Be absolutely honest. If you could do it all again, would you have had kids ?

[Pisssssedofff]

I'll answer later.

Nope. They are lovely, and I love them , but I could have done so much more, and I wish I had done.

Yes - I have absolutely no regrets and love my life. I feel like we have the right balance. Becoming a mum 6 years ago was like an awakening - suddenly this tired old world seemed more magical again, worth fighting for. I am probably the opposite of Holger in this respect. Sure there have been challenges, but I feel much more rounded as an individual and have also become more successful in my career and relationships with others. It's been wholly positive.

Yes definitely.

That doesn't mean everything is perfect. Like someone else said there are some days where I just think "OMG why is this so HARD" (although there are other days which are amazing).

I believe it's easy to think the grass is greener and imagine a childfree life as some kind of utopia full of wonderful holidays, eating out, shopping, etc etc. Childfree people still have to go to work, pay bills, face the daily grind. I'm not convinced a childfree life would be better for me overall. Some parts would be better for sure, but some (more) parts would be worse I think.

Honestly? I find parenting a struggle, I really miss "me" time and I'm permanently skint. My sons father is useless and I'm doing it all on my own - some days I feel like I'm barely keeping us afloat.

But I wouldn't be without him. He gave me a reason to get up everyday and try, and I love him more than I knew was possible before I had kids. He's the best. So yes, despite it all I'd do it over again in a heartbeat.

Yes, absolutely I would. My sons are 19 and nearly 16 and they are the lights of my life.
We lost dh nearly 13 years ago, and it's been hard at times, but having them helped me through and gave me a bloody good reason to get up in the morning. They are growing into fantastic young men - in their own, very different ways - and I'm incredibly proud of them both.

Yes. After years of an appalling dysfunctional childhood and 'family', it was an absolute joy to be able to create a little family of my own, knowing I will never subject my children to the kind of life I had, and loving them and DH to distraction. The only thing I'd do different is, I'd try to have two more, think I've left it too late , sadly.

I'm not sure. I love the very bones of DS, he is the centre of my world and he was a much desired after a couple of years of trying and MC BUT..... I didn't know his father would change his mind after 6 months and leave us without a word nor that he would reappear 14 years later and expect to be welcomed back and assume his rightful position as father of the year.

Basically I would have DS again in a heartbeat but I feel like I cocked up my choice of Dad so maybe I wouldn't as I can't bear the hurt that mistake causes the poor little chap.

Yes but I'd have had them later.

I had DS1 at 21 and although I found being a mum easy and enjoyable I look back at that time and think about the things I missed out on.

I wish I'd got settled in a decent job first, I wish I'd experienced a lovely holiday abroad, I wish I'd learnt to drive.

I spent my twenties and early thirties partying, travelling, building a career and being utterly selfish.

So by the time I had my first at 33 I was totally ready for parenthood, we were comfortable with money, etc.

I could never have imagined how much I would love my children. I'm obsessed and adore them.

If money and space were no object I would have as many as I was able!

Without a doubt yes. I just wish I'd done it 10yrs earlier, and I never wanted kids.

DD is only 1, so the more challenging bits are yet to come, but couldn't be without her for a day, even leaving her to go to work is hard!

However, this made me sigh: "a spoilt hedonistic prattish traveller party girl" - man, if I could have another 10 years being that, and then have my DP and DD, I'd bite your arm off! considers faustian pact

Yes, although I have missed having a social life, and I'm strangely not a mumsy kind of person. I say "strangely" as I have 5 kids.

Am glad I had them later in life as well as in my mid 50s still have 2 teens at home and life would be empty without them. Whilst my peers are obsessing about having grandkids, I still have kids, and I prefer that as I'm not ready to be nailed down, yet.

Also think I took the right decision having them slightly later (First when I was nearly 30, and the last when I was 42). As I had a life first.

