To be worried?

[RollonBed]

New to mumsnet, just joined purely because its all i can think about. Love reading other threads though.

Ok, so the cap comes into place tomorrow 384 pound a week. Im a single psrent 2ith 4 children. How on earth an i expected to pay rent out of this and live? I will have to pay £104 pound rent a week! Thats 280 to buy food, petrol, gas, electric, water... yes i pay monthly for these but each week i make sure i set aside 50 pound... its said some 300,000 children will be pushed into poverty and people may loose there home over it. Im so worried i cant eat or sleep!! Should i be worried. aibu to think this is such an unecessary thing gor goverment to do?

OP you're a terrible mother for working and you're a terrible mother for not working. You're either benefit scrounging or ignoring your children. Go and sit in on the naughty step for a while and think about what a bad woman you are. I say 'woman' because that's what it always is, it's always the women who get it in the neck. Has anyone mentioned the father of these children? Nope! Those who have attacked you verbally and have not noticed where the blame really lies; with the disgusting, abusive piece of shit who is in prison and therefore, isn't paying for his children or contributing to their lives.

I'm sorry, truly sorry for all you've been through. I hope you have people around you who are loving and kind. I hope you can see that you are a survivor and have shown your children that you can build a happy life after a horrific incident. They are lucky to have you.

OP - I wish you luck. Without wanting to sound trite, I didn't vote for this and it's not being done in my name.

A lot of people are struggling - both in and out of work, but some of the people on this thread having a go at OP and saying "I only earn X" like a badge of honour - seemingly trying to compete to be working the most hours for the tiniest pay are the reason pay doesn't improve.

I wish you well OP, is all, genuinely.

Oh I hate it when I'm right! You can't win, OP. There are those that are never happier than when laying into single parents. I think we scare them. All that determination and ability to do it on our own. How dare we?!

Oh come off it, you can't stick little kids in another room whilst you work. If someone posted asking if that was a viable business plan people would be screaming neglect by post three.

Working AND having adequate childcare in place - brilliant, crack on.

I'm sorry for all that you have been through op and hope that along with the appointments and support you are sorting out for your children, you are getting some support for yourself emotionally too after going through such an ordeal.

As for the finances, you can do this. It just takes a bit of work and any big chance is a shock to the system and makes you panic. Definitely do make a spreadsheet or something similar and look at all your income and outgoings. As pp said, it may surprise you when you look in black and white at where it all goes (it did me!) and that gives you a starting point for where to focus first.

I second the Money Saving Expert site for information and advice, and the frugal and credit crunch boards on here. Especially for things like meal planning, utilities etc. Are your gas and electric on top up metres? They are expensive but I have also found that they let me track well when we use a lot - switching everything off at the mains over night and being strict with the kids about turning things off that are not in use, not switching the heating or electric heaters on when it's not absolutely needed (teen DS walks round in shorts and puts the heating on ) etc have really made a difference to how long each top lasts for us. The little things add up over the month, same with food, using up leftovers etc.

I too am a single parent of 4 DC, it is hard. I work full time and as a pp said often get asked how I can put my children in childcare, they must never get to see me etc - you can't win! Like yourself and most single parents I didn't expect to end up alone with them when I had them - all those with crystal balls that allow them to plan their lives accordingly don't realise how lucky they are, do they

Do keep pushing on with the school place appeals and if you are involved with social services etc get anyone you can on your side to fight your corner with it. That would make a huge difference to all of you.

Good luck with getting things back on track and with your plans to get to work in time - as a tax payer I have no problem with some of my taxes going to support a family who need help getting sorted after a huge trauma. That's what they are there for, there but for the grace of god and all that.

You can do this, you have done the best thing for your family by getting away from your ex, just keep on keeping on you will get to better days.

I think the big problem here is that the OP came on complaining about the government not giving her more money. If she had asked for budgetting tips, or how to get her business going, then the responses would have been very different.

I get that it can be frustrating when people on benefits seem to get more money than those working 40+ hours a week? I really do, but the shitty wages in this country isn't the OPs fault.
We live on less than the OP, it's hard and exhausting at times, but I don't want families like OPs to have more cuts, them getting less won't change our low income, companies being made to pay proper living wages will though, and maybe it would encourage more people to come off benefits as they won't be worse off?

