AIBU to wince at a lot of baby wearing

[PetalMettle]

Baby wearing seems to have got a lot more popular in the last few years which is obviously potentially a good thing but people don't seem to know the TICKS guidelines. I frequently see children half way down their parents torsos and not properly supported. There was a kid the other day whose feet were wandering around his fathers groin. I always feel like I should say something because potential danger but that I can't. Anyone else have this?

I remember a thread on here a few years ago from a mum whose baby had had to be resuscitated that day, as he/she had been pressed too closely into her and was blue when she looked down.

Research seems to suggest no link between front carriers and hip dysplasia. The root of this belief appears to come from the author of the Continuum Concept who appears to have decided it on a whim.
skeptoid.com/blog/2013/01/25/will-the-babybjorn-endanger-your-infants-health/

My main problem with the baby bjorn is that it's uncomfortable for the parent, particularly for women, whose body strength tends not to be in the shoulders but in the hips and thighs. Men's upper body strength is typically more developed and men don't tend (anecdotally) to have issues with carriers such as the Bjorn. Women tend to find carriers which displace the baby's weight to the hips much more comfortable, while men find both carrier styles equally comfortable, meaning it makes sense (in my opinion) to go for one which is good for both.

The other problem with it in my opinion is that it's a level removed from the parent, I think carriers which enable you to have a closer level of contact are better if what you want is the feeling of security that the baby gets from being carried. I mean, if what you want is a hands free method of baby transportation then perhaps it does the job anyway. But in my opinion the whole point of it is having them close to you.

And then lastly it's just irritation at the ubiquitousness of it and the way that people tend to think "baby carrier" and assume it means a BB or similar, even though there are a multitude of other options. This goes for Ergo as well, even though it's a "better" carrier than the BB, there are many other options out there and it's not the best, just the best known alternative.

The situation is better now, for years the choice of "slings" in brick and mortar shops was either the Bjorn or those awful bag/pouch slings which really were horribly dangerous and very uncomfortable as well. It's a shame if people think these kinds of products are the only option, because babywearing is such a versatile tool that I think everyone who wants it should have access to it. So the popularity of the BB is frustrating because people try it, thinking "This is a sling" and don't like it and decide they don't like slings, when really, they just didn't like the BB.

The original article of this has been taken offline, but this is some information about "bag slings" which have been banned now as several babies died when their parents used them. I wonder if this was the kind of sling that MNer was using as I remember a lot of complaints about them which thankfully didn't lead to deaths but did seem to get worryingly close.

baby-carrier.blogspot.de/2008/01/draft-babywearing-safety-bag-slings.html

I agree paulweller , the term "baby wearing" is vile

My friend started 'baby wearing' with her dd2. It was like she had joined a bloody cult! She is obsessed, she goes to a sling library and meets, posts endlessly on facebook. She doesn't stop talking about it.

A group of us went for breakfast, she saw a random also using a sling, they got chatting and she completely ditched us.

Her child is now 3 and has absolutely no sense of safety when the poor girl is actually allowed to walk. It's so extreme with her, it's like the body snatchers have got her.

I love to see babies carried on backs, they always look so content. Not sure it's right for newborns though?

I tried so hard to get my DS to settle in a sling but he bloody hated it. I tried four different slings. The only one he'd settle in was a 'bad' Mothercare own-brand carrier. His legs would be dangling but he'd finally fall asleep in it!

Ergobaby 360 all the way. Great and correct hip and baby support

Another one with a BabyBjorn One and you can carry your child in the froggy position.

This is a pic from the booket that came with it.

What on earth is a sling library? Do you borrow slings and then return them?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties My son preferred being carried by my 6f5 partner so that may be true!

I remember I got the TICKS thing from my surestart and they had at least a rough idea how to do it.

DS slipped lower on occasion but I needed a bench or something to retie the carrie and I live in an area where they are hardly any. In all fairness, carriers were and are a bad idea as I have both sciatica and a hip wrecked by SPD, but newborn DS was determined to cripple me.

i carry both my babys at once one on the back and one on my front. people look at me like im weird dont really care. saves so much stress on the bus. i dont take much notice how others carry their babys.

it would not bother me if someone suggested things to me. but it does bug me if people say my kids are cold.

