to use James on a girl?

[AyGirl]

Am overdue. Baby has not arrived. Do not know gender. Have finally after much indecision, decided a girl will be Iris James. Mentioned to DB who got very upset and kept on saying it's not a girls name. Mother has rang me this morning and said he was so upset because he wants to name a son of his James. Keep in mind he is not married or having a child. I do think they are TTC. But I want to use Iris James!!!!! She said that I shouldn't and should save it for him because it will be his first child and a son. So what, the two beautiful little girls I've delivered into our family are nothing. A boy will probably be Gage Theodore.

My older DDs are Hattie Juniper and Cleo Annika so we use quite different names.

Gendering people based on their sex is ridiculous and rude. Go for Iris James!

I read an article recently about the trend for giving girls 'boy's' names. It said that there are many names which started out as male names but then evolved into unisex or female names e.g Evelyn, Kimberley, Hilary but it virtually never happens the other way round.
The author said, in a nutshell, that the reason for this is ultimately that males are seen as being better than females. By giving a girl a 'boy's' name, you are hoping that they will be strong and brave.The reason that people don't name boys Poppy or Daisy or Amelia is because girls are rubbish and they don't want their son to act like a girl. I agreed with what she was saying actually.
And I think it's laughable that so many posters are piling onto the OP for even thinking about giving her DD a boy's (middle) name when this site is so full of people talking about how gender is rubbish and those of either sex can be whoever they want.
Has anybody honestly been traumatised by their middle name? There are only a handful of people who even know mine.

DS1 (17) has the middle name Edward.

My nephew (7) is called Edward.

It's no biggy

I don't think it's 'laughable' at all - I completely agree with what that author said, and it's precisely because I don't believe males are better than females in terms of strength etc nor do I want to be part of the myth that perpetuates, that I wouldn't give my DD a name that is traditionally male. That and because I wouldn't want to copy the 'American actor called their DD that so it must be OK' thing.

Chenjin Actually, you're right. I take it back.

Yy sirchenjin

Gage will be called Gay. That's what kids are like.
The Michael actress was in The Waltons.
Lindsay used to be a boy's name.

OP, YANBU. DB and DM are being ridiculous about this name for a child that doesn't even exist (unless there is a kid on the way and they haven't announced it yet?). Regardless, it's just a middle name! They just sit there on the birth certificate, usually with no point at all. If anything having cousins both with the same name who are close in age should be sweet and a vague bonding thing. And seriously DB, don't pick one of the most popular names of all time if you want to be original.

All that said, I hope it is a girls because Gage isn't good. Yes I think of Pet Semetary (and a bloody good film it is too!) but I also just picture a blonde kid with heaps of hair gel and a pieced ear looking like a mini Bros. You don't want that fate for your child.

I made the same point upthread.

Parents aren't queuing up to call their boys Sophie.

Boys don't want to run like girl or be named like a girl either.

I like it. There are names that (I think) can be used for either sex. James is one of them. So is Cameron, for example. And Adrian. And Francis. I considered calling my daughter Morgan, at one point.

I mean, I wouldn't call a girl Bruce, or a boy Tiffany but some names work well for boys and girls.

John Wayne's name was actually Marion. I bet he loved his mum for that!

God, being that influenced by pop culture is just disgusting

My son is named for a character in a book. Is that also disgusting? Because we love his name, and so does he. More to the point, we love him.

Gage is awful, James for a girl is awful

No, what's awful is the number of people on this thread who think their personal preferences give them licence to be rude and hurtful to OP. This is OP's DD we're talking about, her darling daughter, and I'm sure OP wouldn't be giving her the name if she didn't like it/it didn't sound right to her/it didn't mean something to her. It isn't for us to judge.

Gender to me is irrelevant. We're living in 2016. Why not bust down some walls. If you don't like James for a girl, don't name your own DDs James, but the love of crimeny stop ragging on OP for picking out a perfectly pleasant name for her child. It's James, for goodness' sake. James is a lovely, strong, dependable, Biblical name. It's not like she's calling the wee mite "Tallulah Does The Hula From Hawaii" or "Mhavrych" (Maverick) or "Little Sweetmeat".

Boys don't want to run like girl or be named like a girl either.

Because we live in a world that teaches our boys that to be compared to a girl is the worst possible thing. Not that I'm advocating giving a boy child a "girl's name" simply to make a social experiment of him, but simply saying, the status quo will remain the status quo as long as it remains unchallenged.

The female versions of Adrian and Francis have their own spellings - Adrienne and Frances.

It's not just sexism. When I was thinking of names for my forthcoming DCs I found it easy to find girls names but less so for boys. I wanted to avoid the very common names ("Sam", "Ben", "Josh" - I've probably offended someone, sorry) and tried to come up with more unusual ones. One time I mentioned "Fabian" as a contender. "Oh no", said MIL, "he'll sound like a pansy"!

In the end I had a DD so conflict was avoided.

It's perfectly possible to challenge that thinking without giving another person a gendered named. Interesting that you are not suggesting a 'social experiement' for a boy, but happy for a social experiment to be carried out on a female - I thought gender was irrelevant to you?

Or vice versa. I was opting for brevity. My mistake.

Because we live in a world that teaches our boys that to be compared to a girl is the worst possible thing

No shit Sherlock.

I have a unisex first name and a male first name for a surname. EVERYONE assumes I'm a man.

Every letter I ever receive from someone who does not know me personally is addressed to Mr.

Every appointment I go to where they don't know me I am called out as 'Mr'

It's not 'challenging the status quo' it's just fucking irritating.

Every female Adrian I've met (ok, two) has spelled it like that. Not that it really matters, it's pronounced the same way.

Now I can't stop myself...

Glen (or perhaps Glenn?)
Rowan
Quinn
Jamie
Lesley/Leslie
Michael
Shane

We'll I've only met female Adriennes.

Well, the op is not titled AIBU to use a name my brother wants for a child he is not expecting yet, it is titled AIBU to use James on a girl. She asked for judgment on that, and got it.

Baby names board might have had more neutral results.

My dd also happens to be named for my favourite author as a child; it is a normal woman's name. My middle name is after my dad's favourite book character, and she also shares it. Neither are showy, or cross gendered, the meaning is not the less significant because my dd isn't called Austen or Eliot. The latter had to take a man's name to ensure her books were taken seriously. My first name would sound great on a chick lit author, but I would rather alter the stereotype of an ultra 'girly' or feminine name, and have my dd proud to have one, than take on a masculine one.

Adrienne is the feminine spelling - the ones I've met have spelled it that way.

Australia's most blokey, womanising, beer drinking, high rolling gambler, media magnate was a bloke called....wait for it...

Kerry.

This makes me think of Rocky,

"Adrianne!" Sort of said ade- REE- anne

I would rather alter the stereotype of an ultra 'girly' or feminine name, and have my dd proud to have one, than take on a masculine one

Absolutely this.