Be absolutely honest. If you could do it all again, would you have had kids ?

[Pisssssedofff]

I'll answer later.

• would never have got pregnant.

user1478260362 - it sounds like you might have postnatal depression. You should ask your GP for help. It does get a lot easier as they get older, but if you've got hormonal stuff messing with your ability to enjoy it too, it's like utter hell. Fuck dealing with that. Please ask for some help.

Pisssssedoff She is a delight at school- although she had her moments in preschool/nursery (threw a chair and a shoe at a teacher) she saves all the horror for us!

Perfectly happy to be married to DH & 2 lovely DDs. I swing between feeling very lucky to wishing I had stayed single. just missing a few things that come with it. Am sure if my wish were granted I'd miss my kids & DH far more!

User, I used to feel like that, including the accident stuff - except I used to hope we would both be killed. I was really ill and I've got a load better.

Please see your doctor.

Huckleberry I have a friend whose daughter also is a delight at school but kicks off massively at home she was diagnosed with PDA (pathological demand avoidance) look it up it may be interesting.

User sounds like you need help, there are some brilliant parent lead charities out there for you to sound off too and help you get past this. Look after yourself first and foremost you won't be the first to feel like this just get the help you deserve.

user1478260362
How old is your son ? I felt that way when my eldest was about 9 months, as she got more independent things got better ... Have a 🍾 Rather than crapoy flowers x

Without a single doubt yes. Wish I'd started younger though, possibly would have avoided all the fertility issues.

No; would have gone thru with original plan to get sterilised at age 22, actually.

Marriage was probably a bigger mistake, though

Problem is that if I never had kids I'd probably be moping about it (in my ignorance).
Daft to dwell on anything that can't be changed.

User1478 - I do remember having first child and being a parent of 'only' 1. I couldnt wait to go back to work when he was 3 months old. (His dad was able to look after him so didnt have childcare worries). I had a desk, lunch hour computer phone other adults to talk to... I wore nice clothes and could go back to being just me. Give it time x

Yes, wish my gap was not so big and i had 4 or 5. I have 2 and a 10 year gap.

User24782.... why don't you let his dad bring him up for awhile you may feel differently with a break from him?

At the moment probably not

But generally that's a gauge of how tough things are and how badly I am coping (and how much more support I need). There are lots of other times I would have answered yes.

Two with asd/pda/adhd and other disabilities here too. It is hard, especially hard for them & watching how much I fail them, but then I share some of their disabilities and I grew up stronger for it so I try to focus on that.

No, 1st and only child has a rare genetic disorder and is disabled and very hard work. It wasn't how it was supposed to be. Miscarried a second, also genetic issue. It sucks. I love him, but I will never ever get my life back.

Oh and just to clarify, they are amazing and I would never change them, and how hard it is for us isn't the problem either (despite having our bones broken and more) but it feels like I have done a really cruel thing to them to pass on these genes and bring them into a world where disablism is a socially acceptable norm. It often feels like such a huge trick to have played on people I love so overwhelmingly.

User1478260362 please see your doctor. Don't be afraid. You sound poorly. Please just go to your doctor and tell them how you feel. I promise if you do, in time you will feel completely different. Don't suffer like this. Nobody should have to feel this way.

Stanleysmum01

Just read up on PDA and it sounds so much like DD!

Just wanted to point out that unfortunately not all areas recognise PDA as a diagnosis. We are having huge problems with DC2, and her behavious fits the criteria (as even CAMHS have admitted) but it's "not something they diagnose here"

They don't diagose pda in many areas, ask for an out of area referall to one of the few centres that do diagnose

Yes without hesitation .They are the best thing that ever happended to me and have brought me great joy
Mine are grown up .I had them quite late in life and had done a lot of the things I wanted to do
We are now retired and have the freedom (and resources)to do the travelling, theatre going etc we couldn't afford when they were young

Most certainly I would. She's the one thing in my life I'd never regret.

Yes a million percent. They have changed my life and give me something to live for. Ive struggled with depression most of my life but now i feel i have a calling in life. I love being a mum and they really are the best choices i ever made. I wish i would of had them slightly younger

Simple answer is yes. Despite having an amazing partner I know that I would feel empty and rather lonely without my children. Life would be easier sure, but an easy life to me equates to a boring one.

Probably not . Another one with delights at school but out of control at home. I've been told it's my fault.

Sometimes we have fun but the fighting, destruction and chaos can be dreadful at times.

Huckleberry glad you looked it up, and I agree with ChangingNames no it isn't recognised everywhere my friend paid privately for a diagnosis but it helped to get to know her daughter even to get her cooperating to do things just by asking differently. She does sensory circuits at school especially at the end of the day to tame the aggression/anxiety at home. Some days it works some days it doesn't.

I'm in the queue awaiting assessment with my 5 year old but I try and read all the books out there on any sensory issues, the school can refer to see an OT even if its to do a course, I took one of the TA's with me. There are parent carer run charities with free advice, I go to an ASD/ADHD group who help even just to talk. 18 months ago I just thought my son was quirky and no idea what a sensory circuit was

Megleth it's not your parenting that's the GP fob off, I took my son to a different g.p after I was faced with that, it's I'm afraid a battle through the process and I'm only just starting. It's not easy but I understand my son more and I wouldn't change him, through the meltdowns and anxiety he's the funniest person I know.