To be worried?

[RollonBed]

New to mumsnet, just joined purely because its all i can think about. Love reading other threads though.

Ok, so the cap comes into place tomorrow 384 pound a week. Im a single psrent 2ith 4 children. How on earth an i expected to pay rent out of this and live? I will have to pay £104 pound rent a week! Thats 280 to buy food, petrol, gas, electric, water... yes i pay monthly for these but each week i make sure i set aside 50 pound... its said some 300,000 children will be pushed into poverty and people may loose there home over it. Im so worried i cant eat or sleep!! Should i be worried. aibu to think this is such an unecessary thing gor goverment to do?

How do you propose she has less children Topsy? Put a couple back?

You don't have to believe her ex suddenly turned, but since you weren't there I suggest you keep your bitchy opinions to yourself.

I don't begrudge the op a penny...she has been through a lot and is bringing up 4 young DC. Of course the state should help her. It's the lack of gratitude that strikes me for the help she receives. Of course you're not going to be able to live a luxurious life on benefits... but the op has enough to live on if she budgets correctly. I'd consider myself pretty lucky to receive such an amount and not have to work for it.

Yes, nasty fuckers.

I don't give two shits what the OP asked in her OP.

Read between the fucking lines a bit. This is a woman with four children who was left for nearly dead by her husband. A woman who is trying to rebuild her life and care for her children who have had their lives turned upside down.

I don't care if the OP feels the government is being unfair. She is scared, she probably does feel like it is unfair right now. I doubt she is feeling very logical about it.

So fucking what if right now she thinks she will struggle. So fucking what if she is against the benefit cap. Right now she needs support and encouragement. She has acted with good grace throughout this thread and it speaks volumes about her and the decent kind person she is.

OP, I really admire you and think you are doing fantastically. Hold your head up high.

TopsyGrim2 What a disgusting human being you are!

Topsygrim: you can't afford children? What's wrong with you? Get a better paid job so that you can! What? Your circumstances don't allow it? So you're not so different from the OP then, eh? Her circumstances don't allow some things at the moment. Her 4 children were born when circumstances DID allow her to have them. I'm intrigued to know, Topsy, precisely what should the OP do now that they are here on this planet and her circumstances have changed? Should she put them to work in a sweat shop? Send them up the chimneys? Thankfully times have moved on and both those things are illegal now in our country. This is how and why the benefits system was born. It seems some posters, though, would rather have our children back up the chimneys than give them a bit of money in their hour of need.

As has already been stated, some utterly vile posts on this thread. Some people have zero empathy. As someone up thread said, it's not a race to the bottom. Anyone working all hours for low wages should be asking why, what has gone so seriously wrong that it's necessary to live like that? Direct your anger to the right place and not at the recipients of benefits. Good luck op, hope things work out.

OP you poor fucker. What a bunch of nasty cunts there are on mn these days.

Life is sometimes a bit shit. My mum was in a similar position to you OP. I have been there too.

What works is planning everything. Meals, bills, birthdays, Christmas. Have 2 bank accounts and transfer money each week to cover stuff like birthdays and Christmas.

Meal plan for every week. Stuff like stews and spaghetti bolognaise are usually cheaper to batch cook and freeze left overside. Aldi or Lidl are definitely significantly cheaper. Place like home bargains or Wilkes are good too but make a list of what you end otherwise you will spend more than you can afford.

Do a scout around charity shops every week for bargains. Ds is currently wearing a John Rocha winter coat I bought in April for £4!

Do you still have your work kit? If so and you can manage it around the dcs start putting the word out now. You can register as self employed and as long as you keep accurate records you can earn money. Check if you are entitled to childcare with your account credits and use the online calculators. You could also contact your local college to see if you can do any courses to refresh your skills and you might get childcare. Plus contacts in the local area.

Good luck op. In a few years you will be back earning and out of this rut.

Isn't it just lovely when people start to throw abuse at a women who has recently survived domestic violence on such a scale that she was hospitalised. Her 4 children witnessed this. They have all fled there home leaving everything, including a successful business that supported them all.

To call this person entitled is disgusting beyond belief. I hope the people who are issuing this vitriol are happy in there own little bubbles and never have them popped to find themselves in dire straits as the OP has.

OP keep going. You did well to get away, take time to get yourself and your children through this, seek counselling. Take the good advice given hear and ignore the ignorant abusive witches who have never walked a yard in your shoes never mind a mile.