Cheshire I have a theory that babies love being up high and facing forward, they obviously think they're walking around like a giant, looking down with pity at babies in buggies 6ft below .

I've been carrying my newborn in a BB. She's a chunky monkey so meets weight requirements and I follow the instructions. I find it easier than a pram when I've got DD1 with me as I've got two free hands for toddler wrangling. If DD1 is at nursery or if DH is with us then I use the pram. I like both. I'm not confident enough to use a sling though.

In all seriousness I think they like being able to have a nose at what is going on.

I can't believe that some people are being so disapproving of babies being carried while the parent keeps his or her arms free!

I'm now really worried I've been carrying my four month old wrong- she seems quite low down is this a really big problem? I would be grateful if someone pointed out I was doing it wrong as long as it was helpful and not just snotty!

The primary issues with them being low are I think 1. You don't have a good enough view of them in case their breathing gets compromised and 2. They might not have enough support.
Just wanted to add I don't have an issue with anyone choosing to sling or baby carrier their baby, just I worry when it looks unstable or compromising.
And for the person who asked, yes lots of clothing on a sling covered baby.

You can carry a newborn on your back but you need to know what you're doing as it's not easy to swing them up there. Everyone I've known who's managed it it's been with their second or subsequent child and they've practised with the first when they were a bit bigger. You can do it with your first child but you need to be coached in how to do it in person by an experienced person.

Snow123 her bum should be higher than your bellybutton and/or she should be close enough that if you bend your head down you can kiss the top of hers without craning.

Snow your baby should be quite high up on your chest (higher than I imagined before using a sling!)-you should be able to nod your head and kiss the top of your baby's head.

Oh yes OP I have quite often wanted to help people fix their slings! There was a woman in Tesco using a stretchy wrap and the baby was barely even in it and the woman was clingy on to her. It was probably not even worth her having the sling on!
I also have a friend who posted a picture of her 8 week old facing out using a close caboo just using the cross over straps, it looked so unsafe, she has now swapped to a baby Bjorn.
Babies facing outwards just looks so uncomfortable for both the parent and the baby, I don't really understand why its so popular!

I love the idea of slings and being closer to baby etc but IMO babywearing does become a bit of an excuse for snobbery. Not just that the blessed things are so expensive themselves but then there's knowing the 'right' people (going to the 'right' places for slingmeets etc) who can make sure you're doing it in the 'right' way. It's so very very special and sooo different from those oooordiary people with their buggies (the horror!). If it's not for you then you're just told 'you're doing it wrong'.
My babies needed so much carrying and holding and I really thought a sling was the answer, but it wasn't. They were both 10lb at birth and got bigger quickly. They were just obviously uncomfortable/too big for the newborn positions, and not supported enough in the toddler holds. I didn't drive then, so getting to a 'slingmeet' wasn't possible. But I'm sure someone is going to tell me I was just doing it wrong!
It's also one of those things that people are 'into', in a very zealous way, that makes you wonder what they do once their kids get too old for it...

my kids have liked the facing forward it does look a bit odd. but my son really love being able to look around. it is comfy to.

my worry when carrying baby(s) in my case is what to dress them in. in the winter because of body heat

Baby wearing is a fucking stupid expression!
If we're talking dangerous procedures though, it's people with toddlers and small children on bicycles in busy traffic. Makes me feel ill to see a wee one strapped onto a bike with cars and buses thundering past.

Does the bum above bellybutton thing still apply when they get a bit bigger? Just 2 year old DS is 2/3 of my height now so he'd have to be doubled over.

NB. I haven't actually carried him for months so it's hard to picture.

I had a BB when DD was first born, I wince when I think of how I used to carry her in it now. I wish someone had told me.

I upgraded to a palm and pond mei tai from about 5 months until just over a year.

I still front carry her in an ergo now at 2.2 years. It raises a few eyebrows but we are both comfy and she can feed in it and nap whilst I shop so I don't care. It helps that she only weighs 24lb still!