Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be just weary of all the aggression on the roads??

93 replies

JukkaSarasti · 14/11/2016 19:35

Last week I was called a "wanker," a "cunt" and a "stupid fucking bitch". Just bad temper, no accidents or anything remotely close to one.

I drive a small nippy car, I'm genuinely courteous and very watchful. I try to let people out/in and always say thank you. I mean, what is it? I'm so, so tired of the unfettered aggression. Is it me or is it getting worse out there? Confused There was a guy last week who was clearly lost/in the wrong lane, so I just slowed down to let him in and the guy in a van behind me started honking and then accelerated to overtake us both while screaming out of the window! It was in a village, by a school.

What would it be like if pedestrians were like that? We'd all be kicking shit out of each other every five minutes! I mean, I'm no Driving Miss Daisy but jeez people, why all the unbridled fury!? Or maybe I'm just hormonal this evening and taking it all too seriously....Grin

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 14/11/2016 19:42

YANBU. Knobheads are everywhere on the roads.

I got tailgated by a white van and honked at the other day. Turned out to be someone from up my road. Shock Nearly went round to ask what exactly the problem was with me driving 30 in a 30 zone.

I am currently taking DS1 out for driving practice prior to his test. Can't believe a driver behind actually honked at him. Who honks at learners?

Our local FB Spotted page is usually awash with examples of mad driving locals.

Original poster
JukkaSarasti · 14/11/2016 19:55

Yes! Driving at the speed limit seems to send some people over the edge!

There are loads of cameras near us which catch lots of people out but I still get tailgated and then overtaken - only for them to stop in front of me at the next queue where they honk at the next poor bastard in line. It's like 28 days later meets Top Gear.

OP posts:
KathyBeale · 14/11/2016 19:57

YANBU. I got shouted at the other day by a driver who pulled out in front of me at a roundabout and forced me to stop and give way to him even though I was already going round and he wasn't.

I also got shouted at by a paramedic in a car (no sirens and I didn't see he was a paramedic until I drove past) because we were both pulling out of side roads on to the same main road and I went first - because the road was clear in my direction first and he then had to wait for me to go past too.

And what's with people pulling out - blind - into oncoming traffic to get past a bus that's stopped? Forcing all the traffic coming the other way to stop or smash headlong into them.

I also get tailgated all the time. I'm fairly old and have been driving for well over 20 years but it's def worse recently.

CaptainBrickbeard · 14/11/2016 20:00

I was baffled and horrified by a normal looking middle aged man making a furious wanker gesture at my mum whilst he undertook us on a dual carriageway where she was doing the speed limit. I doubt he would dream of behaving like that on the pavement or in any other circumstances. Behind the wheel it seems that people feel they can be horribly aggressive and unpleasant. I get that driving can be stressful and frustrating, but there is no excuse for being like that.

SoleBizzz · 14/11/2016 20:04

I haven't had road rage directed at me for a long time. Two weeks ago a man ran out in front of me. I had to slam brakes on but was doing 20mph in 30mph zone. I lightly pipped my horn at him. Went a but further along the road and hut traffic. He was at my window calling me fat cunt, bitch etc tried to smash my passenger windiw. Spat all over my windiw and said let's see if I can get in. Thankfully my doors were locked. I just sat there looking at him shocked.

I hope he gets beat up.

SmilingButClueless · 14/11/2016 20:06

I think a lot of the tossers like to intimidate people in smaller cars. No idea why. I noticed when I started driving a bigger car the tosser ratio diminished rapidly.

But, yes, I'd also like someone to explain to me what exactly is wrong with travelling at the speed limit.

(The people doing 50 in the middle lane of the motorway I can kind of understand people getting irritated with. Still no need for aggression though.)

Tippexy · 14/11/2016 20:06

When you let people out/in, are you holding up people behind you? That might explain it?

Yellowbird54321 · 14/11/2016 20:08

YANBU - it's frequent and excessive and it contributes a lot to my dislike of driving. IME it's usually the people who are in the wrong who are particularly aggressive too Confused

juls1888 · 14/11/2016 20:09

I said the same thing last week to my husband. I had an elderly man screaming and me and deliberately veering towards my car as he wanted to go from a third lane to a first lane and I happened to be in his way! He then slowed and went screeching along the first lane again screaming and deliberately veering towards my car. I was more perplexed and confused than upset or angry as it was so irrational and excessive, the road wasn't even busy

This is sadly not an unusual occurrence.

Ellieboolou27 · 14/11/2016 20:16

I experienced awful road rage and I've never forgotten it!

Women driving right up my bumper even though I was doing 37 in a 30 zone, when I got to the lights she pulled over and starting screaming at me whilst trying to punch my window in, she had a woman passenger with her who was banging my other window and two pre teenage kids in the back of her car who were laughing, she broke my wing mirror, I tried to get her number plate but was shaking so hard, nobody helped or said a word.
It was the day of the London riots and tensions were high, I was terrified.

I had a bmw 325i at the time so doubt it was anything to do with small car syndrome.

Ellieboolou27 · 14/11/2016 20:18

solebiz it's really bloody scary isn't it! I also had a white van man gob all over my window when I didn't let him out, bloody prat

PumpkinPie2016 · 14/11/2016 20:19

YANBU I got honked/gestured/sworn at the other day for leaving a junction clear in a queue of traffic (there is a yellow box but even if there wasn't it should be left clear).

