AIBU to think that parents who have had a child removed for abuse shouldn't be sharing 'I love my daughter' posts on Facebook?

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My brother and his wife look after their niece who was abused by her birth parents. The child has no contact with her parents, and as jobless no-hopers, they don't contribute in any way to her life. She was taken into care after they neglected and harmed her (the dire state of their home was worthy of a Daily Mail photo story), but because the family court operates in secrecy, they have been pedaling lies and messages of 'I'd do anything for my daughter' and 'we're victims of injustice' for years. My brother maintains a dignified silence whilst they slag him off to anyone that will listen.

I feel like posting the truth on their pages so that no-one else falls for their BS, but know that I'd just end up getting blocked - and possibly facing 'contempt of court' charges.

So, Mumsnetters - what would you do?

You're right navy it would be pointless, because it would never, ever be their actual fault, of course...oh no, no, no.

Maybe in years to come the child will find those posts saying they're loved etc and it'll be nice for them to read despite the fact that they had to be removed

Men who beat up their wives/partners don't believe they've done anything wrong either/. In fact they almost certainly believe they love them. So where is the call for understanding for these men on MN?

What about men who beat up their children/abuse them? My DP's dad was just such an abuser, along with his mum, in fact he was the one who maintained contact with the DC after they were removed whereas she skipped off into the sunset and started a new life and new family. Where is the sympathy for those men? Or is it reserved purely for women?

God for a minute here reading your exchange I thought I'd stumbled across the comments in the Daily Fail. Because of course, you both know that these women and are almost ALWAYS accountable for their actions.

Thanks though - you've made me realise that reading judgemental bollocks on MN everday leaves a nasty taste in my mouth so I'm off to deactivate. Am looking forward to never having to read patronising posts again, cheers.

Yeah, because reading a few lines of pixels on a screen will obviously make up for the years of neglect, abuse, fear, stress that they endured at the hands of their parent.

Just writing something Does. Not. Make. It. So.

And I would contest that they 'loved' their child. It isn't 'love* in any way that I recognise or understand.

mycat NetMums is beckoning...and never forget "U is the bezzie Mumma in the world, hun and dont forgit it..."

This page is enlightening

www.familylives.org.uk/advice/your-family/social-services-and-your-family/social-services-and-your-family/

MaQueen Did I say it would make up for it? No I didn't.

A woman who stands by and either watches her partner abuse her children or abuses her children is fully accountable for her actions. Or will you apply this twisted logic to men as well? Baby P's stepfather probably had a crap upbringing, was probably abused as a child, probably didn't realise what he was doing, similarly Daniel Pelka's stepfather, he probably didn't really realise that gaining enjoyment from torturing a child to death wasn't really the right thing to do. Poor loves. But maybe if they write on Facebook that they love their children the siblings will read it years down the track and realise that although their stepparent, with the aid and blessing of the children's mothers who had no other choice but to stand by and watch, and in some instances even participate, murdered their sibling in cold blood, at least they loved them eh? I'm sure they'll feel so much better for knowing that. How dare we judge these men who kill their children, or worse, their partners' children. How dare we suggest that women are so weak that they are powerless to protect their children from being tortured, abused, murdered by the partners they chose to bring into their lives. Women have no control over what they do after all, do they?

As I said, abuse apologists. Why are you not making such apologies for men who beat the shit out of their partners then? Why are men responsible but women are not? Do you really think that little of women that you think they can't possibly be held accountable for their actions?

That fact that they are doing this just shows they are chaotic
As Somone who has fostered and adopted this is not uncommon

get brother to screen shot and report to ss

That's it then block

The lies people tell themselves to get to sleep at night

get brother to screen shot and report to ss

What for?

life No, you said 'it would be nice' for the abused child to read...how on Earth could it be 'nice' for an abused child to read the empty words 'Aww I loves my little one' (and they are empty) written by a parent who had tormented and abused them?

MaQueen now you're changing the perimeters of your argument. You said in your initial comment it wouldn't make up for it. Now you're saying it's not true? Who is anyone to judge whether it's true or not? And for that individual adult it might be nice to know that they were still thought of and loved? There's many reasons children are removed from their biological families. And as messed up and as horrid the abuse they may still be loved. If you need to fight the corner of adopted children I'd seriously speak to people who have been in that position before you make yourself their spokesperson. A child can still be removed from its biological parents and be loved. The two incidents are not exclusive of each other.

A child can still be removed from its biological parents and be loved.

Possibly. But the form of that love can make you shiver to your core, it's so vile and twisted.

SeaEagle I know this. But who are we to comment on how the child would feel knowing that they were still loved and wanted?

Lord but some of you women are stupid busy bodies.

Agree with lifelong13. I'm sure they do love their child but are clearly messed up people.

What can possibly gained by posting your opinions on FB except to make yourself look good?

But who are we to comment on how the child would feel knowing that they were still loved and wanted?

In my case, someone who's wearing the shoes.

Not to say that everyone is the same. But I think most people in that situation get to know as adults that they weren't removed for trivial reasons, and they take that in.

SeaEagle and I think that's the key. It's different for everyone & sometimes it differs as to where they are in their lives.

Also MaQueen having just read my first comment back I said "maybe". I applied that "maybe" it would be nice for that child.

It's complicated stuff, and best to stand back from it.

These people are abusive parents and have been verbally abusive towards your brother? Why haven't you blocked them already? Nobody needs that kind of crap on their feed.

Keep it to yourself OP it's not worth the aggro. My darling DSD now calls me mum because her cunt of a bio mother refuses to have a relationship with her (apparently wanting to live with us is the ultimate betrayal) but the SHIT she puts on her FB is unbelievable. She tells everyone and anyone who will listen that we have turned DSD against her even though I have messages and such like which prove that's bullshit. I've thought about it but these idiots actually entertained her when she posted that I had edited actual Facebook messages to my dsds former deactivated profile. Vile messages that prove she told her daughter that she can't 'have the best of both worlds!' I've never met a person who is capable of doing this, yet the minions who believe we are the epitome of evil seem to think it's possible. Some absolute fuckers just do not deserve to be parents.
I know how frustrating it is but people will defend the horrible bastards no matter what because they will have been brainwashed