AIBU to wince at a lot of baby wearing

[PetalMettle]

Baby wearing seems to have got a lot more popular in the last few years which is obviously potentially a good thing but people don't seem to know the TICKS guidelines. I frequently see children half way down their parents torsos and not properly supported. There was a kid the other day whose feet were wandering around his fathers groin. I always feel like I should say something because potential danger but that I can't. Anyone else have this?

I use my sling all the time, but was shown how to use it properly and follow the guidelines. It's how my baby is happiest- annoyingly, sometimes ;-).

I loved my sling but hate the term baby wearing- it always makes me think people are wearing them on their heads!
I can't watch my friend carrying her premature baby in her baby bjorn carrier- she's just too small for it and it's far too loose, several times I've said 'ooh, watch her' as she's been scrunched up and her head nearly coming out under friends arm. She could so easily fall. I offered her my old sling saying 'I know it's tricky finding one you can use with small babies' (mine were both quite small)but she just said that she was fine with the one she has because it was a bargain.

patriciaholm Baby was definitely crotch dangling - not in froggy pose. Hopefully her physio would have had a word!

I see people all the time at work with those awful Bjorn carriers and the baby is usually facing out and at stomach level and usually dressed in a snowsuit.
They should be banned, a proper structured sling or wrap is much better for baby and the wearer and they shouldn't hurt your back.
I can still comfortably carry my 6 year old in a wrap, as I had to do on the school run when he had chickenpox and I still had to pick up my other DC which he then shared with the other DC

Yes improper wearing bugs me too!
I "toddlerwear" my two dc who are nearly 2.5yrs (almost daily) and just over 3.5yrs. (2-3 times a week)
I use proper ergonomic carriers that support them knee to knee. And it is something we all enjoy. I have no intention of stopping until they are either too heavy or no longer wish to be carried.

Baby was definitely crotch dangling - not in froggy pose. Hopefully her physio would have had a word!

Oh dear! Not good. DD's physio was fine with our Bjorn, but she didn't really fit into it with the harness on so it was a costly waste of a purchase!

I always have to bite my tongue as well! Luckily most people only seem to use them for short spells so not damaging as such... But one particular acquaintance carries her son everywhere in a baby bjorn since birth and takes a gazillion pictures for instagram, all with him dangling by his crotch... am dying to helpfully tell her, but know it wont be welcome!

Wouldn't the baby cry if it was uncomfortable though?

I read an article about a baby who was suffocated accidentally in a baby carrier and it terrifies me when I see babies squished in.
Saw a child yesterday in Tesco hanging out of a sling, head bouncing around, looked so uncomfortable.

The first time I took DS out in the sling (NCT Caboo) a lady in Waitrose stopped me to tell me I had his head in a dangerous position - he'd managed to turn it sideways under one of the straps so I couldn't see his face without moving the strap. I'd read the TICKS guidelines but as it was all so new I wasn't sure about positioning etc. I thanked her rather than punching her, and I'm better with the sling now!

Can understand the fear that other people might not respond as nicely as me though.

I remember saying to DP "close enough to kiss!" constantly as he usually wore DS wrong.

We had a Baby Bjorn and the health visitors were fine with it. If there was a next time I'd look at the Ergobaby which looks more comfortable and froggy legged.

Baby in slings make me nervous i saw a baby in what i would call a scarf falling down its mums body it just puts my heart in my mouth tbh and i have visions of them tripping and landing on the baby so glad mine were in prams

I can see your point and I wouldn't be angry if you pointed out I carry my baby incorrectly but I would probably just say thanks and then ignore you. I carry 6 month old facing outwards in a baby Bjorn 😳

I didn't actually know about ticks but she likes facing out and I only do it for 20 mins once a week whilst shopping (only way she doesn't scream and i can easily shop) so I don't think it would be damaging.

But 'Oh, poor babies in prams' would be judgey

It looks awful, but what can you say. This is another example of the lack of support and guidance for young mothers in this country. You pop the baby, then you are sent home and good luck to you. If you compare with other countries with private rooms, and the hospital stuff showing you how to bath babies, feed them, carry them, followed by monthly appointments with a pediatrician. At best here, you can check your baby's weight in a crowded room with waiting mothers tutting if you take too long to undress and dress the baby. Our country is frightening .

There used to be little credit card sized downloads you can get with the TICKS guidelines on, so you could hand them out. I wonder if they are still around? It might still feel too interfering for most Brits but if you do it in a friendly way like "I love your sling! Hey this really helped me." it might be okay.

I once watched a lady lean forward and literally chuck her new baby on her back and she tied a shawl around the two of them. She even shimmied him down her back (without using her hands) to get him in the right place and then just carried on shopping.

He did actually looked snug and secure but my face was like

I was told by someone I was carrying ds wrong as was eternally grateful. I've since told (gently) four people what they were doing wasn't safe and they all took it extremely well and I'm now very good friends with two of them.

I hate a know it all as much as the next person but I terms of this and car seats I'd rather say something.

I just need to clarify that I have no issue with safe baby wearing/carrying, just the unsafe carrying you sometimes see and wince at, as OP says. I would hate this to turn into prams vs slings - I use both and most people I know do.

*staff

I really don't like seeing outward facing babies, especially in a baby bjorn type. (Although when I first had my first I tried that myself as I didn't know an better). There's a huge difference between being huggled close to the body in a natural way and being "hung" . I'd personally rather see babies free to wriggle in a buggy than forward facing on a sling.

I did love the inward facing slings/ on my back though and used those mostly with my 2.

Wouldn't the baby cry if it was uncomfortable though?

Not necessarily - first it's not about comfort, unsafe babywearing isn't necessarily uncomfortable for the baby, and secondly lots of people use slings because their baby is fussy - so they wouldn't necessarily differentiate an "I'm not in right!" cry from a general "Everything is wrong! Help! I'm a baby!" cry and they might well settle as you get moving.

Oh and to agree with OP, yes it makes me wince to see babies front dangling I'd never say anything!!

I once saw two people within an hour of each other carrying wrong. The first I was too British to say anything. Second I manned up and told them, gently and carefully, how they should be carrying. They were grateful for the advice and I helped them to adjust the carrier.

I hate those bjorn carriers though, they don't look very supportive for small/younger babies at all. OH splashed out on a MountainBuggy carrier (despite my suggestion that we go for something a little less expensive) and I'm so glad he did because it's so flipping comfortable for me and DD.