To be worried?

[RollonBed]

New to mumsnet, just joined purely because its all i can think about. Love reading other threads though.

Ok, so the cap comes into place tomorrow 384 pound a week. Im a single psrent 2ith 4 children. How on earth an i expected to pay rent out of this and live? I will have to pay £104 pound rent a week! Thats 280 to buy food, petrol, gas, electric, water... yes i pay monthly for these but each week i make sure i set aside 50 pound... its said some 300,000 children will be pushed into poverty and people may loose there home over it. Im so worried i cant eat or sleep!! Should i be worried. aibu to think this is such an unecessary thing gor goverment to do?

OP...... if your kids live more than two miles away from school (aged under 8) and cant walk (as in too dangerous) you are entitled to free transport

You're doing so well Op, rebuilding your life and that of your children after horrific circumstances. Everything has changed so much in four months, and will continue to change. You will no doubt regain a client list and build up a business again like you have done before, in the meantime you are in a temporary situation so please don't worry too much. Your weekly breakdown of figures shows you will be able to make do, and it's not forever - just til you are back on your feet. Perhaps consider going vegetarian for a while to save on food costs, as previous posters have recommended there are plenty of useful resources out there for inspiration.

Good luck, this time next year you will look back and be proud of what you got through.

Rollonbed YANBU it must be a massive shock to you and your children to have had to uproot your lives and go through everything you have in the last few months.
The shock of all that then having to worry if you can actually afford everything you NEED to survive must be very stressful.
I count myself very lucky that my OH earns enough to provide for us but I know I would struggle if anything happened and we had to claim benefits.
I would look at things like my gas/electric and see if I could get a deal from another supplier. Have you shopped around for cheaper Ins? That might take the burden off a bit.
I really hope you are able to cope on the money you get and things don't become too bad for you.
As for all the posters being horrid about the amount of benefits she gets in relation to your wages do you have to try and feed,clothe and provide for 4 children on your own? If you did you would have more sympathy for this poor lady and the situation she has found herself in!

I think, with all due respect, some posters are applying too much logic to an emotional issue.

The OP has had a lot of control taken away from her. She's been through a lot of change that she hasn't initiated herself. She's lost her partner, her business, her home, her support system and has had to move to a new location. She's had to be strong for her kids. That's quite a tough emotional situation.

The benefit cap is another thing instigated without her control. I'm not disagreeing with the cap, just saying it's something that has happened outside of her control. She can cope financially now, but the fear of what may happen might be worrying her, because she doesn't know how she'll cope with one more hard thing.

After a traumatic event lots of things that seem small to other people can trigger anxiety and worry. Just because she is logically in a better financial situation than some of us does not mean she feels that on an emotional level.

I understand that it's hard for people who manage on less to read the OP's post, but that's no excuse for the way some people have phrased their objections on this thread. Having different opinions is one thing, making wild accusations about the OP's character is another.

I apologise, OP, if I've misread the emotional impact of what you've been through. It sounds horrendous.

Great post above.

How hard is it to be kind to someone in this situation?

You say you can't change the schools because that's down to the local authority - that's not necessarily the case. I was told categorically 'no' by the LEA but 'yes' by the actual schools when I emailed them and told them of my situation. They could in fact squeeze us in. Or if not, you go on a waiting list. Maybe this is something you could try?

Blimey your gas and elec is high. Ours is only £90 a month in a house.

Ssenunni - thank you for your understanding. Its greatly appreciated.
Bacon - for the schools they are academys and the ultimate choice is down to the council. I have appeales there decision and i had a hearing but again even with all of my circumstances and having social services and health visitors support it was unsuccessful. This is because the school is the only one in the village and are already stretched to limits and more children would make it a hwalth and safety issue.

People who keep saying my gas and electric is high. The 50 aside is also for water. Surely you all pay for this too?

Including water would be £120 a month. You still need to shop around for gas and elec OP. You could save yourself a fortune and have money to set aside for emergencies. Try one of the switching websites :-)

Hmm.. So you've done everything you can there... .They're on the waiting list though?

This may have been said, cba to read back....

If you go to moneysavingexpert, they have a tool. You put in your bills, they do some magic and tell you the cheapest for you.
You could save a fortune.

Also, water. This is a human right so they cant stop it as long as you offer something. If things are genuinally as tight as you say, offer £1 a month and pay it and they can't do anything about it.

Telephone, broadband etc, if your circumstances change they would be stupid not to change contracts. Just say you are in financial hardship and they will help.

That goes for every bill (except tv licence and council tax i believe).

They may all ask for you to fill out a expenses form in paper or over the phone, but it is worth doing if you genuinally need help.

hope that helps

I see the vultures are out in force. 🙄

OP yanbu. This new lower benefit cap is going to push so many more children and families into poverty its quite disgusting actually.

And yes i do work and pay a lot of tax bla bla bla. I just don't advocate starving children and making them homeless.

Well, well, well. Mumsnet goes from saving someone's life to denigrating the life of a victim of abuse in the space of 24 hours.

