe there is one other person in the world who has heard of the 'year' rule!
Very interesting to see the different views - in my case i would think a text for a wedding pres was perhaps not quite enough (though fine for any other kind of present, not sure why i would distinguish in that way though!). But i think mores change so much these days, that people aren't being rude if they do it differently - as one poster said she didn't realise it was expected. In that case it can't be rude not to do it.
I do think people like getting thank yous though, and then at least you know the present's arrived. That is a genuine problem because if you check, people think you're hinting about the absence of a thank you letter!

Off topic but that's what bothers me about taking cash in an envelope to a wedding - so much opportunity for it to be lost, thrown away with wrapping paper, or 'lost'. Without a thank you, how would you ever know it had been received?

thanks LaurieMarlow, but if I am one of your overnight guests, I'd rather you spend time at the lunch/buffet/ whatever post-wedding gathering you have

Some labels fall off presents, especially those with just a tiny sticky square on the back. Some gifts arrive in a gift bag, with a card inside as well, but no label on the gift. The best man or a relative may gather the presents up after the wedding and puts some gifts into gift bags with other things in, and labels/cards/gifts get mixed up or labels come off.

Then it's impossible to know who brought it, and if there are a number of guests who didn't appear to bring a gift, you can't exactly contact all your guests to say "Did you give us a present? What was it?" It's an impossible situation. So after several weeks, it's perfectly in order to just ask whether X arrived.

Ciutadella

The 'you have a year' thing is wrong.

Guests have up to a year to give a present, according to formal etiquette. Some people have misunderstood that to mean that you have a year to send out thank yous as well. That has never been true.

We sent thank yous out within 2 weeks (we were away for a few days the first week, so sent them the second week). Just good manners really.

Sent thank you cards about 3 weeks after. It's good manners. I wouldn't have waited longer.

Thank you, Laurie Marlow but give yourself a day off to recover!

Koala that is fascinating - I never realised you have a year to give the present! But it certainly makes sense that a year is too long to wait to thank for it.

Re a poster said: "you can't exactly contact all your guests to say "Did you give us a present? What was it?" It's an impossible situation" (sorry don't seem to be able to put this in bold) - well,

Apparently there was a phase about 30 yrs ago, when if someone hadn't given a present, the couple would get a friend to phone and say 'couple want to thank you, but aren't sure what you got them' - the aim being to prompt the person to give one. Maybe it still happens...

Current husband and I sent thank you cards the week after our wedding 22 years ago. I ordered blank cards that matched our invitations, with our invitations. As we sat opening our gifts, we wrote a list of who sent what, and I wrote the cards and he addressed the envelopes. We posted them a week later. Sadly this is how we realised that someone had stolen some of our gifts.

I also thank suppliers after events. I tend to do it by our main form of communication in the lead up to the event. Last month firstborn was 21 so we thanked everyone personally at the party and gave each member of venue staff bags of sweets. The Photo booth company made arrangements mainly by text so I sent them a text to say thank you. We returned to the venue to thank the manager / owner. I left a FB comment to thank the lady who made the cake, as that's how we had communicated.

Is that not just good manners?

OP...sounds like we were at the same wedding! Very close relative got married in Sept, still waiting for a thank you card.

If only you had sent a cheque, you could have cancelled it. 😇

We got married in December and sent our cards out in February. I heard my Aunt had complained to my cousin, who pointed out it was ten weeks, we'd had Christmas just three weeks after the wedding, and the cards included a wedding picture. There's still time.

I'm appalled people don't send thank yous, or take ages to send them. These are people who've gone to all the effort of attending your wedding and buying a gift and you can't be bothered to write a few lines in a card?!

We got married six years ago. Bought packs of small thank you cards and sent them all out within two weeks of the wedding (four night honeymoon). If you buy small cards then there is no need to write much. No need for a photo on the card.

sailawaywithme 'narcissism' to send a card with a wedding photo on? Wow. People just seem to love to be nasty about happy couples getting married.

3 months is the acceptable time frame. I think it is unforgivable not to send them at all.

Ciuatella see that was irking me as well about the 11 month delay, I honestly didn't know if the money had gotten lost or anything because I didn't hear a thing from them and didn't want to be 'oi, what you do with my cash?' by asking!

I know Candlestick, it's very mean spirited.