Be absolutely honest. If you could do it all again, would you have had kids ?

[Pisssssedofff]

I'll answer later.

Probably, but I wish I hadn't spent my entire adult life (so far) doing it. I had my 1st at 17 and wasn't in a position to have another until 30 (& 32). No career (just a job), no pension & no medals! It's meant I have always been in the position in my relationship.

Weaker position

Yes but maybe wish we had only had one

Yes, but (I had my first at 24) I would wait 3 or 4 years and get a bit more established at work, have some really good holidays and build up savings so we didn't have to stress about money quite as much in the early years.

I would also have slightly longer age gaps.

That's looking back with what I know now though. At the time I was so desperately broody and maternal that waiting any longer (by choice) would have done my head in! I also hated my job and couldn't wait to pack it in and become a SAHM!

Also, I wish, when I agreed to marry DH, I'd sat him down and explained that I was actually serious about wanting at least four children and properly had the conversation then instead of him being all surprised when I suggested starting to try for number three and acting as if I'd never mentioned it before :(

I don't regret them at ALL.

But, it was a long hard IVF road.

My health deteriorated in my 1st pg . 13 years later and still on crutches it's not been what I expected.

But I love them deeply. it is such a privilege to watch two people form.

Absolutely. If I hadn't had mine so late I'd have loved more than two, being a mum means the world to me which is amazing when I think that when I was 30 it was the last thing on my mind.

Yes, in a heartbeat

Yes, definitely. If we could actually have our time again, we would have started trying for baby no.2 a lot earlier, as DD is almost 3 and I'm still not pregnant after a year of trying.

No. I didn't find out about certain hereditary disorders in my family until after giving birth. Now my DS has to deal with that and I'd rather not have put him through it.

Yes a million times over! Expecting DC4 and have some concerns and worries that maybe we should have stopped at 3. I started at 30 so had plenty of party days before them. And I sometimes look forward to having my time and money back to myself. But 10-20 years of raising kids isn't huge out of a hopefully 80ish year life and I know when they are grown I will miss them being little (and forget how hard it was at times!)

I don't know.

If I had known I was going to become chronically ill, I'm really not sure. I wouldn't actively choose to have a baby now.

Yes definitely, I love being a mum and I always used to say I never wanted kids. I learnt that you can adore your own while still finding others annoying It's been the making of me.

When DS was 8 weeks old I remember thinking if I could go back knowing what I know about what it's like having kids I would have never become a parent.

It does get easier, happier and more fun and in fact I'm now expecting DC2.

Um! Not the way it ended up.

Yes, I would've with somebody that stood by my side and loves my DS like I do.

Would I change DS being here. No I wouldn't.

But I would be a fool to lie and say it's glorious!

I wouldn't have a second child as I'm not a natural mother (but I try!) - but my DS really has changed my life for the better, a million times over. We just fit together perfectly. Having someone overjoyed to see you every morning is bloody priceless (although he's only four - I imagine waking a teen might be a little different!)

The only thing I'd change is to have fucked off uni and had him in my early twenties. Then, once he was settled at school, I'd have started college and planned a career. As it happens, after uni, I basically pissed about in lots of temping jobs, etc then became pregnant unexpectedly at 36 with no decent job prospects. Starting over at 42 is a whole lot of scary!

Yes and now mine are 18 and 23, I wish we'd had more. We were lucky to have them though.

I'd certainly have had my first child. But I wish I'd stopped at one. Having DC2 has turned our lives upside down. It is what it is, but I wish it wasn't.

(We were hugely ambivalent about having a second child. Wish we could put the clock back and decide differently.)

Yes definitely, but it hasn't been easy or cheap and I daren't think what lifestyle we could have had without them BUT...

I would hate to be where I am now without them. I cannot think of anything worse than getting to old age without your family around you.

nine. Also I should have picked a more appropriate male parent - I didn't think for a minute I'd end up as a single mother (although, with the benefit of hindsight, the clues were there!)

Yes definitely but I think I would have stopped at 2 instead of having 3, although I may change my mind after the toddler years!

NO!

Yes but I would have started 10 years earlier and had 1 or 2 more.

Yes, love them and enjoy all the family stuff immensely. Wouldn't change a thing, even my son's special needs, they're all just wonderful!

No, even though right from when I was a young child I had always wanted to have a child myself one day - right up until she was born (almost 8 years ago).

I have been on medication for depression for ~20 years. My depression has made being a mother very difficult. I am a very good mother but I find it extremely hard and putting on a 'brave face' every day is very wearying. I don't feel I have enough support.

It is comforting (for me) to see that I am not alone and that some other people have also answered 'no'. It is generally not permissable to say you regret having had a child (hence the 'brave face'). Mothers/parents aren't 'supposed' to feel that way.

That is also the reason why I won't have a second child, even though my OH really wants another. It's heartbreaking (like a lose-lose situation) but that's how I feel. And after almost 8 years, I am only just learning not to beat myself up over it.

There are days aren't there when you'd send them back.