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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Be absolutely honest. If you could do it all again, would you have had kids ?

502 replies

Pisssssedofff · 02/11/2016 07:43

I'll answer later.

OP posts:
BearGryllsHasaBigRope · 02/11/2016 08:30

Yes! Absolutely. I adore the very bones of them and I feel so lucky to have my little brood every day. It can be relentlessly hard and I'm definitely no earth mother who is all consumed by her children - in fact I'm quite the opposite. On the whole though I love being a parent and wouldn't trade it for anything.

GoofyTheHero · 02/11/2016 08:30

Yes. I can't imagine never having the pleasure of meeting my 2 children. I am exhausted, skint and my body is a wreck but just knowing them enhances my life.

Turefu · 02/11/2016 08:30

Yes. I wish I had my son earlier . I was 35, I met my DH at 28, then we had some family problems ( both in laws were very sick and died) and then I had two miscarriages. I'm 40 now I it looks like DS will be the only child. He's adorable though :)

Ginslinger · 02/11/2016 08:30

yes - I can't decide if i'd have waited till a bit older and more settled in career or if that would have meant that I wouldn't have had any - but that didn't stop our surprise DC3 Grin

PrincessWizard · 02/11/2016 08:30

Yes, no doubt.

BUT

I wouldn't have had them so young. I was 16 when DD1 was born. Obviously unplanned and far too young. I had DS at 23 and DD2 at 26 and felt far more ready and we were in a much better position (own home/job etc).

PrincessWizard · 02/11/2016 08:31

Yes, no doubt.

BUT

I wouldn't have had them so young. I was 16 when DD1 was born. Obviously unplanned and far too young. I had DS at 23 and DD2 at 26 and felt far more ready and we were in a much better position (own home/job etc).

MsJuniper · 02/11/2016 08:31

Yes, earlier and more than one. It's the biggest regret of my life.

malvinandhobbes · 02/11/2016 08:32

Yes. It is a great pleasure for me to watch them grow. I like all the noise and activity in the house. I am lucky to have a career I like and a pretty good work/home balance which must help a lot.

mayhew · 02/11/2016 08:32

Dd is 23 and I've just been to see her on another continent where she works. She's been the best part of my life since she was born. Only one with many miscarriages. My DH feels the same.

ThisisMrsNicolaHicklin · 02/11/2016 08:32

Yes, completely and totally yes. I had PND and PTSD following DC1's birth and the 'care ' we received. I'm well supported now and recovering and it feels like every day is better than the last, it's lovely watching them grow and finding their personalities. Also it's an excuse to watch My Little PonyGrin

iremembericod · 02/11/2016 08:34

Yes, but I would have chosen my partner better. I did and do pretty much everything for them and only now when I am much older do I realise the work involved in raising children and how I sleptwalked into doing it all at the expense of myself.

The DCs are a joy and much older now, but the sacrifices I made are sometimes a bitter pill to swallow (mainly career) and I know that could have been different if I had had a different partner. If I had been with my current bf, for example, I know it would have been much more joy filled and equal.

DramaInPyjamas · 02/11/2016 08:34

Yes, but I'd do a lot of things better and different.
And I wish they had a different dad to the useless one they have, but then they wouldn't really be them, would they.

HarleyQuinzel · 02/11/2016 08:35

Yes. My family were quite dysfunctional growing up and although things are better now there's still a lot of resentment/arguments. I've desperately wanted a 'proper' family my whole life. I'm pregnant with number 2, I think I'd like 3/4.

beelover · 02/11/2016 08:35

Absolutely yes and I would still choose to have them young.

mrschatty · 02/11/2016 08:36

Yes!!! My dd is 10mo and she's the joy and light of my life. I loves being pregnant and I love being her mum

Pilotress · 02/11/2016 08:36

Placemarking :) No kids yet but window closing.

DearPrudence · 02/11/2016 08:40

Yes, absolutely. I only had one (fertility issues) but would happily have had two more.

Currently mid-teens, and as someone unthread said - each age brings a new joy.

Bountybarsyuk · 02/11/2016 08:42

Yes, children now late primary/early teens, great age, life much more 'back to normal', able to read the paper, watch programmes with them, have fun together. Early years hard work but has definitely got easier for me.

HolgerDanske · 02/11/2016 08:43

No, I wouldn't.

I no longer believe that the good in humanity justifies the ongoing darker underbelly.

I regret burdening my children with life, and I regret perpetuating humanity's existence.

stonecircle · 02/11/2016 08:43

Absolutely. Though I wish I'd had my 3 earlier and more spread out (I had them when I was 35, 37 and 39). I sometimes feel I missed my eldest growing up because he only had 1/3 of my attention.

If I'm feeling depressed I do worry if I did the right thing bringing more life into my the world though.

And I must admit it very occasionally crosses my mind how wealthy we would have been without kids!

Yakitori · 02/11/2016 08:44

I wouldn't change a thing.

NataliaOsipova · 02/11/2016 08:46

Yes! It is, without doubt, the most rewarding and worthwhile thing I've ever done (and I'm a long way away from the earth mother type, so that has surprised me!).

ohtheholidays · 02/11/2016 08:47

Yes I would but I'd do things so differently though.

We have 5DC and 2 of our DC are disabled and I became disabled after having our 5th DC.

If I could go back though I would and I'd kick off and ask for a decent midwife instead of the Arsehole on a power trip that I had who had no idea what she was doing and played a hand in my DD and me becoming disabled,because of the mistakes she made whilst I was in labour and when I delivered my DD.

I know if it wasn't for my DC I probably wouldn't still be here to be honest(crap childhood and early adulthood)I live for them,they're all growing up to be amazing young people and I've learnt so much because of them,I've done and seen amazing things that I more than likely wouldn't have done if it hadn't been for becoming a Mother,I've met so many nice people because of being they're Mum as well.

it's been very true for me that I could never imagine how much I'd love someone or how much I'd just enjoy being with someone for hours on end until I had my children.

Our DC are DS20,DS18,DS15,DD13,DD9.it won't be for years to come yet but I do look forward to watching them being parents and Uncles and Aunties to each other's DC in the future.

paddypants13 · 02/11/2016 08:47

Yes. In fact I'd like another. Mine are 3 and 1 and some days are bloody awful and others are mind numbing but I wouldn't change because some days and moments are filled with utter joy and wonder. They are amazing little people.

sparkle789 · 02/11/2016 08:48

Yes I would but I would have my first later than I did and have them closer together in age.