I've read the whole thread and I'm sorry you are getting a hard time. I have a family member who ended up a single mum to six children through no fault of her own, one of the hardest things for her was saying no to things the children asked for, they'd lost so much and she felt awful, but they've learnt material things are just that, having a mum who loves them, cares for them , protects them and keeps them safe is priceless.

It'll take a while to adjust to the drop in income from being a family of two working adults along with coming to terms to what's happened to you, it can be done and you will be ok. Well done on getting away from him and I'm sorry he hurt you

Betty..there not in another room its one big room seperates by an arch way. My customers are mainly parents themselves and when i advertise i be sure to mention children and also mention children are welcome in my home. Fgs. None of the brides whose make up i would spend hours doing minded or the women who would have there mehndi would insist my children come along and would.often be spoilt by eldee relatives along with clients children. Not to mention my ex who was home also alternate days but of corse, When i say i worked from home with kids what u think is stick them.in the corner with a packet of sweets and shut the door.. unfortunately for you and your narrow mindedness this was not the case and my children given the option would.probably be more then happy to do it all again as there life was calm settled routined and enjoyable until now. Just because your preference would be having treatment without small children in the same house it does not mean the rest of society feel this way. I had many c clients having treatments whilst breast feeding there children. Sometimes a family enviroment is more relaxing because people can actually relax.

Working AND having adequate childcare in place - brilliant, crack on

Childcare for 4 children, 2 full time. Cost? And please don't tell me the 'single mums get their childcare paid for' because that's not the case.

Me?

you cannot adequately parent very small children whilst spending hours doing someone's wedding make up. Nor is it a good idea to palm them off on people you don't know

So kind of scum on benefits or...scum on benefits?

Sorry you've had such a hard time on this thread OP, really wish you all the best with rebuilding you & DCs lives.

Two tiny things I thought of:

1. Our PTA accepts second-hand uniform donations & resells for pennies, could you look into whether yours does, or suggest it if not?

2. Our local library lends out (for free) electricity monitor things that can tell you how much you are using at any one time, might help you cut down usage. Green-type groups sometimes lend them too

You didn't need to say it.

IMO it's perfectly normal for beauticians that work from home to have children around. Plenty of my friends are MUA's, hair dressers and beauticians that work from home with their children. My beauticians DD is an adorable 18mo who happily sits doodling or whatever whilst I have my nails done. When I'm getting my hair done she tends to sit next to me whilst I read a book with her or whatever, it's a really nice experience and I prefer it to making small talk with a stranger in a salon. Likewise I have brought my own child if I haven't had childcare.

To each their own, some people prefer the whole salon experience, some like it a little more homely.

Good luck OP, it sounds like you are already making all the right moves so will back on your feet in no time.

I wish you luck OP, and realise you have been through tough times. However, you seem strong and positive and I am sure with budgetting you will be just fine.

Although like many others I can only wish for an income like that. As a foster carer of 2 teenagers , the two of us and 2 adult children with special needs (and not entitled to benefits) our joint household income is far less than that. Obviously coming up to Christmas is a particularly difficult time financially, but we manage the essentials and the ridiculous amount of shoes one foster children goes through.

Organisation of finances is the way to go - a spreadsheet is your dearest friend. Good luck, OP.

Op you've been given a horrible time on here by some people, so sorry to read of all you've been through. It sounds as if you have plenty of options to explore by the future so whilst things may be a struggle now, hold on to the fact that one day this will be a distant memory. You will get back on your feet. Good luck and take care.

Betty can i ask what isit you do?

No, you may not.

Please RollonBed don't let the horrible posters get the better of you, it's just late night entertainment to them.

BusStopBetty There's plenty up "made up" on this site, and I don't think OP is one of them.

What the OP does to earn a living is hdr business. If it worka for her, then tbat is enough. Doesn't matter whether you or I or anyone else would prefer treatments childfree, if there is a market for home treatments then why not exploit it?

So you work then?