Staying with mil

[ManInYourClothes]

We have agreed with mil that whilst renovating our new house we (dh, myself and dd) will stay with her until early Feb.

She has today sent a list of 'rules' proposing the rent to be 500pcm (we are in a small double with dd). We are not allowed to use the cooker or washing machine but the microwave is free for our use . We must first knock before entering the lounge after 6pm and our showers must be taken before 8am or after 7pm (no baths).

I spoke to her last week about the two single beds currently in the room she wants us in (the smallest of 4 doubles she lives in a 5 bed house). I asked if we could bring our own bed or at least the mattress to put on top, answer was no they will have to be pushed together.. no other reason given.

I have said to dh that I dont think I can live like that and want to find an alternative. He reckons this is all normal and everyone has ground rules. What do you all think?

No.

What goes on in the living room after 6pm that means you have to knock first?!!

My goodness! What a crazy set of demands.

DH and I stayed with my parents for two months between the sale of our last house and buying our current one. DM and DF would not entertain any kind of board/rent, although we did contribute to the food shop. They said we were incurring enough costs with having our furniture in storage and on the extra mileage (they live c20 miles from us but in the opposite direction from where we worked at the time), and that we should use any savings towards the costs of moving.

I realise that they were unnecessarily generous, but far from creating entitled children, they have succeeded in nurturing three very kind and generous children. What goes around comes around!

Could she mean you can't use washer and cooker because she will cook and do washing for you. clutchingatstraws

Around here, you could short termmlet for that much a month with bills! Depends where you are but yes, travelodge would work out just as well especially as kids eat free.

Find elsewhere or your relationship with your MIL will be irreparably damaged

Don't do it OP.
These rules would be crazy enough if she let you stay for free, but £500 a month??

Go elsewhere, anywhere. You could find a cheap bedsit or furnished let for less than that, where you could shower when you please and use the cooker

What part of the country are you in OP?

Try airbnb. Unless you're in London it'll be cheaper than that for a decent sized place where you get to use the kitchen. She sounds completely U!

How expensive is the city you live in? Surely you could rent a 1 bedroom or a studio for about that much, and you'd be allowed to use the sofa, cooker and washing machine!

She obviously thinks she's running a 1950's guest house not helping out family members!

Just no! What part of the country are you in - I would find a rental, ask everyone you know, you never know who rents.
For your own sanity - no!

OP what does your husband say about this? It sounds weird beyond belief.

She could loosen up over the sitting room bit and the bedrooms .
I wouldn't charge my eldest and his family to stay but I do have the finances to cover the extra costs. I would be pleased they would want to stay with me.
I am very territorial about my kitchen though and laundry room and would probably do all the cooking and washing myself but apparently I am " a bit over the top".

How can you live in a place where you can't cook?

And why do you need to knock before you enter a room that's meant for 'public' use (I mean, everybody in the house)?

I didn't rtft. But seriously, this seems unreasonable.

No way would I stay there

Find somewhere else and make sure she knows exactly why

She obviously doesn't want you to stay so is doing this to get the desired outcome of you staying elsewhere without actually saying no to you.

So you can't cook hot food,, have to sleep in single beds, where does DD go, in the coal scuttle? You have to go to the laundrette, & can't watch TV, or even sit in the front room.
Look elsewhere. keep away from this person.

There must be a back story to this.

Surely you haven't known this woman for x years, been to her house, countless times, married her son, given her grandchildren and she's been 100% fine and normal yet she then suddenly springs this weirdness on you?!

Are you going to come back?

I'm also curious as to what goes on in the lounge after six where uou have to knock....

She does not want you there, and has made her delightful offer under sufference.

Do not go there!

I have a lodger who is unrelated to me and none of these rules apply to her. I wouldn't dream of it, for lodgers or family. She's batshit.

Air B&B or holiday home.

Why does your DH think this us normal? . Did he grow up like this? If so, you'd imagine when he left and discovered the rest of the world doesn't carry on like this, he wouldn't be in such a hurry to go back...

Run! Run to the hills! Don't look back! Go!

Another one saying she is either batshit crazy or doesn't want you there (or both). You just don't behave that way to paying guests, particularly if they are family. Please find an alternative, for your own family's sanity. Out of curiosity, are all the other bedrooms apart from her own, occupied?