To order a takeaway for Christmas dinner when I'm hosting?

[thirteendolphins]

I have 2 DC's - nearly 4yo and 10 months at Christmas. I have invited my parents round for Christmas dinner, MIL, brother and partner and a friend. So 7 adults and 2 kids in total.

DP will be working on Christmas day and won't be home til about 7pm.

To be honest I get stressed out just making a roast dinner, the number of dishes to wash etc freak me out, the kids are going to be hyper, we'll have different guests visiting the boys late morning, the house will be a bomb site. If DP was here he'd make the Christmas dinner because he doesn't mind and is the complete opposite to me when it comes to cooking i.e. he is unflappable.

I, on the other hand, will get completely stressed, will be in the kitchen most of the day cooking and tidying up, will also be trying to keep up with the constant demands from the kids and trying to entertain the guests. I can feel my anxiety levels rising just thinking about it.

So I've thought about getting an Indian takeaway meal instead and providing pudding. My parents do this most Christmas days so I know they won't mind. It just seems so much EASIER. But I LOVE Christmas dinner (when someone else is doing it). I feel like I'm cheating.

But then I think surely the most important thing is that we're all together and I'm enjoying the kids and the guests and it's relaxed. Surely it won't be much fun for the guests if I'm flapping about, bright red and on the edge of tears???

AIBU??

Why on earth would you invite people round for Christmas dinner if you didn't want to cook it? You need to tell everyone your plans ASAP so that they can plan accordingly. If it were me I would make other plans.

If that's what you want to do then just go for it.

Or you or dh could cook the meat the day before, make sure everything is prepped, then it's minimal fuss for dinner on the day.

I'd be disappointed, but you're right the priority is to have a nice time together. Is there any scope for sharing the load? We do the turkey and my mum brings veg she's prepared at home so it's not so much trouble. Get each couple responsible for a major component?

Not sure why you invited them if it stresses you out anyway if your family dont mind do it or go out to eat

If that's what you want to do thenot fill your boots. It's your Christmas and as long as everyone who is coming likes it, I can't see the issue. Maybe you could get in a load of prepared traditional bits to appease those who want a Xmas dinner? Marks and parks usually have a good range.

I'm having curry on Xmas day as to me it's not about being stressed and frazzled. I've never cooked a traditional dinner and I'm late fifties.
I agree with the other poster...why are you hosting ?

Could you cook things ahead of time with H's help? Then on the day MIL could help you in kitchen organise reheating?
Or could you get each guest to bring something e.g one person bring stuffing, another veg, potatoes and you just do the turkey?
I do see where you are coming from but I know I wouldn't want to go to someone's house for an Indian takeaway on Christmas Day. I would be more than happy to help someone if I was going to be at their house though.

I sort of think that you shouldn't really have invited people if you felt like this. They're now in a difficult position - if you tell them and they pull out because of the food they'll look bad but for lots of people this would be a pretty disappointing Christmas dinner.

Sounds great to me! However, there are ways of making a Christmas meal easier on yourself if you want to go that way. Get everything ready-prepped, frozen roasties/parsnips etc, ready peeled sprouts, whatever you can cut corners on. Ask others to bring/prep something - in our family someone will often bring a cooked beef joint or bring round cooked roasties if we're at a house with a small oven!
I totally agree that it's about you all being together. I used to get stressed out doing Christmas lunch because the way I'd been brought up was that everything was home made - once I realised no one actually cared, it all got a lot easier! Now I cut whatever corner is available to cut.

You can't invite people for Christmas dinner and give them a takeaway curry I'm sorry but that is appalling unless it is agreed with guests in advance and you have warned them.

Would another option would be asking each guest to bring an element of the meal eg. Roast spuds, vegetables, bread sauce and you just do the turkey and gravy? Much less stressful probably?

I love christmas dinner too why dont you order from M&S turkey joint/crown and pre prepared trimmings you can cook the meat day before and bung everything in the oven for 40 minutes christmas day even the sprouts can be microwaved job done no faff or flapping

Well, you can do what you want, but I don't understand why you'd invite everyone over for Christmas dinner if you're not prepared to cook one?

YABU! Not unreasonable to have a take away, that's fine, but inviting people for Christmas dinner and then feeding them a takeaway ? That's not on! I think you need to tell them ASAP that you are planning on NOT cooking a Christmas dinner!

I'd be really gutted to go for 'Christmas dinner' and be given a take away. It's totally up to you but think it would only be fair to let your guests know and give them the option to make other plans.

It seems petty but it would spoil my Christmas

I'd feel the same way! I think I would get round it by buying everything ready prepared so it just goes in the oven/in a pan. So maybe a large ready prepared turkey crown, ready made roasties, stuffing balls, pigs in blankets etc. You could buy ready prepped veg too. Ready made gravy, bread sauce etc. Brandy butter/trifle/Xmas pudding etc. Probably wouldn't cost more than getting a takeaway for everyone. You could even cook it all in those tin foil roasting trays which you could chuck away if you don't want to wash up (I know it this is not very environmental but as a one off?)

Can your dh make it the day before, slice roast into gravy etc and then you could reheat it. Or do all prep day before and have a roast in the bag bird? I think it's a shame if you love it not to have it.

I agree with elsa.
It is your house and you should do as you want.

However, you could investigate pre prepped meals from the likes of M&S so you don't have to put in any effort, (or at least minimal effort). It is what my SiL does. She is a dab hand at roast "ping".

Whichever, don't get worked up. It's only a meal. Having the company of those you want is the most important part.

Why on earth did you invite everyone if you didn't want to cook? You say that your parents would be ok with this but what about your in laws?
I think it's very odd, Christmas lunch doesn't have to mean mountains of saucepans and all day in the kitchen, there are lots of things that can be done ahead of time it's only as complicated as you make it!

Last year I hosted for the first time for 5 adults and 2 kids. I prepped everything except sprouts, carrots and spuds the day before Xmas eve. I was surprised by how easy it was. I got everyone to chop in with the washing up and used the dishwasher. I also used aluminium trays and three those away. I didn't do a starter and made puddings in advance.

However if you can't plan and prep your way out of it then get a takeaway - just warn everyone first. The day is about joy and family. Would a m&s Xmas meal be an option or asking guests to bring some dishes?

Don't be a Xmas martyr.

I would have the saddest of sad faces if i went to your house and there was no turkey or chippolatas

I have to say I'd be a bit s disappointed with a greasy luke warm take away. It's hard to get a decent Indian round my way.

But I'd eat it and enjoy being with family so do what you think suits you.

I'm puzzled as to why you would a free to host if u didn't like to

Another vote for getting the pre-prepared stuff from M&S if you're not keen on cooking. Everything comes in foil trays, tastes fine, no washing up, everyone's happy!

What about buying everything in pre prepared , its up to you though however if you are getting takeaway tell your guests beforehand so they dont arrive expecting a roast dinner

I LOVE this idea!

Hosting is not just about cooking a meal. You can be a better host if you are not stuck in the kitchen all day stressed out.
And no washing up!

TBH I'd cheat as the risk with takeaway is they aren't open then you're really stuffed. All the supermarkets have stuff you just need to cook in the oven, write a list of timings and stick it up everywhere then just stick the pre-prepared stuff in.

I'd rather do a roast than anything else for multiple guests as it's all in the planning and the only dramas are gravy deigning to thicken and my potatoes need watching as they are inconsistent.

Major thing to consider is number of hobs and oven temperature/shelves but it's much easier if properly planned rather than a normal sunday roast where you try to do other things first and haven't done any pre-preparation (or is that just me!)