Be absolutely honest. If you could do it all again, would you have had kids ?

[Pisssssedofff]

I'll answer later.

Yes. But maybe a bit later in life.

I had DD (2.8) at 24. I left uni, got married to DH, worked a crappy job for a bit, then had her. DH and I didn't get much time to save or be married before she arrived. But then again we've been together since we were 16, lived together since 18. We wanted to TTC as soon as we could because of my PCOS (wasn't expecting it to happen so quickly!). I love DD to the ends of the earth, even though she can be very hard work and the newborn days were horrendous.

My main regret is not working properly between uni and DD. I couldn't find a proper job and then found out I was pregnant, then became a SAHM. I have little work experience and, tbh, little life experience. When she starts preschool next year I'm going to struggle to find work.

Yes, but I'd have more fun, taken more risks and travelled more before I had them.

Yes but I'm not going to lie; I miss having freedom and I wish I'd taken advantage of it more when I'd had the chance.

I miss being a spoilt, bratty, hedonistic party girl

But they bring me an obscene level of joy every day. Not all day. But every day.

Yes, I wish I could have more.

I love my DS very much, but no.

Yes we went through years of infertility and now have 3 year old DD. I would love to have more but can't afford more like vf sny time soon.

Yes, absolutely, I have five aged 29 to 13 would love to do it all over again I'd probably have one more next time though.

Poshsausage I'm so sorry you're feeling so low.

Yes absolutely. I do find it very tiring, hard and stressful but also lovely, rewarding and fun.

I've got two and looking at how quickly my eldest is growing up I think I shouldn't sweat the small stuff and treasure it.

Yes defiantly although the fear when they are poorly is terrifying and the sadness when they are not happy is awful.

Yes, but I'd have waited until I was older and making more money.

Yes, most definitely. Never regretted them for 1 second.

Yes absolutely but I wish having children hadn't come with PND and serious illness (cancer) in my youngest child along the way.

Yes, without a doubt.

I'd have at least one more if I could do it all again.

Yes but I am glad I stopped at two. Another teenager going through the early teenage years would have finished us off.
Also glad we had them after we had done loads of couple holidays, traveling to interesting places and we were in a good place financially.

Yes.

Sorry aliceinunderpants, I imagine that's very difficult to deal with.

Yes, but not 5. It's too hard.

Yes , Yes , Yes!
Harder work than I thought but absolutely .
And now I have gc too and another on the way --love it

Definitely yes. My life feels so much richer than it did before.

Having said that, I have just returned to work after my second round of maternity leave and I'm loving being away from the family for two days a week, and away from all the noise. It's nice to miss them.

Oh yes, that's not so say it hasn't been hard but I wouldn't change it for anything. If I was younger (and my last pregnancy hadn't been so difficult) I'd think about number 4 too.

I think I'll have to let you know in a year or so. Dh and I had a great marriage. Did loads for other people. Had a rich social life. Loved being with each other. I wasn't sure about kids and wasn't optimistic about the world's prospects or direction. We had lots of disposable income, and it was great. Dh wanted kids and I agreed. We then had MCs and then fertility problems for three hard years. It removed the passion and made me feel like a science experiment. We finally had DS and I had PND. Everything about me I'd built up over a successful career and things I cared about were no longer relevant. I was anxious and guilty of not feeling overjoyed after all we'd been through. Worse, everything I loved and admired about dh was no longer relevant as a parent and it played up his less attractive traits like being practically incompetent and built up a situation where I felt like a mother of two. Dh was v willing but I was hugely resentful of how impractical he was. There was no airtime for his good traits. My income dropped while I was off work (self employed). Our marriage suffered hugely. My libido disappeared. We were just seeing light at the end of the tunnel when we conceived DS2 by some immaculate miracle. I saw a Mental health nurse during the pregnancy about the marriage. Sleep deprivation brings out the worst in me and I tend to be sarcastic and cold and frankly not fun to be around. Dh tends to withdraw and keep his head down which I find deeply irritating as well. DS2 was a lot easier for me and he's just turned 1. Dh and I are just on hold. We try to manage sleep and are just existing at the moment. I know it's best for the kids for us to have a good marriage, but the ways of doing that like going out and seeing friends are often not worth it for the 5am wake up and resulting fatigue. I just want the DSs to get past the really needy point so I can have some capacity to focus on the marriage again. I can't read the news anymore and have to turn off stuff about refugees and feel like I have absolutely no capacity for a wider perspective than my own kids and their needs, then some time for me, and then occasionally DH. It's not anything like the person I used to be.

Ds1 is finally interesting to be around at 3.6. Ds2 is easier because ds1 is also there. I love them both more than I imagined but there's the tension of guilt and anxiety as well. Dh deserves better than the scraps of my love.

So yeah. Woah it feels good to get it down. I'll let you know in a year or so.

yes. I wish we started earlier but am 34 so still got a few years hopefully to have another 2.