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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Be absolutely honest. If you could do it all again, would you have had kids ?

502 replies

Pisssssedofff · 02/11/2016 07:43

I'll answer later.

OP posts:
oblada · 03/11/2016 21:32

I would have kids everytime. I (and OH) created people I/we love being around - what's there not to like?
They are still young but wouldn't want a life without them. Bar serious traumas I really cannot understand anyone regretting having children.

I think I had them at the right age. Loving it now. Hoping to be able to have some good years travelling with the OH when we are older but if it doesn't happen well that's OK. Kids are more important. No job or life ambition comes close to that in my view.

Jessikita · 03/11/2016 21:35

Yes. But I'd have only had one child. Much easier to cope with, holidays everything less expensive.

bookworm14 · 03/11/2016 21:36

Yes, absolutely (although DD is only 14m so I'm sure the hardest parts are to come).

clumsyduck · 03/11/2016 21:39

Yes !! And ds wasn't planned .
I just hope I get the chance to have more not happened so far .

I just sometimes wish it had been different circumstances rather than pregnant by stupid wanker ex so I would have been more settled and that I could have had siblings for ds close in age and a more settled family life but I still wouldn't change how it has all worked out

Purplebluebird · 03/11/2016 21:42

I feel like the shittiest mum on earth, so no I probably would not. My child deserves better than me.

LowMaintenance101 · 03/11/2016 21:42

Haven't read the full thread but definitely yes. I always thought I wanted 2 kids. If it hadn't took us so long to conceive we would have had another. But now we have DD I'm not sure if I could have actually coped with 2 in real life. I think I might have turned into the stressed out monster that I remember my Mum being a lot of the time.

mudandmayhem01 · 03/11/2016 21:48

I love everything about having kids, but I am horrified at the world I have brought them into, environmental catastrophe, brexit and increasing xenophobia, Donald trump... I am scared for their future and I was responsible for bringing them into this world.

Mrsbclinton · 03/11/2016 21:49

yes x a million

Threepumpkins · 03/11/2016 21:50

Yes, but with hindsight I would have left my exH after 2 years rather than 15 and hopefully found someone else to have DC with

clmustard · 03/11/2016 21:51

Not a shadow of a doubt. Dd is the best thing in my life and she makes me laugh and smile every day even if I am down or moany.

clmustard · 03/11/2016 21:52

I know this is somewhat contradictory to my being given very excited about having a day on my own but being glad for a day out doesn't mean I love my family any less. It is a recharge of my battery so I can give them my all again

ChangelingToday · 03/11/2016 21:59

Yes but I'd have waited a year, got pregnant a month after our wedding and we'd not lived together before, so it would have been nice to have that first year setting into married life.

chocolateworshipper · 03/11/2016 22:00

No. It would be very interesting to split the 'no's and 'yes's into age groups. I bet there are more 'no's from those of us with teenagers! I hope I change my mind when they have left home.

nonameqt · 03/11/2016 22:01

Absolutely not. I'd never planned on having any.

expatinscotland · 03/11/2016 22:02

I'm a no. Why? My DD1 developed a rare form of leukaemia when she was 8. She suffered horrifically and died less than 8 months later. My DS has autism. It's ruining what is left of our lives, including DD2's. So no, I wouldn't have had any of them or any kids at all. If I could go back in time, I'd have stayed with my ex who never wanted kids.

SalemSaberhagen · 03/11/2016 22:03

Why purple? What's made you feel that way? Flowers

SalemSaberhagen · 03/11/2016 22:03

expat Flowers

expatinscotland · 03/11/2016 22:05

Nah, Purple, I am. I had no business having kids, all they do is suffer.

chaseylayne76 · 03/11/2016 22:05

I was told at 19 I had little to no chance of conceiving naturally due to pcos. I was 36 when I finally and very naturally had my little girl. I'm now 40 and would give anything to have more. I adore being a mother. Maybe because I am an older mother, I don't know but I wouldn't do anything different

clumsyduck · 03/11/2016 22:05

expat reading that made me cry Flowers

PterodactylToenails · 03/11/2016 22:08

Of course! I couldn't ever imagine not having children. There have been times when I have missed the freedom to just get up and do what I want but that feeling doesn't last long!

VanellopeVonSchweetz99 · 03/11/2016 22:10

Had you asked me two years ago I would have said no.
Now they are 5 & 7 and it's an absolute yes.

Mistletoekids · 03/11/2016 22:11

Yessss!
Times a billion billion
Noting else compares to being a mum

poppym12 · 03/11/2016 22:14

honestly? No. My son will be an adult next year but I'd say the years since age 13/14 have been hard. Stressful, frustrating, worrying. I love him to bits but the adorable childhood years are a very distant memory.

MistresssIggi · 03/11/2016 22:15

I'd have had twice as many. and married someone richer

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