My dad got honked at and sworn at the other week by someone who we in the wrong lane on a roundabout and just cut my dad up (no indication or anything!). My dad hadn't sworn /shouted/honked or anything!

It really is unbelievable!!

Original poster
JukkaSarasti · 14/11/2016 20:23

Hi Tippexy - not really. I tend to let people in/out if the traffic ahead is already backed up (and so none of us are really going anywhere) and I don't sit there for ages letting everyone out because that is annoying when we're all in a hurry or trying to get somewhere. I'm in London so I am used to being quite quick off the mark and assertive if needed. We've all got places to be and all that.

I think it's just the level and the speed of the aggression that baffles me. People seem to go from normal human being to spitting psychopath in 5 seconds flat.

OP posts:
reallysayingsomething · 14/11/2016 20:24

Utter knobheads everywhere. I have a white van man,driver for a neighbour. He finds indicating difficult and parking his white van is beyond him. His wing mirror was knocked off by another speeding van last month
He was jumping up and down on the pavement like the angry pixie from the magic faraway tree. Alas my sympathy was non existent. He veers his van up to park, heedless of the scores of secondary children walking up and down. Shitbag! I honestly think we need to clamp down hard on many aspects of driving. Really hard
#gettheknobsofftheroad#

Sparklingbrook · 14/11/2016 20:31

I have debated getting a dash cam, but not keen on things cluttering up the dashboard.

There seems to be quite a lot of knobhead parking around here too. Absolutely no thought for other road users, or consideration for pedestrians Sad

dingdongdigeridoo · 14/11/2016 20:32

YANBU. There are a lot of very aggressive people out there. I had to take my P plates off as they were like red flags to a bull.

Going at the speed limit is apparently far too slow for the majority of drivers it seems.

LimitedSedition · 14/11/2016 20:39

What you're doing wrong-

  1. Driving whilst female.
  2. Driving a 'mum' car (people carrier, Corsa etc)
  3. Driving at the speed limit (whilst female)

I find a tinted back window really helps. I had a VW sharan and attracted no end of dickheads, swapped to a Mitsubishi Outlander with a tinted back window and I've had one incident of 'road rage' in a year.

I also had hassle in a VW Touran, BMW 1 and 3 series, but not my Golf GTI.

It's ridiculous, it really is so I bought a dashcam, it's quite small and is really useful.

allegretto · 14/11/2016 20:41

YANBU - I got a torrent of abuse for having the temerity to actually stop for a pedestrian on a zebra crossing the other day.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 14/11/2016 20:47

An old lady gave me the V sign the other day because I dared to pull out as she was coming up the road. I had plenty of space and time, we were miles away from each other, I was impeding no one. I still can't work out why she was so cross. Did make me laugh though. Rude cow.

PatMullins · 14/11/2016 20:53

Being female has a lot to do with it, you're basically seen as easier to intimidate.

It's really shit.

LimitedSedition · 14/11/2016 20:56

Definitely Pat, especially when your trapped in a metal box.

Threecherries · 14/11/2016 20:57

Oh YANBU it's dreadful where I live. I've actually stopped driving on the motorway in rush hour because I witnessed too many near misses at speed due to appalling driving.

Now I take a longer, slower route (rarely get above 30mph) and still witness several near misses every journey but I feel slightly less at risk.

I simply don't care anymore whether people dislike the speed or style of my driving (to the speed limit, assertive where required, but not manically veering from lane to lane, sitting in yellow boxes, or blocking side roads and roundabouts, etc).

I mutter "safety first" over and over to myself if it gets too stressful, it's like a soothing chant Smile

engineersthumb · 14/11/2016 20:58

Lots of bad driving out there as well as lots of road rage. I drive a lot and tend to stick to the speed limits to protect my license. But it is anoying on a dual carriage way when someone sits in the outside lane "at the speed limit" when they could just pull in.
I've also found quite a few hesitant drivers out there too.
All of this pails into insignificance though compared to cyclists who ignore the limited cycle paths we do have - particularly around danger spots and then complain at cars over taking!
Just remembered cyclists riding two or three abreast... agh!!
Still not quite boiled over into road rage.... but would like twin GPMGs mounted fwd!

It's almost as though there should be a test before your let lose on the roads....

Original poster
JukkaSarasti · 14/11/2016 21:05

Wow, it's interesting how many stories there are once you get started.

I was on a roundabout the other day, it's got 4 exits and a cyclist was speeding towards it with little hope of stopping. The woman in front of me went all the way around (clearly signalling) which forced him to screech to a very scary stop as he was just assuming she would be out of his way or pulling off before he got there.

What was interesting was that he didn't shout "Woah"/"Stop"/"Look out" or anything like that as he slammed on. He just shouted "FUUUCKK YOOOOU!" - even though it was his fault for not slowing down as he approached in case he needed to give way, he was barely in control.

His immediate reaction was utter rage.

OP posts:
Eevee77 · 14/11/2016 21:05

There is a lot of aggression, YANBU. Totally unnecessary.

I did fuck up once, trying to cross a dual carriageway. I'd never done it before and I'd sat my car at the midway point where cars crossing from the other side would sit. There way a car waiting to cross and I held a guy up from crossing to the mid way point by about 10 seconds. I waved a sorry as I passed him and saw he bright red in the face, screaming towards me and literally shaking with rage. Obviously I messed up but it's beyond me why people get so mad. I sure bet he wouldn't be foaming like that if I held him up in a queue in a shop so what it is about being in the car that sends people crazy I don't know.

Swipe left for the next trending thread