WIBU to tell DS he can't drive this journey?

[velvetspoon]

DS is 18, passed his test just over 2 months ago. He is a very too confident driver, although so far he has only driven locally (about a 10 mile radius of our house, though this does include some dual carriageway driving. Mostly though as we are in London, well the outskirts, it's just local, very busy roads).

This weekend he wants to go and see one of his friends who is away at Uni. The uni is about 50 miles from here. He wants to drive himself and 3 friends there in my car (we share it).

I have said no.

I think it's too far, and he is too inexperienced (the drive is mostly motorway, he hasn't driven on a motorway yet). Also the car is tiny, old, and in the 18m since i bought it, it's only been driven over 60 a couple of times (it doesn't like it!) and never for more than 20 miles.

So I have said I'll drive him to the nearest station, where he can get a direct train to the uni town, taking about an hour. Train will cost about £20 (which I've also said I'll contribute towards).

He is very keen to drive, and is now sad-facing me.

Should I stick to my guns?

I would stick to your guns due to the three friends in the car. He will need to be fully focused, aware and concentrating on different junctions, road layouts, faster speeds, finding the right turn off, etc. It would be best to do a long journey or a motorway journey with him yourself first or motorway lessons.

Just tell him, no, the train or not at all this time. You'll regret it forever if he has an accident and you had doubts but felt pressured in to it.

No you would not be unreasonable. The problem here is inexperience and three mates, a potentially fatal combination.

You would have no idea if these mates had a few drinks beforehand, would distract your son, or lark about in the car. Some young guys think it's funny to have their butts hanging out a car window and mooning other passengers, happened over here, with fatal consequences.

Make him get the train until he has more experience.

Interested that you suspect he was relieved. Sometimes teenagers want you to say no sobthey don't look a wuss/party pooper when they are being pressured to do so they aren't sure about. Yes ideally they woukd say themselves 'I'm not up for that' but particularly wrt driving, my ds knows he can say 'my mums really mean she won't let me have the car '

I would definitely have said no in view of the mates as well. Accident statistics show it's a large additional risk factor i believe. Ds got one motorway lesson paid for by me after he'd passed. Made me feel better at any rate!

Is thete a coach by any chance? Often a lot cheaper!

Maybe think about replacing the car if it's as bad as you say.

Mine is very old, but it is powerful enough to go 70mph on the motorway with passengers and luggage. I look after it very well, which is important with any car.

I work all over the country so this car makes long motorway journeys multiple times a month.

It only cost me £350 to buy.