to use James on a girl?

[AyGirl]

Am overdue. Baby has not arrived. Do not know gender. Have finally after much indecision, decided a girl will be Iris James. Mentioned to DB who got very upset and kept on saying it's not a girls name. Mother has rang me this morning and said he was so upset because he wants to name a son of his James. Keep in mind he is not married or having a child. I do think they are TTC. But I want to use Iris James!!!!! She said that I shouldn't and should save it for him because it will be his first child and a son. So what, the two beautiful little girls I've delivered into our family are nothing. A boy will probably be Gage Theodore.

My older DDs are Hattie Juniper and Cleo Annika so we use quite different names.

I was in a similar situation years ago. I wanted to call my son a Scottish name. My bil said that regardless of what his next child would be he was calling them that exact name ??!! In a real arsey sort of way ....... cock ! I'd go with iris James it sounds lovely

Iris James, if u like it then go for it!
Its grown on me more as i have scanned through the comments. My kids like the fact that they all have middle names that are family names. 2 are after deceasd members of the family, but they like it. Its a greater sence of belonging! 😊

Honestly, should it matter if it's a "girls" name or a "boys" name. Stop giving names genders. Ridiculous.

Flowercat - you have no idea whether the OP's DD will hate it, regardless of whether she's girly/feminine or not.

People hate / dislike / like / love their own names for any one of a zillion reasons. Any name you pick for your child, there's a risk they may not like it.

It's a middle name, and it's a very un-out-there name.

I don't get it. It's a lovely name for a boy, but awful for a girl.
Why would you do that to your child?
And middle names do matter.

It's a lovely name. If you have a girl then go for it!
Your DB and DM are being ridiculous! He may not have any children or may have only girls and he can still use the name if he wants to anyway.

I get the brother's view. Our first choice of first name was "taken" by my sil as a middle name - 3 months before our son was born hers was. (she didn't know, and we weren't traumatised didn't say anything etc). But we did drop it for a different choice. As middle names (to us) matter too. Mostly because DH and I are named for other family members, so it is nice to have one all to yourself 😁

As for James. Names do change gender, often by first going neutral - Two of my children have such names.

I must be honest and say I think people should stop and think about how their child's name will be received. I'm a teacher and sad though it is other children can be cruel. In addition when it comes to being an adult quirky and unusual names can be a source of embarrassment. Something may well be cute and different on a child but they don't stay a child. The fact is James is a boys name and it will be commented upon. I'm really sorry but I think Gage is awful too. I've seen first hand the upset this can cause.

I love it!

My DD is Rees Marley and I love James for a girl x

I would change it to Jane, purely to save her the annoyance of continually getting letters from banks etc where they have "corrected" the spelling and having to call them to try and correct it. I tried three times with Natwest and have now given up.

I think it's a gorgeous name, I really don't think your child will be traumatised by it as some are suggesting, even if she turns out to be the girliest, delicate of children. I personally think it's a very cool sounding name.
Also think that if there isn't a baby on the way you don't get to ban people from using names, so I'd ignore your db, maybe different if there was one on the way and they'd already chosen it, that would be a different story. As for you DM, I think some Mums will always side with their baby boys and it probably isn't a reflection on your girls at all.
My Mum babies my brother to this day, I'd never get away with some of the things he pulls! Haha!

I called my son James despite his cousin being given it as a middle name the week before!
It made me think of Friends as pp have mentioned. I did suggest it for our little one if it was a girl, but he's a boy and got that name anyway!

Call your child whatever the fuck you like, and everyone else can go and fuck themselves :-)

Not really. Remember that you are naming another person who will spend the next 80 years with it.

at the comment of "stop giving names a gender" I will call my daughter David John and I'm sure she will love it, seriously I worry about these parents who are too out there, James is odd for s girl but for a second name I'm sure she'll get teased less.

What if your brother doesn't end up having any boys? What if, when his hypothetical children do eventually appear, they are all girls. Or what if he doesn't have any children at all?

Then you will have given up a name you love for a boy that never came.

Use the name you want OP. It's no one's business but yours and DH's.

Also James is lovely for a girl and people insisting get its a boys name are being ridiculous

I mean, it's fine, choose what you like, there's nothing wrong with using it for a girl, but currently at least, let's be honest, it is predominantly a male name so how is it that 'people insisting James is a boys name are being ridiculous'? Really? If you asked a hundred people randomly to say whether James was for a boy or a girl I suspect you'd get a lot of 'ridiculous' answers in that case.

Jacob isn't a boys' name either, as my Auntie Jacob will attest. And all those women in Scotland answering to Hamish, and the many female Seamus's.

It may well become unisex but it isn't quite there yet, just going by the evidence of everyday life.

You can't bagsy names; that is ridiculous but not quite as ridiculous as calling a girl James.

Sorry still Irish James to me and will definatly be at high school.

Iris James is a beautiful name and your brother is being a knobhead trying to call dibs on a name for a currently non-existent child. If you like it, use it.

I can't believe some of the bile being spewed by a community of mums who are supposed to offer support and kindness to other mums. By all means give your opinion, but there are ways to say things without being unkind. Naughty step for you all!

It's more try hard than different I think. Did you know your DB wanted to use the name? If not then YANBU but if you did it seems like intentionally rubbing their faces in it.