Have fewer children if your husband is that much of a dick, and sorry, I don't believe he suddenly turned on the death of his parents

Hmmmmm...spend half an hour on the relationships board. Happens all the time. Happened to me. And I am no one's fool. Don't count your chickens, no one is immune from life's curve balls.

I reported this hours ago. I hope MNHQ comes on soon to delete the victim blamers.

Frouby - yes i do still have all my kit thankfully. As most of it was kept in the car except for larger items for in house apps. But they have been replaced theough insurance so i never lost out! I have been already advertising and marketing int hw area. I have poated leaflets and made up new accounts. I was going to advertise on hear im now fearful this will cause more hatred. Thw great thing about what i do is i dont need childcare! As 80% of apps are at home!

U2 your so kind

I'm so glad you've got your tools OP. You might be better off self employed. You'll get the highest rate of WTC if you don't earn much at the start and there are all sorts of allowable expenses which don't count as profit including your advertising while you're starting up. Advertising and looking for work also counts towards your weekly hours but do keep records of time spent. You should also be able to get housing benefit / council tax benefit and not be subject to the cap. Best of luck

How on earth did you not need childcare when last year you had three children at home including two babies?

And more to the point who pays for beauty treatments with three kids running round?

Ok OP I'm going to be honest. I read your first post on this thread and immediately thought "get a fucking job" I'm sorry for that having read your subsequent posts in this thread.

Do what you can to get by and don't feel guilty. I don't have loads of tips other than perhaps stop shopping at Tesco since it's dirty dear and start shopping at Asda as it's vastly cheaper.

Hope things start to look up.

Sorry again for hoiking my judgey pants up

Hmm, good point. I was coming back to add that under U.C the business would need to be viable from day one and pay a certain amount every week, not sure what the conditionality is for lone parents.

Topsy if you do ever have children, perhaps get some empathy and humanity first.

Because i had lounge and diner with an arch betwee. i have well behaved children? Why would people not want treatments because theres children in the house? So now not only are people.knocking ne gor being on benefits people are knocking mw for working. Wow. Cant win can i?

Sorry for spelling mistakes. Im tired.

Mostly because it's not exactly a relaxing experience with small children running around. And it's hardly fair on the children either. If you made £130 a day profit they weren't getting much of your attention.

If you want to make a go of it in the future you need to find appropriate childcare. Sticking them in another room isn't fair on them or your customers.

I think the positives you can take from this thread is its doable, but may not always be comfortable. You really need to do some work on your outgoings tho. I found it helped to know what others were paying to give me a ball mark figure so:

Gas, water and electricity (3 bed semi) around £95 per month. Are you metered?

Food with milk and nappies £60-70. Meal plan, even down to veg&snacks so there is no wastage. Write it out and clip it to fridge then stick to it. Shop online (i find Asda cheaper) and utilise freezer. I make double portions then freeze for next week.

Car Insurance £36pm (1.6 4yrs old) £100pm is crazy money. Especially as you have 2 years no claims on a 12 yr old car? How much is your car worth? Is it worth switching to 3rd party? £1200 a year may well be more than your car is worth?

It's awful having to say no to the kids. My LG was desperate to go in a snow globe attraction today but it was £10 and I couldn't justify it at this time. She was pacified with a donkey ride but I felt so bad. When your children get a touch older they will be so proud at how you fed, clothed and cared for them, missed treats will be forgotten about. I keep snacks/drinks in my bag, avoids £5 spends in corner shop. Try and save monthly for Christmas and birthdays.

Go to citizens advice to be absolutely sure you are receiving the maximum help (not just monetry) you are entitled to.

From what I can gather living on a budget is a reasonably new concept to you and I can see why that's frightening. Soon you will find satisfaction in bargain hunting. I wish you the best of luck in your new frugal future with your children. Hold your head high.

And it's hardly fair on the children either. If you made £130 a day profit they weren't getting much of your attention

Oh I hate it when I'm right! You can't win, OP. There are those that are never happier than when laying into single parents. I think we scare them. All that determination and ability to do it on our own. How dare we?!

I wish when registering with MN a big flashing sign would come up to say 'Don't post in AIBU if you seriously want proper advice'. It would help no end.

Yes topsy she can just put on a jumper but she had two babies.
Op good luck rebuilding your life. I cannot quite believe the level of. Nastiness on this thread. Being jealous of someone in your position is just crazy.
I ha be 3DC and my dh has a fantastic salary and pays hrt. However it he turned on me I was would. Be up shit creek. My self employment would not be viable.
As other have said you deserve support from taxpayers to get back on your feet.