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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect my parents to have contacted me after house move

43 replies

golfbuggy · 10/11/2016 13:37

My parents have just moved from a house 30 minutes away to one that is 3.5 hours away.
They moved out of their previous house just over 2 weeks ago, with the plan being that they would move into a hotel for a week (couldn't line up chain) and then move into their new place.

I spoke to them a couple of days before they moved out of their current place. I've heard nothing since. If all went to plan, they would have been in their new house for over a week now. I don't have any contact details for their new house. My parents don't "do" technology so they don't really use mobile phones/email etc. So I literally have no way of contacting them. I'm "assuming" that they don't yet have a landline in their new house, and are waiting to have one sorted before they start getting in touch. We would normally talk on the phone every couple of weeks, so I guess it's not much longer than that since I've heard from them, but that's when they are not making mammoth moves to another part of the country!

I know they are adults and can do what they like, but AIBU to think that not even sending a "we've moved in ok postcard " with their new address is pretty poor?" My sibling has heard nothing either.

OP posts:

mum2Bomg · 10/11/2016 13:40

That's a bit weird. I'd try their old home tel no as they might have had it moved and be wondering why you've not called?

Sparlklesilverglitter · 10/11/2016 13:42

TBH i find it strange they moved and didn't leave there new address.

more than likely they are waiting for a new land line

Do you know the hotel they were staying in? You could call the hotel and explain they might at least say if they checked out

EatTheCake · 10/11/2016 13:44

I find it strange they moved and didn't leave there children with a new address, surely the fact they don't do technology is more a reason to leave the address
Are you just not a very close family?

They could be waiting for a new land line
They could still be in the hotel

Florene · 10/11/2016 13:47

You said they 'don't really' use mobiles or email. Which implies they have both. Try contacting them in this way. They might not use them to contact people, but if they've moved and have no landline they might be checking them for messages.

Original poster

golfbuggy · 10/11/2016 13:53

I've tried mobile - "we cannot connect you" which is the normal state of it tbh as it's never charged. I think that they have an email address but don't actually know what it is (my dad has previously made reference to setting up an email address because companies required it and then not knowing how to access it ). But if they have broadband they will have a landline anyway surely?
Anyway, if they have mobile and/or email up and running even more reason for them to have contacted us surely?

I do know the name of the hotel where they were staying - thanks that's a good idea to try ringing up.
They won't have kept the same phone number as you can only do that if you move within the same exchange (which they haven't).

OP posts:

AmeliaJack · 10/11/2016 13:55

Do you know the estate agent they used? Could you ask them to pass on a message?

HughLauriesStubble · 10/11/2016 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hiphopapotamus4 · 10/11/2016 14:06

They would have known their new address well before completion so I find it a bit odd that you are so concerned about this but never thought to get their address ahead of time.
A bit of forward planning could have prevented your worries.
I can't imagine my parents buying a house and not giving me the details - or at least showing me the properties details so I had an idea of where they are!

As pp have suggested, phone the hotel and estate agent - people did manage to stay in touch before mobile phones and emails!

CwtchesAndCuddles · 10/11/2016 14:14

Write to them at their old address, it's likely they will have set up mail redirection.
It does seem odd!

Lorelei76 · 10/11/2016 14:15

are you on good terms?

I have a friend who doesn't do mobile and very little email. Very frustrating.

Original poster

golfbuggy · 10/11/2016 14:16

I have seen the property details - and looked where their house was on google maps - but I cannot remember the exact address though I have a good idea of where the house is. Can't remember the estate agent.

I should say this is the 4th house that my parents have been on the verge of buying in the last few months, and they've shown me lots of "possibles" too so I've looked at literally dozens of property particulars.

This particular house also looked like it would fall through due to issues elsewhere in the chain (which is why I never asked for the address), but then suddenly everything lined up and they literally exchanged with the completion on my parents' house arranged for just 2 days later. My parents spoke to me just after they exchanged but their heads were full of having to pack in a rush and what they would do with their stuff that couldn't go into storage, so the fact that I didn't know the address simply never occurred to either of us - my mum just said she'd get in touch once they'd moved.

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 10/11/2016 14:18

Why on earth didn't you have their new address before they moved?

I would have wanted it to send a card for them to get as they moved in!

Original poster

golfbuggy · 10/11/2016 14:18

Yes to mail redirection!! Why on earth didn't I think of that ...
(off to compose a "where are you?" letter)

OP posts:

NavyandWhite · 10/11/2016 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MikeUniformMike · 10/11/2016 14:22

I would try to find the hotel number and ask the hotel to ask your parents to call you. Your parents might have lost your telephone number.

MrsHam13 · 10/11/2016 14:25

Apart from their sister is there no one else who would of heard from them or remember the exact address? Friends or siblings of theirs? Surely someone would have it you can get in touch with. Strange. I'd definitely be calling the hotel asap.

MrsHam13 · 10/11/2016 14:26

Your sister I meant.

Original poster

golfbuggy · 10/11/2016 14:30

They are not at the hotel ... but the hotel couldn't/wouldn't tell me if they'd ever been there or when they checked out.

Other than me and my brother (I don't have a sister) there is literally no one they would contact. They keep themselves to themselves. There are 2 or 3 extended family members they would send a card to at Christmas, but that's it.

I'm going to send a card to their old address though as someone else suggested - pretty sure they would have mail redirection set up (hopefully they didn't forget in the rush).

I'm hoping they are just busy getting themselves straight and have no phone too ...

OP posts:

l4urent85 · 10/11/2016 14:35

Your parents are genius! My dad threatens to do this type of thing all the time but wouldn't have much luck 😂

Lorelei76 · 10/11/2016 15:43

oh well, I wouldn't bother with a letter tbh, they'll get in touch with you when they feel like it. but they are hardly in a position to complain if you are ever behind with being in touch.

they might not redirect mail anyway. If they were in a hotel inbetween what happened to the mail then?

GiddyOnZackHunt · 10/11/2016 15:54

The estate agent who handled their sale might know where they were going or be able to point you towards their solicitor who may know where they are. Doubt they will tell you but they might be able to contact them to tell them you're concerned.

Hissy · 10/11/2016 16:43

My mum did this. But on purpose.

Told everyone else about the house etc, just not me.

Took her 10days to contact me.

When I told her how hurt and bewildered I was, about how I couldn't imagine treating my own ds like that, her reply came back "well we were never that close" :(

At one point - before my ex walked out - we'd talk/see each other every day..

I don't talk to her at all now.

Lorelei76 · 10/11/2016 16:47

Hissy - that sucks so badly - I feel for you

PerpendicularVincent · 10/11/2016 16:53

It sounds a really similar situation to the people we bought our house from 2 1/2 weeks ago.

Massive long shot, but if their old house was number 5 and your mum's name starts with C, pm me and I'll put you on to the estate agents.

Original poster

golfbuggy · 10/11/2016 18:54

LOL Perpendicular My mum's name actually does start with C, but their house was not number 5!!

OP posts:

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