To order a takeaway for Christmas dinner when I'm hosting?

[thirteendolphins]

I have 2 DC's - nearly 4yo and 10 months at Christmas. I have invited my parents round for Christmas dinner, MIL, brother and partner and a friend. So 7 adults and 2 kids in total.

DP will be working on Christmas day and won't be home til about 7pm.

To be honest I get stressed out just making a roast dinner, the number of dishes to wash etc freak me out, the kids are going to be hyper, we'll have different guests visiting the boys late morning, the house will be a bomb site. If DP was here he'd make the Christmas dinner because he doesn't mind and is the complete opposite to me when it comes to cooking i.e. he is unflappable.

I, on the other hand, will get completely stressed, will be in the kitchen most of the day cooking and tidying up, will also be trying to keep up with the constant demands from the kids and trying to entertain the guests. I can feel my anxiety levels rising just thinking about it.

So I've thought about getting an Indian takeaway meal instead and providing pudding. My parents do this most Christmas days so I know they won't mind. It just seems so much EASIER. But I LOVE Christmas dinner (when someone else is doing it). I feel like I'm cheating.

But then I think surely the most important thing is that we're all together and I'm enjoying the kids and the guests and it's relaxed. Surely it won't be much fun for the guests if I'm flapping about, bright red and on the edge of tears???

AIBU??

I'm a bit confused when you say your parents have takeaway for Christmas dinner - mum&stepdad, dad&stepmum, or both? It seems quite surprising that people who would object to bringing food/washing up would pass no comment on getting a takeaway instead!

The M&S ready prepared dinner is very good. I got it last year. I never cook roasts (husband does and I wanted to give him a year off!)
It did look rather like a ready meal so we were dubious but it was really nice and so easy!
Plus if your mum and mil are like mine they will not be able to resist interfering helping.

Oh I see it's not your mum but your Dad and stepmum. Well if they are going to react like that, knowing you are doing it alone with two small children then they can stay at home, frankly. Tell them in advance that you will buy the food but would really appreciate some help with the prep and the cooking, either that or they take your children off your hands for 2 hours while you disappear into the kitchen with MIL.

Ask all the others to share the burden and it won't seem as daunting.

So one person does pudding and mince pies, another brings the stuffing, another is responsible for all veg preparation etc, someone else does the starter/canapes if that's what you have.

At our family Christmases a different person hosts each year but we all chip in.

If you can afford it, buy M&S or Waitrose stuff now and put it in the freezer. So stuffing balls, pigs in blankets, gravy, roast potatoes, can all be bought now and frozen. Then order a turkey crown(much easier to carve) from a local butcher and if possible get someone else to pick it up. Ask your relatives to prep veg (carrots, sprouts) and bring them with them.

I always make my roast potatoes ahead and freeze them, maybe your dh could do this if he likes cooking? Then you can just cook them from frozen on Christmas day. Alternatively you can just buy ready frozen ones.

I am still agog at the quite sexist responses on this thread about asking her mum or MIL to cook - there will also be three men in the house! Are they incapable of roasting potatoes or something?

To clarify my mum and step dad always have the big roast. My dad and step mum (who are coming on Christmas day) have either an Indian takeaway or go out for dinner. I spent my first Christmas at my dad's and step mum's a couple of years ago and they cooked the full roast which is unheard of.

I'm a bit of a perfectionist and get stressed out cooking large meals for numerous people. I don't like asking for help. MIL always offers to help when I'm cooking and would watch the kids, my friend and brother would also help with kids play with their toys under the pretence of helping with them So if I plan it properly and allow people to help me then I'm sure I could manage.

Another 4 guests have actually confirmed this morning they'll be coming! We always have a great time at Christmas when we're altogether so I'll just get everyone pissed and clean out m&s and I'm sure we'll have a ball!

Oh and I'll be making my own roasties! That is one thing i ace at!

I just find a traditional Xmas dinner so dull.
After we've been to friends for numerous bottles of champagne at lunchtime, the last thing I feel like doing is standing in the kitchen.

I would love this! I think roasts are over-rated. Yuk. I'd prefer a curry. As long as there's plenty of wine, who cares?

You don't need to order from M&S lots of supermarkets sell lovely bits for Christmas and you can go into the store and shop for it yourself a couple of weeks before and stick it in the freezer,much easier than worrying about ordering it and spending ages waiting to pick it up.

I make some things a week before Christmas and freeze them,I do the stuffing,mashed potatoes and cauliflower cheese.That way I have 3 items done and I just get them out the freezer the night before to defrost then when it's time the stuffing and cauliflower cheese go in the oven,the mashed potatoes go into the microwave with a large knob of butter and they taste great when they're all done.

You can buy ready made nice vegetables and stuffings,gravy and yorkshire puddings if you want to save yourself alot of time and prep work.

I would be so fed up if I went to someone's house and had curry on Christmas Day but then I would muck in,I'd never expect someone else to do everything else for me on Christmas Day.

