To order a takeaway for Christmas dinner when I'm hosting?

[thirteendolphins]

I have 2 DC's - nearly 4yo and 10 months at Christmas. I have invited my parents round for Christmas dinner, MIL, brother and partner and a friend. So 7 adults and 2 kids in total.

DP will be working on Christmas day and won't be home til about 7pm.

To be honest I get stressed out just making a roast dinner, the number of dishes to wash etc freak me out, the kids are going to be hyper, we'll have different guests visiting the boys late morning, the house will be a bomb site. If DP was here he'd make the Christmas dinner because he doesn't mind and is the complete opposite to me when it comes to cooking i.e. he is unflappable.

I, on the other hand, will get completely stressed, will be in the kitchen most of the day cooking and tidying up, will also be trying to keep up with the constant demands from the kids and trying to entertain the guests. I can feel my anxiety levels rising just thinking about it.

So I've thought about getting an Indian takeaway meal instead and providing pudding. My parents do this most Christmas days so I know they won't mind. It just seems so much EASIER. But I LOVE Christmas dinner (when someone else is doing it). I feel like I'm cheating.

But then I think surely the most important thing is that we're all together and I'm enjoying the kids and the guests and it's relaxed. Surely it won't be much fun for the guests if I'm flapping about, bright red and on the edge of tears???

AIBU??

Grim meal - has DS somehow got onto mumsnet ?

Granted an Indian takeaway might be nicer, but it was rather yummy, although we did all agree that roast chicken tastes better.

If you want grim you can have DH's usual Sunday evening special of using up all the unused veg in the fridge, stirring in a jar of curry sauce and cooking some fish with it.

rookie- each to their own.

rookie - what a depressing meal for a Sunday night!!

Gravy granules...? Was that tasty?

I'm genuinely interested. Due date is the 4th of December. So, although I absolutely refuse to cook for 16 people I'm not sure how we're going to feed them... (but I do know that it won't be Indian takeaway, tbh)

'So, although I absolutely refuse to cook for 16 people I'm not sure how we're going to feed them... (but I do know that it won't be Indian takeaway, tbh)'

Someone else does, you tell them you're not hosting this year or you tell them what to bring. Because anyone who expects a person who just had a baby to cook them a fucking meal is a fuckwit.

'rookie - what a depressing meal for a Sunday night!!'

It's a roast, how is that 'depressing'?

And I decided to tell MIL that I may not go to Midnight Mass with them. So, we'll see, I guess. (It's so stressful)

We've got the M&S shellfish knickerbocker glories for starters expat, they look most ungrim to me, but what do I know!
Also have bought some Aldi champers at £10 a bottle - it's meant to be really nice.

Sorry Op I sense we've all stressed you out and the correct response was to say that yes a curry would do nicely. to be honest 364 days of the year I'd be delighted with that, in fact I've now started getting Chinese banquets when we have guest over rather than cooking and our neighbours have invited us over next Saturday for takeaway.

However Christmas dinner is the one meal where there's a set expectation of what you get, and as I say it's really not too bad to make. particularly if you go for a turkey crown rather than full turkey as much easier to carve.

OP the best thing is to keep it simple and do as much as you can in advance. Check out Jamie Oliver's recipe for making gravy in advance. Takes a huge amount of stress out of the day because it's a last minute faff. Also pre cook red cabbage (in balsamic with apple and lardons) which actually tastes better after the day it is made. Both that and the gravy freeze well.

Buy a pre-stuffed turkey crown to bung in the oven.

Get MIL to bring starter and / or pudding. If you do the starter something like smoked salmon or pate with bread is easy and no advance prep.

Those shellfish knickerbocker glories looked yum. As for rookie's meal being grim - have you all lost your minds?!!!

expat

I know... but DH genuinely won't have time (it's not a lame excuse).

I can't ask my 16yo sister to cook for us.

My DF has never cooked anything.

My mother is getting treatment for MH issues, she currently simply can't plan a meal.

DB lives in a bachelor pad. There isn't enough space for all of us. Let alone the dogs or a Christmas tree.

