To ask for your best 'parent lies' (lighthearted).

[ThatGingerOne]

We all know the ice cream man only rings his tune when there's none left

My SIL tells my nephew that Santa only comes to Auntie's house ie our house. They spend Xmas day with us and as he is the baby of the family (all his cousins are adults) he gets a huge pile of lovely presents, but they are all from Santa, despite the labels saying otherwise.

We can't choose to turn the TV on, we have to wait for it to turn on itself. So no need to ask me, just wait.

The Fashion Police checks our outfits and we have to comply, so when DD wants to wear her pretty white coat to the muddy playground, I ask her to put it on, walk a few steps so the Fashion Police can have a good look, and then if I announce that they said No she will put another one on without complaining.

Whenever Siouxsie and the Banshees come on the radio, I announce "Ooh, DS, that's me and my old band playing! Those were the days eh..." (my name is Suzy). He has convinced several of his little friends of the truth of this.

Step GF invented the Internet. South Wales (where he lives) was the birthplace of the Internet due to all the coal mines there, as that's what early computers ran on .

my oldest (now 15) once asked what robins had to do with Xmas. I told her they work for Santa & they fly down from the North Pole to peek in the windows to make sure boys and girls are behaving then fly back to tell Santa. I've kept it up with the 3 of them & they've all totally believed it (youngest still does). I have signs that they've put up at the window to show them when they're older "Dear Robin please tell Santa I'm good. I only hit my sister by accident". I can scream & shout the rest of the year but as soon as robins appear in our garden a simple "oh here's Mr Robin" works miracles on their behaviour

When the r in toysrus is backwards, it's closed 😂

I'm never eating, I'm playing with my tongue bar.

CBeebies doesn't work on Mummy's telly. - A friend of mine came to stay with us and she asked if she could put CBeebies on for her daughter, so we told my son that we "borrowed" CBeebies from my friend and they took it back with them when they left

My children don't eat curry.

They eat Korma, Tikka, Chicken Saagwala, Lamb Rogon Josh and Morrocan beef with rice and peas. They eat Chinese prawns with noodles and 'sauce', they eat baked rice with aromatic herbs and pork. They eat Lamb with cumin, cinnamon and naan bread.

But they NEVER eat curry, because they don't like curry.

Wombles are real

My friend shows his DD a picture of Daniella Westbrook to stop her picking her nose.

I know I know...

I used to have a cardi that had a sort of toggle button in the shape of a large tooth - you know the ones I mean. Anyway, I told DS that I was attacked by a shark on holiday on time before he was born, had killed the shark and kept his tooth as a souvenier.

Not only did he believe it, he told his baby brother years later about mums shark killing adventure.

Not a child - but my Grandmother.

She came beck from South Africa to live with us in the mid 70s.

My brother and I told her that Cross Roads wasn't on the telly anymore.

This lasted a bit until she found the TV pages in the news paper.

CP

Mum of chuckie that made me snort!

The Wombles are real. I know for a fact. In 1979 we screwed up lots of paper, scattered it everywhere in the classrooms, and then went home. The next morning we knew the Wombles had been as the place was all tidy, spick and span again.

Cudos to the school for playing a full part in the event

On our first meeting with my now step dad we went for a walk in the woods and he had three very hurt, emotional, confused kids aged 10 to 6 genuinely believing and hunting for Wombles... should have known he was one us from that alone!

The iPad is sleeping.

You know how farmers tie carrier bags on stakes to scare birds from their crops? Well, I may have convinced DS that Tesco grew their carrier bags in a field in Norfolk

When dd finally got a big girl bed she finally got a pillow aswell (used to sleep in cot without pillow). She was sucking her thumb at the time so we told her that if she sucks on her thumb while sleeping on the pillow santa wouldn't come that year because she broke the rules.

That on the Isle of Man there are special cats born without tails.

(not believed)

Hospital scans "weren't invented then" when my mum was pregnant with me, and that's why they had a scan video of my little brother, but not one for me.

The truth, I found out years later, is that my parents decided not to find out my gender (being the first baby) but when my mum was pregnant the second time, they wanted to know if they were going to have two girls or one of each!

Felicia should have mentioned the other part of the 'blue tongue' story is that everyone other than the guilty party can see it!

My Mum ( I'm 47) told me if I didn't brush my teeth twice a day, Nanny Green teeth and Sludgy Go ( he was her hideous henchman apparently) would come and take my nice teeth away.

I ALWAYS brush, no matter what !

However, I did tell my children that the Green Jelly babies were poisonous to children, and if they were ever to find any they should bring them to me immediately for safe disposal ( nom nom nom). Son was 9 before he challenged me that 'They wouldn't be allowed to put poisonous sweets in with childrens sweets'. Ahh well. Seven years of exclusive Green jelly baby consumption ( and toothbrushing, of course) is pretty good going...

My 4 year old thinks our Costa has no door & thst's why we always use the drive through & never sit in.

My dad told me and my siblings that a turban is a lunchbox. I believed this until I was 15.

DD aged 6 wants a hamster. I stupidly said that gerbils were better because they did not sleep all day and exercise all night. I had no intention of getting DD a pet. We have one dog and no capacity for anything else. So I told DD that of course she could have a gerbil. Did she know that they were covered in scales with spikes down their backs and that they breathed fire? It's such a problem when gerbils set fire to their bedding. She's totally convinced .
I also persuaded her to eat brussel sprouts for the first time the other day by renaming them elf cabbage. She declared them delicious and had 3.