to want to move to a large house?

[velvetspoon]

Long term plan with my bf are that in the next 5-10 years (probably nearer 5) we relocate from the south east to a more rural area which bf has ties to, closer to his family etc. There is a substantial price difference, meaning I could sell my current 5 bed semi and buy a similar sized, detached house and have money over (which I am likely to put towards either buying a small flat here - as we may need to continue working in London intermittently - or use to set 1 or both my DC up in their own homes, DC are currently 15 and 18).

I do look at what's for sale in the area we want to move to, and show the best ones to bf. Inevitably he looks at them and says 'why do we need a 5 bed house?'

He'd be happy with something 3 bed or less. But I want room for my DC (and his) to visit. Indeed it's possible my younger DC may even move with us. I'm conscious that we'll be 200 miles away from them and my friends, and people will want to visit and need to stay. AIBU not to think we should move to a smaller house than I have now?

Where will the youngest live when you move? With her Dad?

Either way I do think YABU. 5 bedrooms is too many unless you want to have a lot of guests all at the same time/

You are being astute and sensible - the best return for your money is in property so from a purely investment t point of view it makes sense to spend the money from the sale of your house on other property. If you buy a 3 bed house presumably there would be money left over - whst does he propose you do with that? With interest rates as they are it's pointless to have it languishing in the bank

Youngest will be 20 if we go in 5 years. He will either come with us, or live with his brother (who will then be 23) or on his own. Certainly I want there to be plenty of room for him to come with us if he wants to.

I've lived in a 5 bed for the last 10 years (most of that time it's just been me and 2 DC) and I've never found we rattle around in it. It's a pain to keep up/ keep clean etc but when we move I'll only be working Pt which will help.

Buy big as you can afford!

You sound like you have your head screwed on. You should buy as big as possible. Sound investment & room for everyone, for me it's a no brainer

I recently moved to a much bigger house and love it. The previous one wasn't that small either but I think it makes a big difference having space, especially if you have a lot of visitors as we do. People are more likely to visit if they know you can put them up easily and that they will be comfortable

From what you say I think 5 bed is too many and I don't think very big houses are necessarily worth that much more than normal large ones (eg 4 bed detached) due to lack of demand and people recognising that they cost more to run and more time to clean etc.

I know someone who put their entire pension provision in a 5 bed barn conversion and it's all fallen apart because they can't sell it for the vastly overinflated price that they want (and need, to make money).

Surely a nice, large 4 bed detached will be more than enough? It's always good to have money left over so you can afford renovations, or to work less, or pay for help, or anything else you might want or need.

I would park it for 4 years to be honest. Then start to decide what to do.

This decision is 5 years away
you really don't need to decide anything now
just keep looking and dreaming

Get a house with a basement flat for self-contained annexe and rent that out while you live in the main bit and don't need all the space.

YANBU to want a 5 bed - but I think YABU to limit yourself. What if you find the perfect property but it only has 4 bedrooms? You won't NEED 5 so don't limit yourself, then you will have more choice.

I would see what circumstances are like in 5yrs as it could all change (jobs etc). I have a 3 bedroom house and find I could do with maybe 4 bedrooms and there is only 3 of us living here

Are you interested in the land aspect. We are looking to move from our town central 5 bed semi into a larger property. But mainly because we want detached next time around and a huge garden to play in. Round here most of the big gardens come with big houses. There are 3 of us now and another on the way. If we were 20 years further along with Children close to moving out we may think differently.

You don't have to agree with your DH at the moment. Agree to disagree and review it in 4 years time.

You never know what's round the corner (with Brexit etc, house prices in London may drop, who knows?) so just review it in 4 years time.

I'd consider 4 at a push. Really I don't went less square footage than I have now, my house isn't massive, but I think it's a nice size for a family home, which is what I'd want in a move. Not to downsize to a smaller home which I think is what bf has in mind.

Part of it is also that I'd like some land - not acres but a bit of space around us rather than just the 70ft x 40ft garden we have now -.I'd like to have chickens, and possibly a few other animals. And bigger houses tend to have that land round them which 2/3 beds probably wouldn't.

It could be less than 5 years, but definitely at least 3 as I won't have paid off my mortgage til then. I suppose I'd just like us to be on the same page.

I don't see why you would move for less space. You have children, they will want to come and stay in uni holidays, then come back with partners, grand children etc maybe.

Oh, but yeah - I woudl defo park the decision for 4 years!

Can see why you'd want to buy a slightly bigger house than just what you'd actually need but to me that would mean 3/4 beds. Having 4 extra bedrooms, with all the extra cleaning, electric, heating, Council tax, etc that involves, on the off chance that all of your dc would come to stay at the same time is a bit excessive.

Your dc could be living miles away and only able to visit a few times a year, and they won't expect their own bedroom, just somewhere they can sleep.

Agree there is no point in worrying about this now, who knows what your dc will be doing/ what house prices will be like/ whether you and dp will even still be together in half a decade

YANBU to consider larger houses (though I agree about not necessarily limiting yourself to 5 bed).

We were originally planning to downsize a bit once youngest moved away.

Now we plan to stay where we are. DM & DPiL had small homes and when we (family of 5) visited we felt like an invasion force. Staying where we are means we will have space for DCs to visit with partners and possibly even their own DCs without everyone feeling like they are on top of each other.

My parents built an extension to accommodate the grandchildren visiting once we'd all left home!

For me it wouldn't be so much about the size of the house/cost of initial purchase, it would be about the ongoing bills. Council tax, hearing, water rates, etc.

That said, my fantasy home in the country comes with an attached holiday let, where I could park visiting family but which I could let out to others in the weeks we didn't need it to offset some of the costs.

I'd get the big house if you can afford it. It's lovely having room to accommodate guests/grown up children/future grandchildren.

If you can afford to buy a 5 bed detached with money left over, why on earth wouldn't you?!