You should be ashamed of yourselves. We workers all pay taxes so that if we were to find ourselves in unfortunate and unexpected circumstances we would have a cushion for a while till we got back on our feet. That is what the benefits system is all about, no? The OP has explained how she came to fall upon hard times. She knows it's temporary and has explained time and time again about things like the necessity of having a car re: her nature of employment and the school situation.

How many times do people cry "Leave the bastard!" on here? Too many to mention. What people who cry that fail to mention is that if that woman manages to get out of that abusive situation she'll be turned upon by the MN benefit bullies at the first opportunity. This is just so shocking! I'm ashamed.

OP, I can understand your worry. Your income will drop and you're wondering how you'll cope with the decrease. Haven't we ALL gone through the exact same thing at some time in our lives, people?! Have some empathy! Well done to the people giving real practical advice on what the OP can do to save money and calm her fears that she can't manage on her budget.

There is a lot of misplaced anger on this thread. "I work full time as a single parent and am on the same or less." Etc etc. Well, why aren't you up in arms about stagnating wages?!? Public sector workers having little or no cost of living Payrise for years on end are what has made YOUR budget on a full time wage so impossible. Or zero hours contracts! SAVE your misplaced anger and fight against those parts of modern working society which results in thousands of people to fall into the "working poor" category. The OP shouldn't be bullied because you are angry at your own situation!

For what it's worth, OP, I earn just under 23k working full time (less about 6 weeks a year). I have 2 kids and a DH who earns more, who pays most of our bills. So if he suddenly ceased to exist in our lives, we would be up shit creek. I added up our basic household expenses to see if we could manage on just my salary. With 2 kids. It would be bloody hard. No money for clothes or birthdays/presents.

So, OP, hang in there. You have fallen on hard times. You will get through this with clever budgeting and plenty of advice from kinder MNers. And eventually you will get your life back to how you want it.

Hear hear Assassin, fucking amazing post

The reason why I personally have been harsh on the OP is because of the nature of her post. Rather than "I'm so worried about being able to survive after the benefits cap, so I've decided to get a job, does anyone have any tips about finding affordable childcare/applying for jobs etc", she has shown no sign that she's prepared to do anything for herself. Everything is someone else's fault - her ex's fault, the government's fault etc. The benefits cap is going to get tighter and tighter (and personally, I'd cap benefits for non-disabled people who choose not to work at 80% of the earnings of a full-time minimum wage earner), and there is a reason for this - to get people back into work!! Benefits are DELIBERATELY getting stricter to make it less of an easy street, and this was announced ages ago to give people time to find jobs. We all have to attempt to take responsibility for our lives.

You don't get full housing benefit if you're working 16hours though. We weren't enfifldd to sod all off HB when my (now Ex) was out of work and the only job I could get (and did) was for 12hours a week.

I'm a single parent off sick at the moment (2 kids) and I manage with a lot less. Appreciate you have more mouths to feed OP but it does seem like budgeting could help. I how hard it is, I had to pay the underoccupancy charge for the very room my son slept in for years spare my arse. It is hard but is doable.

I honestly think some people on here really don't have a clue........how can the OP work as a single parent? childcare for one child is expensive let alone four. OP, as others have suggested batch cooking is a great way to cut down food costs and you need to meal plan before shopping guide so you buy what you need. Also your phone does seem expensive but if you are tied into a contract then there's not a lot you can do. It sounds like you've had a really shit time and you should be proud at getting this far. Could you maybe invite a few school mums round for a beauty evening to test out your treatments and go from there. Good luck with it all

In fairness I'm extremely happy for my taxes to support women and children fleeing dv

Me too, Stealth.

When I was living in a council house (3 kids) until recently my rent was 420 a month, we have our own business and I do the banking so basically take how much I want out for living expenses etc, I very rarely took more than £400 per week. I think people just sort of decide that they're skint when they're on benefits and act accordingly. I had a friend at college always borrowing money off me and she's basically had the same money as me with only 2 kids. My mum did nothing but twine and moan constantly despite dusability benefits and working on the side, also trying to scrounge as much ch as possible off me as well. So yes you are being VU!

More children would make it a health and safety issue.

Standard reason excuse used by LEAs of good smaller schools. Logical reasons but not always the case. I had the same with my DD. A major reason was because they noted the H&S issue. Only they were in the middle of building an extension at the time so it didn't help their case at all. We still won with the help of a solicitor. Again, might not be an option for you but we found one who did packages and was VERY good at what they did.
Have they been put on a waiting list? Or could you apply again?

she has shown no sign that she's prepared to do anything for herself. Everything is someone else's fault - her ex's fault, the government's fault *

I trained and worked for years to provide and build for my family.. and i plan to do so again very soon. Yes it is my exs fault for me being in this situation or should i become the next statistic take him back when hes done hisnstretch and next time instead of having someone find me half dead actually just go the whole hog and die? - arent you just the picture of kindness.

Yes they are on a waiting list i have to reapply every year. They stay on the list until change of year.

Me too Chachacha.

You, OP are exactly the type of person who should get benefits, they are there to help out in difficult times. I do get annoyed as I have family members who blatantly can't be arsed to work yet are perfectly capable but this situation is very obviously entirely different.

Op, mumsnet is a great place but sometimes you have to skim read past the posts which just want to put you down and focus on the ones that are useful.