I have a number of friends/relatives who married young, had babies young, thinking they'd get the nappie, exhaustion etc over with then go back to having a life of their own in their 40s - and for all of them, history repeated itself and their kids had kids young - so they went straight from being parents to being grandparents with no time for themselves inbetween, and in a couple of cases were even left holding the (grand) baby, at points because their kids couldn't cope with being parents, fully, yet.

My kids are well mannered, friendly, and kind young men and I think I wouldn't have had the maturity to turn them into the people they are, when I was younger (plenty of other people can and do, but I couldn't have).

I still don't define myself by my kids, or have Disneyesque thoughts that it is the best thing I ever did. It's a thing I did and did well. But I still have a life to live, separate from the fact I was/am a good mother and I think it's a mistake to live your life vicariously through your kids or grand-kids.

There were times I regretted having kids, as well, let's be honest. When I was vomited all over at 2AM and had to wash sick out of my hair (an emetophobe) with cold water... That was one.

Yes, And I would have started at just the age I did, just after 30. That worked well for me. I wouldn't have been ready earlier. If I'd started younger, I would have muddled through and been moderately happy, but I would have always wondered if I'd missed out on having enough fun and freedom pre-kids.

Possibly not.
Certainly not the second.

Yes absolutely. Mine are now officially adult and their Dad has been a compete waste of space for much of that time. I have found parenthood to be unequivocally the toughest thing I have done at times (I know some people would argue with me on that, I've seen it before, but I can only speak about my experiences in life), but the last six years since I got free of ex have been so utterly rewarding and my connection to my children is so strong, I would go through every tough time again to have this relationship with these two people, even in the knowledge that it is transitory and they will be moving on and most probably away.

One of the best things I ever did.

This kid ? Have the DS we have all over again ?

Hell yes.

Some other kid from another egg/sperm combo ?

Nope.

DS is worth it all and then some, because it's him. I wouldn't do it all again for some random kid DH & I made, but don't know yet.

Yes.

If you'd have asked me 3 months ago I'd have said no. I think I had PND. I'm starting to feel a lot more positive and enjoying being a mother a little bit. For the first 4 months I wanted to run run run.

Yes, absolutely. No question. I am no earth mother but I wouldn't want to imagine my life without them. I don't envy anything that child-free people have.

DH and I often ask ourselves how much money we'd have had if we'd never had kids and I'd continued working all these years I've been a SAHM (we are pretty well off anyway and that's on one salary, pay school fees etc) and the answer just doesn't bear thinking about. We'd be flipping loaded. Im just not sure what we'd actually do with it all, if we didn't have the DC though. Surely there are only so many posh holidays you can take?

Yes, but later. I was 24 when we had ds1. Not particularly young I know, but a few years later would definitely have been better.

Yes 100%. I'm glad I spent my twenties doing what I wanted to do and travelling etc so no regrets.

Expecting no.2 now and need to get on and have no.3 soon due to fertility, I wish this wasn't the case and I could have had 3 years in between each.

Yes. They are my world.

No. I worry too much about their futures :/

No, I wouldn't. I've since found out I have genetic conditions that at least one of them is already showing signs of at 8

It's so difficult. Yes to having my wonderful DC, but not with XP - but it doesn't work like that!

I wish I'd had the strength and self-esteem to understand my relationship with him and what he was really like, and walked away when I was a lot younger. But I can't unwish my DC. But then that's selfish, because as it is they have had to go through us having rows and splitting up.

I do now think I would have had an OK life without DC - but if I hadn't had them I would have spent my life wishing I had. Complicated!

And I would have started at just the age I did, just after 30

This worked well for me too. I got all my hedonism out of the way in my 20s and by the time I had ds1 are 32 I really didn't feel I was missing out on anything. Also, the way we've raised him has enhanced our lives - we've not stopped doing things, just modified how we do them. I'm also under no illusions that the reason my career hasn't suffered is because I have an amazingly supportive dh who is a great dad. I don't remember being this happy and fulfilled before children.