Livid with MIL

[Chocness]

Background to this is that I have a 18 month old DS who I thank my lucky stars has always been a good sleeper. His current sleep pattern is:

Wakes 6.30am
Naps 10-12.30 ish
Naps 4-5.30 ish
Bedtime at 8pm. Sleeps through most nights with the exception of illness/teething etc

His room has a blackout blind up at the window and we close his door when he goes to bed. His room is dark but not pitch black to the point he can find his own dummy or lovey when needed. He normally wakes up a happy chappy, normally humming or chatting to himself which is when we go and get him out of bed.

Today MIL comes over and announces that she is worried and has been having sleepless nights about DS sleeping in a pitch black room. She is concerned that he is waking up disorientated and scared in addition, that as she has never heard of a toddler sleeping so much during the day that we are leaving him to lay in his bed in the pitch black unnecessarily. I could have swung for her.

I am not the most confident of mothers and these remarks have really bothered me. Aside from asking you AIBU to tell her to mind her own business fuck off I'm concerned that my DS may have something wrong with him to still have these long naps. Aside from not talking much DS is meeting all his development milestones and is an energetic and mostly happy toddler (with the exception of the odd tantrum!).

AIBU and should I be concerned about the length of his naps?

My little dd likes it dark at night, whilst my older dd needs a night light.

She's pushing your buttons. Ignore.

Oh, just ignore her. If you don't you're setting yourself up for 18+ years of stress.

It's not her place to worry about your Ds. Essentially she's worried about how you are parenting him. She can sit and swivel though can't she.

Just tell her it works for your dc.
probably offer her advice on something

Buy her a blackout blind, to help her with her sleepless nights.

Flisspaps

Thanks everyone, you've really boosted my confidence. Some great suggestions here which have made me chuckle and given me something to mull over for when I speak to her tomorrow. Part of this is that MIL and FIL were both teachers (retired 20 odd years ago though!) and whilst I have the utmost respect for what teachers do, these two muppets still think they are in the classroom when it comes to observing how I and DH are parenting, likewise my BIL and his wife regarding their kids. Every time we see them (not often thank god) they make some 'observation' about our parenting, it feels like we are being constantly assessed. DH lets the comments roll over him but they really get my goat probably because I know how she has moaned to me about my SIL's parenting skills and is probably doing the same to others about ours.

Nurszilla- We've never left DS to cry himself to sleep, we're very lucky that he has always liked his bed and sleep. Kicks up a stink if we skip a nap mind you and doesn't sleep in the car or the buggy when we do but I know you can't have it all so I'll take the decent sleep in his bed any day.

I visited my parents this wk. My dad had put up black out blinds as struggled to sleep their in the summer (I'm nearly 40)

She sounds like a drama queen. Bless, she couldn't sleep. Sounds like your ds can. .

Would she rather your DS didn't sleep? Next time she starts with her nonsense, tell her it works for DS and say just that.

DD always slept in the pitch dark. More recently she's asking for some light when she falls asleep (she's 2.5). Whatever works!

Your H needs to tell his parents to butt out.

I remember something from when DS now 18 was tiny, that apparently letting children sleep with a light on makes them more likely to be short-sighted.

I'm terribly short-sighted & would blunder along in the dark to see to him in the night, for his own sake, not mine!

She is being ridiculous "losing sleep" over it FFS

At that age dd1 slept 8.30pm-8.30/9am, and then would sleep 2-5pm every day revenge came from dd2 who didn't sleep

So it's not a ridiculous amount to sleep. You can't force a toddler to sleep.

Look up some articles supporting naps and sleeping in the dark and ask them to write some questions for a reading comprehension. They'll get their teaching hats on and actually learn something new. Ok maybe not.

Ignore, ignore. Smile and nod if you can be arsed.
My girls have both always had blackout blinds and curtains!! Closed doors also.
They are brilliant sleepers still at 6 and 4.
They are not scared of the dark and never have been.
I take our travel blackout blind everywhere with us.
The naps also sound normal, if a bit later than we used to have!!

LifeLong13

Just laugh and say goodness you have some funny ideas.

This ^^ from 2014newme

Best idea ever.

I don't understand why your MIL would want to create a problem where there isn't one. You have a happy, healthy toddler who sleeps well. All good.

Mine always had the same naps in the day. The afternoon one until starting school. And still sleeps with blackout blinds at 10.

My son took long naps at that age, in fact until well past his second birthday - about half an hour in the morning and then two and a half to three hours in the afternoon. Slept at night from about 9:30pm to 7am. His room was dark and peaceful - he was happy that way. Your son would let you know if he was unhappy! With all due respect, your MIL is being completely absurd. (And sleep is so important for a child's brain development. I think it's possible that your son is quite bright.)

I don't think he is sleeping too much in the day, especially as he gets up so early. Will he not go longer at night?

Just laugh and say goodness you have some funny ideas.

This ^^ from 2014newme
Me too love this! And I'm a Grandmother who is a great believer in creating sleep inducing environments with blinds etc. Children are all different. My Dc3 was like your DC and it was great! He still likes his sleep now he's 30!

We have blackout blinds. Little humans need to sleep in the dark, we're diurnal animals.