To order a takeaway for Christmas dinner when I'm hosting?

[thirteendolphins]

I have 2 DC's - nearly 4yo and 10 months at Christmas. I have invited my parents round for Christmas dinner, MIL, brother and partner and a friend. So 7 adults and 2 kids in total.

DP will be working on Christmas day and won't be home til about 7pm.

To be honest I get stressed out just making a roast dinner, the number of dishes to wash etc freak me out, the kids are going to be hyper, we'll have different guests visiting the boys late morning, the house will be a bomb site. If DP was here he'd make the Christmas dinner because he doesn't mind and is the complete opposite to me when it comes to cooking i.e. he is unflappable.

I, on the other hand, will get completely stressed, will be in the kitchen most of the day cooking and tidying up, will also be trying to keep up with the constant demands from the kids and trying to entertain the guests. I can feel my anxiety levels rising just thinking about it.

So I've thought about getting an Indian takeaway meal instead and providing pudding. My parents do this most Christmas days so I know they won't mind. It just seems so much EASIER. But I LOVE Christmas dinner (when someone else is doing it). I feel like I'm cheating.

But then I think surely the most important thing is that we're all together and I'm enjoying the kids and the guests and it's relaxed. Surely it won't be much fun for the guests if I'm flapping about, bright red and on the edge of tears???

AIBU??

[EBearhug]

Would a takeaway be open on Christmas Day? I expect YABU for that reason, because you'd end up feeding them nothing.

I agree with prepping as much as you can in advance -and getting your brother or PiL to help (arrange this in advance.) Get one of them to do the cooking in your house.

[icanteven]

YABVVVU. If you don't want to be involved in Christmas dinner, don't HOST the thing. I would be stunned and very disappointed if I had been invited for Christmas, and at 7pm you pulled out the local takeaway menu.

It's your house and you can do as you want, but if you invite people over for Christmas dinner, there is a very clear implication of what to expect. If you don't want to provide any of that, you need to let your guests know well in advance.

Also, seriously, M&S do the whole thing in a box for you, and I imagine other supermarkets do it too. It's not rocket science. You'll have a whole bunch of adults there, so get one or both of your parents to help out.

order this - I'm sorely tempted myself now too.

[Bumbumtaloo]

TBH if that's what you want to do let your guests know ASA, they might want to make other plans, I know I would.

A few years ago we were invited to Christmas dinner at a relatives house and were asked to contribute towards costs, we duly handed over the money and bought the wine - also requested - and our 'dinner' consisted of a few sandwiches, sausage rolls and general party food. For what we had paid towards the 'buffet', petrol and wine - which neither of us could drink (DH was driving and I can't drink because of the medications I take) we probably covered the whole cost.

We went home hungry (nowhere near enough food) and fed up. Needless to say we stay at home and operate an open door policy all we ask is you let us know you are coming before we do the food shop.

[SprogletsMum]

I'm hosting Christmas dinner for 9 adults and 5 children this year. I'm not a great cook and will find it hard going.
They're all family so will be bringing bits they've cooked to lighten the load. I'll ask for help with dishing up, washing up afterwards, entertaining the kids etc.I'm not hosting alone I'm just providing the house we'll be a team. There's only mil who won't do anything because she never does.
I wouldn't have invited everyone if no one was going to help.

[Bluntness100]

I'm also unsure why you invited every round to dinner if uou don't want to actually make a Christmas dinner. You're simply putting your quests in a position where they have to be polite and say it's all great, irrelevant of their thoughts of being chucked a takeaway instead.

Christmas dinner is a bit of a stress with cooking and cleaning, that's what it is. You must have known that,

But you will have plenty people there to help you. You're only roasting a turkey , and making potatoes and veg, and buying a pudding which can be heated in the micro, you don't have to do lots of other stuff. And even the potatoes and veg can be bought pre prepared.

No, it won't be much fun for the guests if uou are going to be unable to cope and on the edge of tears, but again, why would you invite them if uou are not able to do it?

[DinosaursRoar]

Another vote for pre-prepared stuff!

Waitrose does a turkey you cook in a bag in an hour and half, you literally just heat the oven, take the outer package out and bung it in the oven the time it says. You can get potatoes and veg similarly just throw in the oven, pre-done gravy.

Move fast to get a food delivery slot so you can get it delivered and don't have to face the shops a few days before Christmas.

[Ankleswingers]

I would be telling them beforehand what you're intentions are as host. That way, you're giving people the option of deciding if they still want to come.


Why agree to host if you don't want to do it?

