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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to use James on a girl?

403 replies

AyGirl · 09/11/2016 16:06

Am overdue. Baby has not arrived. Do not know gender. Have finally after much indecision, decided a girl will be Iris James. Mentioned to DB who got very upset and kept on saying it's not a girls name. Mother has rang me this morning and said he was so upset because he wants to name a son of his James. Keep in mind he is not married or having a child. I do think they are TTC. But I want to use Iris James!!!!! She said that I shouldn't and should save it for him because it will be his first child and a son. So what, the two beautiful little girls I've delivered into our family are nothing. A boy will probably be Gage Theodore.

My older DDs are Hattie Juniper and Cleo Annika so we use quite different names.

OP posts:
Cisoff · 10/11/2016 13:00

Elliot!!

Another traditional 'boys' name for a girl.

Dominithecat · 10/11/2016 13:00

My dads sister is called Jamesina which is the Scottish feminine version of the masculine name James. She has always been called Ina though

My grandma was called Thomasina. Guessing it's the female Thomas?
I have a unisex name and although in my teens I hated it, after my teens I loved it. It's getting slightly more common now and people are learning to spell it correctly.

I love James for a girl, first or middle.

AutumnLeavesAgain · 10/11/2016 13:01

John Wayne's real name was Marion.

Cisoff · 10/11/2016 13:03

Me too, Autumn. I'm sure it was spelled 'Adrian' in the movie? I watched it again recently, on a plane. I had to re-watch the ending. He lost the fight! I was sure he'd won.

TheDowagerCuntess · 10/11/2016 13:04

It's fine, your brother is being ridiculously precious. He can still use it as a first name, if he wishes to. Unless you're forbidding him - in which you're being precious.

Many girls and women have masculine middle names, as women's 'maiden' (hate that phrase) names are often used as middle names for boys and girls.

SirChenjin · 10/11/2016 13:05

The majority of the Elliots/Adrians/Glenns/etc quoted have been American though.

AutumnLeavesAgain · 10/11/2016 13:07

I just looked on you tube where clips are labeled with " Adrian" but I would have written it Adrienne if guessing from his pronunciation. Then again I knew of an American "See-sill" - turned out he spelt it Cecil!

AutumnLeavesAgain · 10/11/2016 13:08

Domini I have come across Donalda; probably not due a revival right now!

FarFromBeingGruntled · 10/11/2016 14:39

My DS has his grandfather's name as a middle name. As do THREE of his cousins! There's nothing stopping your brother using James one day is he wants to.

FWIW, I love the name Iris...

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 10/11/2016 16:10

I think it sounds fine but you say this will be your third girl so I can imagine lots of people thinking you were desperate for a boy.

Do you know why your fb wants James. We're not going to find out it's his middle name or something.

Jumpmom1 · 10/11/2016 16:11

Call her Iris James, it's lovely. If he is so set on James then he will still use it.

Slipknotmum · 10/11/2016 16:15

My middle name is Scott... not as in surname, as in boy's name... always hated it, especially at school. Angry

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 10/11/2016 16:18

As for not calling dibs on a name. My eldest is named after my dead brother, if my husbands sister had slipped in first with its use I would have been devastated.

My maiden name was a common boy's name. It was awful (the treatment not the name)

BigGrannyPants · 10/11/2016 16:19

I think your family are being unreasonable, they shouldn't be dictating your children's name for any reason. Obviously the name is up to you and your OH, I can imagine if it is a girl, as she gets older she will drop the 'James' completely and no one besides family will ever know that's her middle name (that's what I would do)

Snowdog37 · 10/11/2016 16:19

I love James for a girl. One of my neighbors little girl is called Amelia James, AJ for short. Suits her perfectly!

Crazeecurlee · 10/11/2016 16:23

I like the name OP. However I know you are not asking if we like the name but if YABU to use it as your brother wants it. No, you are not. He is BVU though. Use it! Good luck :-)

DerelictMyBalls · 10/11/2016 16:23

It's only a middle name. Go for it! I work with posh landed-gentry types and most of the women have boys' names for their middle names (probably their mother's maiden name).

OrangesAreTheOnlyFruit · 10/11/2016 16:23

Its the type of name that could sound brilliant as an author. I realise some of these might be stage names but no one bats an eyelid over these women's names:
Cameron Diaz
Drew Barrymore
Glenn Close
James King
Reese Witherspoon
Taylor Swift

OhNoNotMyBaby · 10/11/2016 16:31

That's all I'm saying Wink

SparklestheUnicorn · 10/11/2016 16:37

I think it's a beautiful name, and my DD has a boys name as her first name. We often have to correct people (hospital receptionists, etc) who assume she's a he, but that wouldn't happen with Iris as a first name.

As for your brother... I would say he is BU...but... My DSis has announced that if her first born is a girl, she is giving her the same first and middle name as my DD 2 middle names. Both are family names so I felt like I couldn't say anything, plus she's my sister and I absolutely adore her so I don't want to upset her when she's been waiting so long for a baby. However, I won't pretend like I wasn't a little bit upset to start with. I feel okay about it now, because I figure my DD still has her own, entirely unique first name, and the names my sister wants to use mean so much to both of us as it's the name of a very treasured late family member. There's nothing to stop your brother still using it as a first name for his son, just make sure you'll feel okay about that if/when it happens.

NeverNic · 10/11/2016 16:42

I love that combination and it has a family connection, so it shouldn't be seen as something youre doing in spite. I'm guessing your husband family would be pleased if you went ahead with that choice? I don't think your brother and your family gets a say at all, and their happiness shouldn't trump yours or your in laws.

For what it's worth my BIL and his wife chose my husband's middle name to give to their son as. Middle name (without saying anything in advance). My husband was a bit put out, but we didn't say anything publicly to them and we still used it for our son when he arrived. The fact that they got there first didn't change our mind about using. The name was important to us. The couple might have been miffed we used it too but it was important for oh that we continued the name too, so we did. Someone else having the middle name in our family didn't rule it out and why should it for your brother if he wants to use it too?

Serenitymummy · 10/11/2016 16:43

I like James as a middle name for a girl, stick with it. I've got two cousins with the same name, and one of them and a third cousin both have kids with the same name. There are no bagsies with hypotheticals!!!

CrushedCan · 10/11/2016 16:59

My middle name is Ross! It's technically a boys name but was also my great grandmothers maiden name so YANBU

DollopofTrollop · 10/11/2016 17:01

My SIL is called Peta .... Often gets asked why???

I have a Cleo too!!!

Flowercat16 · 10/11/2016 17:02

Oh how horrid. Just so mean to your child. What if she is girly girly or even the slightest bit feminine, she will absolutely hate it. Remember she has to live with this name the rest of her life not you.