AIBU about my fiances ex?

[chickencurrynriceyum]

This is a bit of a back story, but I have 2 ds (6 and 3) and I am pregnant due next month. My older DSs dad doesn't see them, so I was really pleased when I met my current fiancé but he's already got a child with his ex who causes lots of problems for us. She always comments on my scan photos on Facebook, she has photos of my ex up. She clearly can't move on. AIBU to think she needs to back off?

How old is her DD?

Is there a court order in place for contact between your fiancé and his DD? If not, he needs to consider getting one. Not you. Him.

OP, don't listen to the people giving you grief on here. Just adjust your settings so she can't see your photos / updates, she won't know you've done this. Also this means you don't have to unfriend or block her, so you won't get any grief.

But perhaps it's not a good idea to post pictures of her daughter on your FB (if you are, sorry if I got my wires crossed).

Surely the only reason you're putting photos of your unborn baby on the internet, is so that people can comment on them?

If you have a problem with her joining in, use the 'select audience' option, so she can't see.

Not sure what the problem is though.

You sound incredibly childish, your boyfriend has a history that involved someone else.

If you cannot cope with that then that us your issue

I think it's a bit shitty to suggest she hasn't moved on! The photos are there because she has a child with that man whether you like it or not, do you expect her to burn all physical copies of pictures of them together too or is it only the Facebook ones that displeases you? She probably thinks she's being nice and supportive of your relationship with her comments.

For god's sake! I read so many posts where the OP is unhappy that their partner's ex is still involved in their life when they have children together. Want the ex to disappear? Don't get involved with a man who has kids!

Change your settings, and remove her from your news feed.

YABU. You can't erase someone's history.

Interesting you haven't answered what kind of comments on the scan photos. I assume they were quite benign. You think it's not nice to unfriend her on Facebook, but bitch about her on an internet forum. Hmm.

It was half term. Obviously we wanted to go out and enjoy ourselves as a family with our sons and her daughter, but she insisted on her DD being back for her tea every day. Even though we'd of given her her tea.

I do need to be involved because we live together so contact effects me too. When it was half term we wanted proper family days out and couldn't due to her contact rules. - this is what happens sometimes when you fall pregnant to a man who doesn't have his shit together such as making sure contact is arranged properly. Perhaps you should have waited?

"My older DSs dad doesn't see them, so I was really pleased when I met my current fiancé but he's already got a child with his ex" So you were looking for a new daddy for your existing children then? . Except he's already got a child with someone else....

Interesting how these posts by these insecure women always state that the ex makes things difficult with contact. Interesting how these difficult ex's seem to only be prevalent on MN. . not saying that some ex's don't make things difficult, but it seems that every post wanting to bemoan the fact that there even is an ex needs to paint her as some kind of witch who is still in love with their man.....

TBH op you don't sound mature enough to have one child let alone three. And you do know that it's Facebook and not real life?

grow up.

Obviously we wanted to go out and enjoy ourselves as a family with our sons and her daughter

"our sons and her daughter"??

FFS. Now you're just deliberately being a goadyfucker.

YOUR sons and HIS daughter.

I'm out.

She sounds like a nightmare, OP. Fancy wanting her child to be brought home at a certain time! What mother does this?! I think you need to detach from her, and take a good, hard look at the man who disrespects the mother of his child's wishes. This could be you in a few years.

YAB generally U.

'Our sons and her daughter'

You are cuckoo.

Arf the OP and DP don't even share any DC yet, the two sons are from OP's previous relationship. Makes that comment even worse.

Well, apart from the fact that there are more children in this story, the writing styl is very similar to the one who is also getting married who wants the dd to spend her first night away from her mum at a wedding......

Yes I should have just said our children. My fiancé considers my sons from previous relationship to be his own.

"'Our sons and her daughter'" ah but let's not forget that she got together with this man because the children's own father wasn't interested. I'd bet any money the kids call him daddy......

To be honest, OP, I'd break it off. Neither of you seem to have a clue about parental responsibilities.

My fiancé considers my sons from previous relationship to be his own.

Yet you seem to take issue with his ex of his own DD.

My fiancé considers my sons from previous relationship to be his own. How long have you been together for him to consider this?? Your youngest is only 3 so in the space of less than 3 years he's considering your children as his, you're pregnant, engaged and I presume living together? Do you not think this all might be a bit fast, not just for you but for his child from a previous relationship and your own children?

Your ex isn't involved, you've replaced him with your new partner and all is rosy in your world, you're pissed off because his past hasn't been erased as well. You either want the daughter or the ex to disappear, but it's not going to happen I'm afraid. You need to find a way to deal with your insecurity, and quickly.