When I was a kid, my parents did the roast on Boxing Day and a light meal on Christmas day. We LOVED this because it meant that adults were available to help us put toys together and play with them. To be honest, Christmas is so exciting when you are little, you don't really need a meal on top. It's actually nicer to spread it!

Nowadays, with just the two of us, we tend to cook on Christmas day. But that's because it's actually a pleasant and stress-free thing to do when you are on your own!

I'd love a curry on Christmas Day (any day really) and would be so overjoyed at not cooking I'd be happy with anything.

But I'd also cook (or ask DH to cook) a small turkey crown at some point over Christmas as nothing is nicer than cold turkey...

As per MrsJ's advice (and probably others, I did not RTWT) M&S do good pre made Christmas dinners, their food catalogue is in store now (you can also see the range online) as do Cook (cook food.net) and I'm certain Sains etc. will do similar.

If you buy pre-made as much as poss and pre-make and freeze some bits and bobs in the run-up to the big day, you can make it much more manageable.

The M&S and Cook products look expensive, but if you work out cost per person vs. buying and cooking items separately there's not much in it (and it might just save your sanity in on the day!).

Roasts are vile.

Curry is the food of the gods.

You know what you need to do.

expatinscotland
It doesn't have to be a roast.
But Indian takeaway??!

I'd prefer a curry to a roast, think xmas dinner is very over-rated.

I used to get stressed about hosting xmas lunch but then I discovered if you hit the prosecco early, then you don't really give a shit . also order it all from M&S, much easier.

With M&S you can pick up from the 22nd so it won't be heaving. Cook your turkey (crown - easier) on Christmas Eve so it's all ready and carved for you the next day. Chuck your M&S stuff in the oven in their little foil trays (no washing up). Voila. Christmas is catered. Plates in the dishwasher if you have one or say 'who's volunteering to do the washing up for me?' with the implication that you've slaved in the kitchen so you're let off
I think I might cheat too this year

Why not put on an AMAZING 'Boxing Day' spread???

fancy cold meats, salads, olives, chutnies, some really excellent sausages / s rolls,

You can buy ready prepped roasties etc to put in oven with chipolatas etc

For pud you can have fancy trifles / profiteroles / Christmas Cake and Pies

When the children were small we did this on Xmas Day (so we could enjoy Church / gifts) and then had our Christmas Dinner on Boxing Day.

Whatever is the least stressful thing for you that means you get to spend time playing with your children instead of feeling harassed is the option to go for. The obsession with the Perfect Christmas Roast, a task that inevitably falls on women, is just another way pressuring women into unattainable goals. Any guest that would kick off, complain or moan about what they are fed when there are 20 plus people in the house plus over-excited children and only 1 parent should be given a ready meal and a satsuma to eat in the car on the way home.

Honestly, Christmas is meant to be about families. Not one person stressing out in November to the point where they can't even relax with their kids.

In your shoes I'd do it all in advance, but I'm deeply attached to Christmas dinner.

Don't serve curry!

People are being harsh. It'll be hard in sole charge of a toddler who may only want you at that stage. Maybe do some sort of a buffet and look at what ready made food you can order from a supermarket?

You need to tell them! You invited them to Christnas dinner which is an actual thing. An Indian takeaway, nice as some may fine it, is NOT what you invited them to. I would personally offer them the takeaway OR they can pitch in and you get some ready made elements to make it a full Christmas dinner.

Forget that it is christmas dinner, just pretend in your head that it is a sunday roast. Get easy to cook cheat items such as:-

Aunt Bessies Roasts
Aunt Bessies Parsnips
Aunt Bessies ready made yorkshires
Chicken Breasts
Paxo Stuffing
ready prepared Sprouts and other veg

(all the above take 30 minutes of less in the oven)

Bisto Gravy and other condiments on the table

A easy cook christmas pud, some after eights, m&s trifle and some mince pies with brandy butter.

Have the plates all ready and laid out, do the table the night before...seriously it can be done really quickly and make a suprisingly nice dinner ( my daughters boyfriend praises my roasts, he prefers them to his mothers, I havent the heart to tell him he needs to thank Aunt Bessie!) xxx

BigSandyBalls makes mental note to add prosecco to the list...

I want to spend as little time in the kitchen as poss as it's my oldest's first proper Christmas that he's totally aware of what's happening and I want to enjoy it with him.

I like the idea of prepping as much as poss and freezing before hand to just bung in the oven/ping. Will have a look online at m&s online and also see what's available in other shops that can be put in the freezer.

So you're having Christmas dinner on Boxing Day?

I think tell people that & invite them, ask for suggestions for CD lunch or suggest the takeaway & see what is said.

I rarely have indian food so it would be an absolute treat for me, but I think I would still want to know.

Can't imagine no traditional Christmas lunch at all though, be it Christmas Eve, CD, Boxing Day...