AIBU to wince at a lot of baby wearing

[PetalMettle]

Baby wearing seems to have got a lot more popular in the last few years which is obviously potentially a good thing but people don't seem to know the TICKS guidelines. I frequently see children half way down their parents torsos and not properly supported. There was a kid the other day whose feet were wandering around his fathers groin. I always feel like I should say something because potential danger but that I can't. Anyone else have this?

It's the endless FB selfies of grinning mother and totally scrunched up fully able to walk child that get me

What's wrong with carrying a child who is able to walk? Just because they can walk doesn't mean they can walk far. And plenty of people use buggys to age 3/4, it's exactly the same thing. I still carry my 3.5yo on my back on big days out. Last time I did this she had already walked 4 miles and was tired. But she can walk, so, should I not have been carrying her?

I also carry her when we need to get places fast. She has little legs. She's not a speed walker.

I loved my Baby Bjorn but I think I'll have to get something different to avoid all those cats bum faces on the school run with my next baby.

Facing forwards is not unsafe. It's not ideal but it's not terrible and it's a parent's own choice. I recommend everyone butts out on that one unless someone is actually asking for advice.

Giving pointers to a stranger on tightness and face covering is actually helpful and more likely to be received better.

Right, I'd never wade in on the forward facing issue. Only ever safety issues.

Is facing forwards still seen as a problem when your carrier has a wide more ergonomic seat?

My babies went through a phase of determinably wanting to face forwards before I felt confident putting them on my back.

They were really frustrated facing inwards and settled immediately when I turned them round. Once they were older i put them on my back, that is quite a big step though. Is that seen as bad?

Thanks for answering my question, Bertie, baby wearing wasn't a trend when mine were little. I actually felt like I'd carried them for 9 months so didn't want to strap them back onto my front once they were born.

I often wonder what babies are thinking in the forward facing carriers, "Wow, I can walk around, and I'm really tall!" only to be disappointed when they're lifted out.

It's the endless FB selfies of grinning mother and totally scrunched up fully able to walk child that get me

But a child can be a great walker and still get tired, be unwell, be too slow. Lots of parents carry their child on their shoulders in these circumstances- why not use a sling and then you have your hands free?

If the child isn't enjoying the sling ride they will soon let the parent know.

I saw someone on the train this morning with their baby in one of the stretchy wraps.... She had it wound really tight, and completely over the baby's entire head and face it made the baby looked like a tightly cling filmed roast chicken, and surely can't have been safe.

I love using slings and carriers, but was secretly hoping this was a thread about annoying mums 'babywearing' 4yo walking-talking-fighting children!

Well, actually it can be safe like that, that's quite a common position for very little babies because of course they can't support their necks. They will have their face turned sideways inside the wrap and a pocket of air so they will be OK. It needs to be tight to support them properly.

But this is why it's quite difficult because what looks safe/unsafe isn't necessarily the same as what is. It's important if you're using a less structured type of carrier to research how to use it and what are the safe positions, and perhaps this isn't always passed on.

To the poster who said about the babies on the back ... That is very common round here - the mothers I know are from different parts of the continent of Africa so maybe that is way they have been shown? Different cultures do different things.

Also someone said about overheating - if the baby is on you then they are gaining some heat from you especially if you have a big coat that goes round?

Not all baby bjorns are crotch danglers. I have the "ONE" and it's great, very comfy. The bog standard original one is very uncomfortable to wear for long though.

YANBU. I'm terrible for checking out every person I see with a sling and judging how safe they look. I have got as far as mentioning to one person who was using a freebie second-hand Bjorn that they are a bit shit but I was still terribly polite about it!

Having said that she now has a new Bjorn and the design does seem much better so I might have to stop my instant judgement of anyone using one

Someone I know who sells slings told me when I was pregnant that she felt sad for my baby because I didn't want a sling

I did see a dad walking around proudly with his baby in front facing carrier. Unfortunately he didn't realise the baby had been sick all down the front and down his trousers.

I've seen so many recently really really low down (like head nearly under line of breasts!). Can't say anything but is so unsafe.

Also someone recently wearing their baby in a sling that was obviously too loose, so much so she was still supporting the baby.

I love baby wearing, but I know what you mean OP.

Corabell that sounds interesting, I must check it out.

None of the Baby Bjorn haters I've met have been able to share any actual scientific clinical evidence on the subject and have directed me towards blogs written by chiropractors so I'm none the wiser really.

Tea this model holds the baby's legs in the froggy position as it has a wider base. It can also be used as a back carrier for older children. So far I'm happy with it and I don't think anyone would be horrified at the way I carry the baby in it.

With the BB 'one'they have obviously listened and designed a hip healthy midel - It's the older models that are not hip healthy.

This may help explain why teainbed
hipdysplasia.org/developmental-dysplasia-of-the-hip/prevention/baby-carriers-seats-and-other-equipment/

*model

Yes I get the theory but articles like those provide no references to any clinical studies.

Apologies have derailed OPs thread. I shall leave it there.

Bertie, I know what you mean but it wasn't like that, it was properly over the baby's head and face super-tight.

You don't need to judge people using a baby bjorn. Seriously. It just makes you look/sound like a prick. It makes sense to recommend something else or explain why they aren't well designed if someone is actually asking for advice, but there's no need to berate someone's choice (even privately) after they've already made it. That's just pointless not to mention nasty.

Oh no. They are using a popular and widely available and safety tested brand of baby product

Oh, OK. Maybe they took the safety advice a bit too seriously

I help run a sling library. If I can I will start up a dialogue with the parent or caregiver about using wraps or carriers and will offer small tips to help tweak their carry to make it more comfortable for themselves as well as their baby. If short on time I will sign post them to a sling library nearby or a few good websites.

Personally, I hate the term 'crotch danglers' they are still carrying their baby and getting the same pleasure from doing it as those using more ergonomic carriers. Though they will perhaps be more uncomfortable and will generally stop carrying sooner.

I am a firm believer of 'do the best that you can, until you know better, then you can do better'