to use James on a girl?

[AyGirl]

Am overdue. Baby has not arrived. Do not know gender. Have finally after much indecision, decided a girl will be Iris James. Mentioned to DB who got very upset and kept on saying it's not a girls name. Mother has rang me this morning and said he was so upset because he wants to name a son of his James. Keep in mind he is not married or having a child. I do think they are TTC. But I want to use Iris James!!!!! She said that I shouldn't and should save it for him because it will be his first child and a son. So what, the two beautiful little girls I've delivered into our family are nothing. A boy will probably be Gage Theodore.

My older DDs are Hattie Juniper and Cleo Annika so we use quite different names.

You win as you are having a baby before him and either way you could call the baby James for a boy or girl. However, there are a million names to chose from, why cause an family rift over a middle name?
Of course it's up to you, but I question whether it's worth the upset or not.

(She will be teased at some point in her life if her middle name is James, even if she is in a extremely loving and liberal thinking school!)

Both my Christian names are traditionally used for boys and are also surnames. I am in my 60s and apart from the odd bit of confusion when signing up for courses/going for interviews it hasn't really been a problem. My parents were certain they would have a son and had a slight failure of the imagination! 😁

Free rein on middle names. Friend at school's middle name was Bartholomew. I was very jealous. It was an all girls school , btw.

My DD has a unisex first name which could also be a surname and het married name is also a girls name. She thrives on the confusion. Hope all goes well for you and your lovely new addition to welcome into the world.

All of these people saying "the child won't like it, it's a boys name" are ridiculous, children aren't brought up seeing names as genders, that is something you teach them. You are responsible for that, if they don't like their name it's because you taught them that only some names can be applied to girls. Shameful tbh.

I don't actually mind James as a middle name even for a girl - assuming it has some sort of family significance as a surname here. One of my female friends has the middle name Fox (her mother's maiden name).

But Gage?! Seriously?!

Sorry but I think James for a girl is awful, so many pretty girls names so why pick a boys one?

I do think your mother and brother are being ridiculous though.

Don't understand what's wrong with Gage, I like Gage

I love James for a girl, I really think names are a lot more fluid then a generation ago and lots of names that people wouldn't have thought of using then are fine now.

What's the problem? My brother and cousin, born within 2 weeks of each other, share the same first name (and middle name and surname for that matter). Neither set of parents begrudged the other using the name. It was a nice family name and they both wanted to use it.

What's the problem?

Why can't cousins have the same name? At least in this case they'd probably have different surnames.

Iris James is a lovely name- I think it's really beautiful.

Also, I imagine she'll go by Iris and why couldn't she have a cousin called James- your family is being daft and OTT! Your DB may never have a son, he may never have a child!!!

Iris James is a beautiful name, do it, if he was pregnant with a baby boy already then I wouldn't be he isn't so use it

I think James is a lovely name boy or girl.
I also think it's a middle name, who cares.

I wouldn't save it for someone else on the basis they may one day have a boy and want to use it! He may end up with 5 daughters!

^^^ THIS ^^^

But personally I wouldn't use it for a girl - but we are all different, and it's your baby - if you and DH like it, that's all that matters.

Doesn't stop your brother calling any future child of his anything he likes.

In DP's family all the children have their fathers name as their middle names. Girls too. It's really not that weird a thing.

Only on MN do mums/women think James is ok for a girls name. Pleease. It's ridiculous.

I love the name James for a girl. I would use it, if your brother goes on to have children but only have girls then you have compromised for nothing.

Just for the record - Shirley, commonly thought of as a girl's name, originally started off as a boy's. . .

and Sydney was a unisex name, like Vivian, Hilary, Beverley etc, until it fell out of favour for females (the Mitford Girls' mother was a Sydney) - it seems to be creeping back for girls, though.

children aren't brought up seeing names as genders
They figure it out themselves from school, friends, books etc.
They won't come across a single girl who is called James, but they will come across plenty of boys.
Poor kid.

Sidney is the male version, Sydney the girls

Yes - most unisex names have different spelling for the male and female versions. The only ones I can think of that don't are Beverley and Dorian, though there may be more. In fact, I'm sure there's at least one more but I can't think of it - I think it begins with a "C". Now I'll be awake all night . . .

But aurally, the names sound the same.

Oh - Hilary! ("C"? )

For those saying children at school will realise it's a boys name- it's the middle name! Who at school is going to know or care about it?!
As for others in the family bagsying names- again, it's a middle name- no problem for others to use it as a first name and if it's after a grandfather or father, they will be honoured!

OP: I hope you get to read this. If i ever have another child the child will have the same name regardless of gender. Firnin-Joshua Logan. You name your baby whatever you want to name your baby. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Also, while pregnant with my now 11-year-old, I once met a little girl named Harrison. I knew I was having a boy, the name we had chosen was Harrison. I thought it was really sweet to meet a little girl with that name.

Iris is lovely; James for a girl will be embarrassing for her, imo. Gage - just no! Awful!

Your DB could always call his son James Iris!