[Didiusfalco]

No, you at least have to talk to everyone up front. If you were in my family and I knew you were stressed I would offer to host you instead, but I would be disappointed to turn up to yours to find you dialling a takeaway.

[Crystal15]

It's stressful for the rest of us but just try get on with it. Plan ahead and give everyone jobs to help

[thirteendolphins]

okay you guys haven't made me feel much better!!

My parents nearly always have an Indian takeaway for Christmas dinner if they don't go out. They had one last year with my brother who's coming this year.

My MIL has nowhere else to go so she doesn't have a choice!

I would definitely pre-warn everyone!

It's my "turn" to host. Last year I went to my min and step dad's so it's my turn to see my dad and step mum this year and I was at theirs for dinner the year before that.

They could always come to ours on boxing day instead when we'll be having a proper Christmas dinner when DP is here

Gah! I don't WANT an Indian takeaway for Christmas dinner. Who knows what the kids would eat. But I do not want the hassle.

[Chewbecca]

I'd be really disappointed if I came to yours on the day and found a takeaway curry.

I really think you should speak to the guests now and agree

• you get a takeaway
  
• you eat out
  
• you eat in with lots of pre specified help from guests

[HermioneJeanGranger]

But why did you invite everyone for Christmas dinner if you didn't want the hassle?

[pasturesgreen]

I'm sorry OP, not what you want to hear but I do think it's pretty shit to invite people to Christmas dinner and serve them takeaway curry.

Would have been different if they'd invite themselves over, but surely you knew you were going to stress over the preparations?

That said, it won't be an enjoyable day for anyone if the host is frazzled, so I second going down the M&S ready-prepared route.

[kidssmilesarethebest]

Why don't you order a Xmas dinner in advance from the shops that provide it, instead?
I've tried M&S for 2 years and the food is fab, is proper Xmas food and the only thing you need to do is pop it all in the oven when time comes. No stress at all!

[Only1scoop]

I wouldn't like it but if your guests have that 'most years' then maybe it will be fine....
Alternatively just buy all ready done stuff as pp suggested.

[Chewbecca]

Seeing your latest post also want to add that my DS would love a curry instead of a roast, he especially likes tandoori chicken / shashlick, onion bhajis, Bombay pots and naans.

[user1477282676]

Does everyone LIKE Indian food? My Mum would Hate that! She can't or won't eat things like that at all. If you asked me over and did that I'd think "Bah...this isn't Christmas dinner! I'd rather have hosted myself!"

[thirteendolphins]

Still reading the rest of the replies but didn't know DP would be working until this week so thought he'd be here doing the lions share with me tottering about refilling glasses and being all merry.

[sofato5miles]

Ready made christmas stuff from the supermarket. We book a cottage every other year for the whole family and this works for us brilliantly.

Everything in the oven. It's easy.

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

You don't need to be refilling glasses. Just tell the guests where drinks and nibbles are and they can help themselves.

[dementedma]

Turkey crown cooked the day before..we have been doing that for years. All veg pre-prepped and just bunged in on the day. Fancy ice cream for dessert. Stress free.

[OohMavis]

In the case of you having your proper Christmas day when your DP is home on boxing day (we do this too), I don't think it's unreasonable for you to not want to do it twice. Tell them that!

But it wouldn't be curry. I'd just cook loads of nice food in advance, heat it up and chuck it all on the table so people can help themselves.

Big pot of chilli, baked spuds, huge salad, sticky ribs, naice bread and butter... Do it all in advance so you have a nice tidy kitchen on the day.

But you know what, if it makes sense and people don't care, get takeaway. Father Christmas won't put a hit out on you if you do

[NoelHeadbands]

On any of the other 364 days of the year I think this would be fine, but on Xmas Day I'd feel robbed!

[MrsJayy]

Its really just a roast with parsnips surely people will help you i go to mums every year and we all just help out she flaps about but we just give her wine and sort it for her. Honestly the pre prepared stuff is fine

[Swearwolf]

I'm also confused about why you'd invite people if you didn't want to host, and would be super disappointed with a takeaway.

But I can't believe nobody else has mentioned the washing up - why would you be doing it all? In my house growing up we all used to pitch in, mum and grandmother washing and wiping, old auntie stood around chatting and putting stuff away... You get the picture. Nowadays it's someone will be loading the dishwasher while someone else packs up leftovers, but same concept. Usually with a big glass of baileys or something. Does nobody else do that? Does the Christmas host just do all the cleaning up in all of your houses?