My older sister and her family are flying in from Germany.

And the woman that cooks for use 2 a week said she couldn't come the week before Christmas.

*us

'I know... but DH genuinely won't have time (it's not a lame excuse).

I can't ask my 16yo sister to cook for us.'

Then he does it in advance or orders it up. Why can't a 16-year-old work an oven?

I guess some people are determined to be martyrs.

Jamie Oliver does a great Christmas dinner countdown, organises carrots in a slow cooker, toasties cooked a few days before and slung in for 10 minutes while turkey is resting. This could help you plan?

Or just get a takeaway, do what's easiest for you

Will def look into Jamie Oliver's plan, thanks.

I wouldn't mind in the least having a takeaway on Christmas Day. We are a bit spoilt as we go to my parents house and have the full works. Everyone lends a hand though whether it's in the preparations, cooking or cleaning up.

rookie that M&S meals sounds lovely.

If we were hosting, we would probably go the M&S route, but I also know we would be inundated with offers of help and various family members arriving with stuff and helping to clear up.

expat

My little sister has never cooked anything. Well, instant noodles, but that's it.

'My little sister has never cooked anything. Well, instant noodles, but that's it.'

And? It's not rocket science. No one taught most of us and we managed to be able to turn on an oven. My son has ASD and is 8 and he knows how to turn on the oven. He knows how to put a tray in, set the timer and take it out with an oven glove. She's old to not know how to even do that. Time she learned. You've made a rod for your own back. No idea why your DH can't do prep and cook and freeze the stuff, either.

expat

Sure. But starting with a Christmas dinner? For so many people?

neither of us cooks a lot. And I guess I'm also afraid DH may give us foodposioning.

I'll probably order something. I know, it's not a real issue. But it's still stressful (imo). Christmas is my favourite holiday and with the year ny family had... I just want them to enjoy themselves.

Why not? It's turning on an oven, putting something in, setting a timer and then taking it out. It's not negotiating world peace. Stop making a rod for your own back, especially when you have just had a baby.

But there's much more to making a Christmas dinner than putting something in an oven...

'But there's much more to making a Christmas dinner than putting something in an oven...'

Then you delegate it out because you've just had a baby! Or you martyr yourself away.

Can't imagine rocking up to someone's house when she just had a baby and her spouse 'doesn't have time' and expecting her to wait on me and not offering ot help.

I'd be sad to have a take away for Christmas day, but if one of my close relatives suggested it I'd suggest either moving the meal to my house so dh and me could cook it, or cooking at their house. Christmas is no fun at all when someone is very stressed.

OP Mary Berry has a really good Christmas book with suggestions for things that can be made in advance (eg all the roast vegetables, red cabbage, cauliflower cheese etc). If I was really anxious I'd probably cook ham rather than turkey as it's much more forgiving (I poach mine before roasting it so it's always juicy, no worries about over cooking it).

I like to make sure that on Christmas day I just have the joint, gravy and one green vegetable to cook from scratch and everything just goes in a very hot oven when the joint comes out to rest. I use foil trays for as many things as possible and I don't do any washing up if I am cooking (and if dh cooks I do all his washing up). I get my teenagers to do most of the prep the week before.

I do think that there is a limit to how much can be prepped in advance though. My PIL used to cook everything in advance and then go to the pub on Christmas day and microwave everything on their return and pour bisto gravy on top. It tasted pretty similar to school dinners and required a lot of alcohol in make it palatable (luckily that was never in short supply!)

Allocate a dish each.

You do the turkey, mil does spuds, sil veg etc, etc...

Throw dc at relatives to entertain whilst you cook organise, happy days, no take away, and happy campers for Crimbo.

expat

DH agrees with you and is rather huffy/bemused that I thought he wanted me to cook. When he explained why he won't have time to cook
he apparently thought it was obvious that we'd get the food delivered instead.

How was I supposed to know? He didn't say anything. But he thought it was more than obvious that I wouldn't do the cooking.
Let's just hope they won't be too disappointed when they get my cooking next year... 😔