Really offended by this comment, AIBU?

[tiredmum81]

I was collecting ds1 from school today, having a nice chat with a woman I know who is a child minder. She was telling me about the kids she is currently looking after. Then she says " you have my worst nightmare though, 2 boys! 1 is OK, but not 2!". I told my husband and he laughed, but I felt really upset to hear my children described as a nightmare. I mean, they can be at times, when they are noisy and driving me bonkers, but not because of their gender! Aibu to feel upset that people look at my children and judge them harshly because they are boys?

I have two boys ,now older and often had that comment when they were small and very boisterous.One of my very best friends and mother of three very quiet girls said once while watching my boys play the way boys do i.e. emptying out the contents of a blow up swimming pool on to the grass with
buckets "are they always like that" and then "glad I only have girls and the next time we should maybe meet without the kids" Needless to say we are no longer friends.

FGS she wasn't judging your boys. Are people really so over sensitive? Please tell me you were not actually upset by this throw away joke comment. Kids are hard work especially two close in age. I am sure I have said this about twins before or when I chat with someone with two toddlers. It does not mean that I dislike twins or have any real negative feelings about small children boys or girls.

YABU This is a compliment -- she is saying that you are probably doing a great job with two boys (judging from how nice and calm you are when chatting with her), which is something she herself would find difficult.

I used to get this negativity I have 4 boys, and when they found out that the youngest were twins I got the full on pity look

Mind you they had a point!

Don't be so sensitive and just think hormonal boys (they just grunt) are a lot easier than emotional hormonal girls (said with tongue firmly in cheek)

I get negative comments a lot about having 2 boys especially since dsis has one of each. People are twats and sometimes and say twatty things, she probably kicked herself afterwards for saying something so ridiculous!

I wouldn't be offended, but it certainly shows she's a knob.

I wouldn't be offended.
She wasn't insulting your kids.
Your dh laughed.
I would have laughed too.
Take it the way it was intended. As a joke.
It wasn't insulting.
Not necessarily sexist. She mAy not have liked two girls either!

You're being totally over sensitive, she's just making light hearted conversation.

I find it difficult to agree that the childminder "was being a nob", she made a comment regarding her experience of looking after two boys. In your position I would have responded with something along the lines "It's not so bad actually, ..." I'm a secondary school teacher, and often get told that my job would be a nightmare to others, "all those teenagers!" they say... my response: "Teenagers aren't that bad, they just get a bad reputation. The kids are the best part of the job"

FWIW, in their teenage years I find groups of boys easier to deal with than groups of girls. I wonder at what point this changes...

The cm most certainly is a knob. How socially inept do you have to be to stsnd infront of a mum with two boys and say "you've got my worst nightmare there, two boys" ?! The mind boggles . I would have been hurt too OP but then I would tell myself not to take the inane comments of such a dense numpty at all seriously. Oh and avoid her from now on!

I know bibbity. We should all go round with gags on our mouths and say nothing. Unless god forbid we say something in all innocence and inadvertently offend. What a great world we'd live in if we had zero tolerance for someone else making a joke or expressing an opinion. I, too am telling myself not to take the inane comments of such a dense numpty at all seriously.

Ok all that was to make a point. The point being, the type of comment just expressed is equally offensive if not more so because it was intended to offend. We don't know the motivation behind the childminder and I doubt very much it was intended to offend.

You've got my worst nightmare there = lighthearted? Ok then.

As this childminder isn't a friend of op's (or mine for that matter) then what does it matter if she avoids her from now on? As you have just demonstrated, we form very quick opinions about people from just a few comments. I have little patience with people who speak before they think. She was being silly, op should not be upset about a thoughtless comment like that but it's quite understandable that she is.

Totally agree op has every right to be upset bibbity.