BEST FRIEND TRIED IT WITH BOYFRIEND

[lithium3]

So after giving birth to DS 4 months ago I was out this weekend for the first time. I invited my best friend as she was having a rough time with her DP (she has two little boys with him) to come along with me and my DP to later meet up with a few of my other friends.

After a few beers it was clear that she was quite drunk and we headed to the club. I went to the toilet and came down to DP telling me that she had tried to kiss him. I put it down to just been drunk and falling around and DP misreading the situation (surely my best friend wouldn't do that). However, DP came over again and told me to get her away from him as she kept trying to kiss him.. So I moved her then she did the same to all my male friends including one who had a girlfriend which she met earlier that evening. I felt so embarrassed by her, all of them felt so awkward.

In the end she ended up finding a man that actually kissed her back and she stayed with him the remainder of the night until it was 3am and me and DP wanted to go home yet she refused to come with us so we left her with this man.

We have spoke since but she hasn't mentioned anything about it, she apologised to me and DP for 'being a dick' over text.

DP absolutely adored this girl before all this and loved her two little boys but now he feels so awkward and keeps telling me to speak to her about it as it was so unacceptable for her to do that. I agree with him but I really don't know how to address the situation, in my mind I'm just putting it down to her being so drunk she didn't know what she was doing but then another part of me thinks that she did know.

I don't know what to do, she is my best friend that I turn to for everything. How should I address it? Am I being too laid back? Just need an outsiders opinion..

I would have thought 'she is clearly quite drunk, perhaps we should take her home' would be more appropriate.
You've clearly never tried to get someone home if they're having a good night on the booze and pubbing/clubbing and don't want to go yet.
It just isn't going to happen!!
Or should they be forcibly carried out kicking and screaming?

If she tried to kiss several men, she obviously has deep seated issues .

Or she was drunk and horny

Exactly Waitrose.

Anyone, who does anything anti-social/unlawful/unethical has something going on whether it is GBH, a murder, rape, infidelity, robbery etc. I really don't understand the difference here between this any any of the hundreds of men on here we chant 'LTB' about.

Also, since when has physical strength been so relevant - for all we know, this could have been emotionally difficult or even triggering for him (not suggesting for one second that it was OP).

Well as i said earlier the only possible solution if she was that drunk and wouldnt leave was to ring her partner.Who after all has most likely been cheated on,but lets all whitewash over that.

Maybe, Navy, but I'm not sure. Most of what the OP says is about whether she should be concerned that her friend is genuinely interested in her DP:

'in my mind I'm just putting it down to her being so drunk she didn't know what she was doing but then another part of me thinks that she did know.'

'How should I address it? Am I being too laid back?'

'I think my DP just wants to make sure that it was a drunken thing and clear the air so it's not awkward.'

And she says almost nothing about the risks her friend is running (inc. harm to her own DC and DH), which seems to me to be the salient issue, or indeed about her DH being upset on his own behalf, which maybe or maybe not be an omission depending on whether he is upset about it or not.

I don't agree with your assessment strawberry, I don't have to you know.

I don't agree with your assessment strawberry, I don't have to you know.

Did I say you had to agree with me?
What a bizarre statement.

Seems I have missed another post strawberry

You just seem very heated on this thread and very invested in ensuring that everyone agrees with your stance on it and getting annoyed when they don't

Sorry Nicky but i disagree with you.
Straw has made good points and i fail to see where she has got annoyed. I suppose people can read things differently though

Of course they do

Agree with a PP that the title is click bait and I am not sure I actually believe this thread to be honest but at least lots of people have enjoyed getting their teeth into it.

MrsGwyn - the OP doesn't actually say anywhere that her DH is worried about the sexual harassment aspect of the situation.

Not sure what you are going on about.

From OP DP came over again and told me to get her away from him as she kept trying to kiss him.. but now he feels so awkward and keeps telling me to speak to her about it as it was so unacceptable for her to do that.

OP DP didn't want to put up with the behavior and doesn't want a repeat.

I don't think it matter what aspect of the behavior - sexual element or the disrespect to OP or him or his relationship - the DP is actually most upset about matters. He wants it to stop and he want OP to talk to her friend so it doesn't happen again.

I just don't get how that is unreasonable at all.

IME calling people on shitty behaviour often mean they don't repeat or they show their true colours - putting up with it often means it continues. Op can be concerned as well - it's not mutually exclusive.

You just seem very heated on this thread and very invested in ensuring that everyone agrees with your stance on it and getting annoyed when they don't
You've completely lost me now. Nowhere have I told anyone they have to agree with me.
I've just put forward my view and points. Neither have I got annoyed with anyone.

This thread is so weird - of course a sex reversal isn't possible.

Women are far, far more likely to be spiked or raped, or otherwise come to physical harm as a result of drunkenly being picked up a random in a club. This woman is lucky her other friends stayed and ensured she got home safely.

Yes it's hard to drag someone out of a club if they want to stay, but if a good friend of mine was acting this sloppy and out of character, I wouldn't just abandon her.

Just my opinion in response to you quoting my post that's all.

Also, OP knows her friend is in a long-term relationship and seems upset about it - why casually stand by and watch her car-crash her way into ruining it permanently?

But women being far more likely to come to harm isn't the issue here, is it?
It's spectacularly missing the point that some are saying the man needs to suck it up, put up with sexual harassment...

" why casually stand by and watch her car-crash her way into ruining it permanently?"

Why is Op now responsible for her friend's relationship?

On top of taking her home when she didn't want to go!

Women are far, far more likely to be spiked or raped, or otherwise come to physical harm as a result of drunkenly being picked up a random in a club. This woman is lucky her other friends stayed and ensured she got home safely.

Why are you making this woman the victim.She wasnt raped,drink wasnt spiked.She is the problem.Whether she is a woman who is having trouble at home does not give her the right to go after other peoples partners.

There is absolutley no excuse for the way that woman behaved,none.

I agree with Poppy. Why are people assuming she has mental health/alcohol problems rather than she was just drunk and horny, is having trouble with her dp and decided to go out and get hammered and behave like a single person? And I think the feminists on here might want to consider that they are suggesting that no lady would behave in such an unladylike way as to try it on with multiple men unless they had serious problems. Why not?

I very much doubt the woman in question remembers her antics, hence the vague text message of apology - probably generalised beer fear rather knowing the details.

IMO the woman IS the victim here too (and it's her own fault for drinking so much, but still), I doubt the men she tried it on with are seriously psychologically scarred by the experience, just feel awkward/embarrassed.

If I saw any of my friends, male or female, drunkenly embarrassing themselves as well as ruining their friendships and possibly jeopardising their long-term relationship, I'd try to get them away from the situation. If this was a pattern of behavior then maybe it'd be different but it doesn't sound like this is in character.

I'm not suggesting there's anything wrong other than that she was way, way too drunk and had seriously impaired judgement as a result of this. Have none of you have ever accidentally got too drunk, or seen your friends get too drunk and do something stupid?