Aibu to hope for a thank you for wedding gift

[OfGurls]

Wedding was in September. I left gift with best man, as I assumed that's what I was supposed to do.
Other than a general thanks for all your gifts, in the wedding speeches, should I expect a card or phone call or something specific to me? What's the done thing these days?
Or should I check to see if couple even got it?

Fuck.

That was probably my wedding.
What did you give us?

Thank you.

Also in my defence the cards weren't anywhere near the gifts.

So I didn't want to ask 'what did you get us'
and I also didn't want to thank Aunt Bloggs for the candles when she gave use champagne.

We got 12 bottles of prosecco.

I've been drunk since september.

We took ages to send out thank you cards but I made each one - seriously regretted deciding to do that!

I always thought Brits were more formal than Americans but I guess not in this respect. I'm American and I've never, ever not received a personal handwritten thank you note for a wedding gift. Some come faster than others but the longest was probably 3-4 months. Most people don't do wedding pictures on their notes, instead you just order nice simple monogrammed stationery when you order your wedding invitations. We still have some of our "wedding stationery" left and use it for various correspondence.

Im in 2 minds about thank you cards.
I said thank you to each and every guest at my wedding for both coming to the wedding and for their gift (even if they didn't actually give one). My DH also thanked each guest personally for attending and their gift. Each and every place marker at the dinner table thanked our guests for attending and their gifts. My parents and ILs also thanked each and every guest for their gifts so I really didn't see the need to send 'thank you' cards after the wedding.

Several weddings I have been to did 'thank yous' in the speeches and the bride and grooms made a point of saying thank yous to their guests through the day repeatedly in some cases. I didn't expect a thank you card and didn't receive one either. That's perfectly fine, how many thank yous do you really need?

However had I ever attended a wedding where no one said thank you in their speeches or in person I would have liked an acknowledgement at least that they realised I had given a gift.

They said thank you. I think it's U to expect a card or letter but I know for some people, it'd be unthinkable to get a gift and not send one... so I understand it.

But it's a silly tradition IMO and I think many feel the same nowadays. Waste of paper, waste of money.

but a generic thank you speach for their gift does not mean that you actually had THEIR SPECIFIC GIFT (unless you actually said thank you for that toaster).

I prefer a card within a month of the wedding, rather than spending 6+ months thinking my friends are rude/ the present went missing/my friends are rude.

Should be sent within three months of the wedding. Which is fair as it takes a long time to write personalised notes to everyone.

I got married 3 weeks ago & am writing my thank you cards now. I think it's important.

Last wedding we went to, a thank you card arrived nearly a year later!

I got married 3 weeks ago & am writing my thank you cards now. I think it's important.

I hope that you are both writing your thank-you cards.

I totally agree with Hissy on page 1

And no, thanking guests during the ceremony isn't 'enough'. Everyone does that. You still need to send a thank you afterwards so that they know you got their gift.

We never sent out thank you cards for our wedding five years ago! and I still feel guilty about it.

I did take a list of what people gave us and thanked people in person or by text the next time I spoke to them. Just plain forgot to do the cards until months had passed and then it felt too late.

I think etiquette and manners are forgotten by many. Many now see the gifts and cash as payment towards the wedding cost.

Funny how many find millions of hours to plan the wedding but can't find an hour to quickly thank guests.

I got married 3 weeks ago & am writing my thank you cards now. I think it's important.

I hope that you are both writing your thank-you cards

Nope. I've bought them, I'm writing them, he's signing them all. He works full time, I work 2 days. I also love doing this stuff, he doesn't. So I want to write them. Just like I made all our invites. It's something I love to do.

I'm amazed that so many people seem to think that taking more than a month to send out thank yous is acceptable. Say you have a fortnight's honeymoon, then a week to sort yourself out when you're back, then what's stopping you? People have made the effort to buy you something and good manners would say that you should give them a specific thank you straight away, not a cut and paste 'thanks for the present' a year or so later. It's just sheer bad manners and laziness

Well I'm still waiting for one from a wedding in March 2015, so don't hold your breath OP

No wedding gift thank you 6 months on. See them all the time and not even a verbal acknowledgement.

I can't imagine not sending out thank yous or at least a phone call or verbal thank you. I do think it's rude. The most recent wedding I went to there was no thank you whatsoever to anyone for gifts. Which I thought was rude as fuck since we all payed for their honeymoon! Even after their honeymoon there was no mention of it.

I'm afraid it seems to be the way now that people don't give thanks for gifts. It makes me sad. I'm 26 and remember sending thank yous for Christmas and birthdays from as far back as I remember. I will ensure ds does then same.

I think the delay can be because usually they are a card with one of the professional pictures from the day (at least mine were) and our pictures took a couple of months to come back (although this probably isn't the norm). Having said that, we went to a wedding last year and never had a card so maybe it isn't always done.

Katy, a months not at all reasonable for a personalised note that includes professional pics from the day. They take a long time to do.

If all you want is a generic card saying 'thanks x for you gift of x' then fine, but I think most people aim higher than that.

A verbal thank you is fine for me if I'm handing over the gift, because I know it's been received.
If it's through a company or a shop list the giver doesn't know if the present's been handed over so a phone call, text or ideally a card is essential. I don't see why that takes months.
A photo of the wedding on the card is very nice but unless it's close family I don't really want it, to be honest.
I usually receive a card or note, but not always, and I don't like to ask if my gift arrived, so I'll never know.

I got married at the end of July and just finished our thank you cards, not quite what I wanted however I wanted to wait to have thank you cards with pictures from the day so initially had to wait for these to come through from photographers, this can take up to 8 weeks, then literally work, life getting in the way, wanting to make them personalised, not just generic thank you does take time unfortunately! Went a wedding three weeks later than ours and still don't have their thank you so don't feel too bad in the long run!

How can people be so rude. Cards should be sent in the month following the wedding, maybe month an a half if you spent 3 weeks on honeymoon. No one cares about a photo of the bride and groom unless they are your grand parents, so fussing for months about the design is ridiculous. Most people will just read your card then bin it.

You don't have to write a novel, just a paragraph or two on each card is more than enough, even with 200 guests it doesn't take that long. If people had made the effort to give you a gift, you really should make the effort of thanking them, especially if they attended the wedding.

Agree that the photo is not important.

Guests have other ways of accessing a photo of you on your wedding day. The probably have an iPhone-full. They don't need a hard copy to stick on their fridge.

Just send the cards out and stop making excuses.