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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think 4 people can't fit in 2 bed house

283 replies

BananaCakePie · 01/11/2016 11:00

The title explains it all really.

Teenage son in one room,mother,grandmother and teenage daughter sharing a room.

OP posts:
SpunkyMummy · 01/11/2016 12:00

Doesn't in the slightest. Flip it. Grandpa, father, son and daughter. No one would nat an eyelid if it was said that daughter needs her own room.

I'd say to put the 2 teens in one room and the 2 adult males in an other?

SpunkyMummy · 01/11/2016 12:01

Banana

Why don't they contribute to the grandma's lying expenses? Give them the money to be in a 3 bedroom house? (Or a house with 2 sitting rooms)?

SpunkyMummy · 01/11/2016 12:01

living expenses

BananaCakePie · 01/11/2016 12:02

I wasn't expecting anyone to pay for another room,I should of worded this post better. It was more the sleeping arrangements I was concerned about.

OP posts:
starsorwater · 01/11/2016 12:03

Poor girl.
Gran downstairs, awful to sleep with a snorer. Her clothes and stuff in son's room, he shouldn't have it all his own way.

Mum and daughter share, with screen/curtains.

BananaCakePie · 01/11/2016 12:03

The family don't help them at all. I pay for their gas,electric,phone bills etc. SIL works full time but her mother is not able to work.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 01/11/2016 12:04

Only SIL can decide if Gran can live with her- not the extended family. It sounds like it really wouldn't work well, especially if Gran's care needs increase. If she needs help with personal care in the future or her mobility decreases it will add to the strain. Have they considered sheltered accommodation?

SpunkyMummy · 01/11/2016 12:06

banana I'm disgusted by her family. Being a widow means she's more likely to have financial difficulties. It doesn't mean one can expect her to take care of their mother...

I like stars proposal. Granny downstairs, son in the smallest room with grandmother's things in there, mother and daughter in the bigger room.

Kidnapped · 01/11/2016 12:06

"Their side of the family think because SIL is widowed,she can have the grandmother living with them."

Then SIL needs to set the rest of the family straight. She can no longer live with them due to space and money issues. Is her mum even contributing to the rent?

Another sibling needs to step up for a while.

BananaCakePie · 01/11/2016 12:08

The council has said she has to find a private landlord and then they willl consider helping Gran get her own place. They did apply for sheltered housing and she's been on the waiting list for years now.

OP posts:
saoirse31 · 01/11/2016 12:08

Don't get metal frames , v v noisy.... Given circs re son, I wonder would daughter want to share with him in any case...

Justaboy · 01/11/2016 12:09

My parents had to live with their parents around 8 of them in a two bed house when married just after WW 2.

They managed .

Kidnapped · 01/11/2016 12:11

Cross-posted.

You pay for SIL's mum's expenses? Is SIL your husband's sister? Or your deceased brother's widow?

While the rest of the family do/contribute bugger all apart from telling SIL that she has to house this woman?

Not a chance.

Rubies12345 · 01/11/2016 12:11
  1. Two teenagers share one double, get one of those partitions down the middle.
  1. Gran could get one bedroom flat, if she's retired/unemployed she could get HB
Arfarfanarf · 01/11/2016 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CocktailQueen · 01/11/2016 12:12

What happened to gran's old house? Does she have a medical diagnosis? If so, she may be entitled to some benefits. SIL certainly shouldn;t be forced into having her liuve with them if they have no room for her.

Why are you paying all SIL's bills?

The son sounds very entitled. He needs to sort his behavour out and be more considerate of everyone else in therse circumstances.

BananaCakePie · 01/11/2016 12:13

The gran gets £150pw and pays all of that towards rent/living expenses.

The daughter doesn't mind who she shares with. I think the son has to realise he can't always have things his way.
They went from having a room each when my brother(SIL partner) was alive to a 3 bedroom house and now they have to move into a 2bed. The son has gone from having everything and more to not having everything he wants.

OP posts:
Arfarfanarf · 01/11/2016 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rainyinnovember · 01/11/2016 12:13

I feel sorry for everybody to be honest. It doesn't sound very nice at all!

hazelnutlatte · 01/11/2016 12:16

Black

hazelnutlatte · 01/11/2016 12:17

Ignore my previous post please, dd had my phone

Kidnapped · 01/11/2016 12:17

You are so lovely to be contributing to and supporting your brother's family, OP.

SIL's siblings are bloody awful regarding their mother.

NerrSnerr · 01/11/2016 12:18

To be honest I'd be pissed off if I was a teenager whose dad had died and had to move into cramped accommodation. I know you SIL is doing her best but it's a shit situation for all of them.

Kidnapped · 01/11/2016 12:20

Is SIL getting carer's allowance (or whatever it is called) for caring for her mum?

BananaCakePie · 01/11/2016 12:24

Not getting carers allowance.

It's a bad situation but SIL is trying her best,she's at work so much,the kids barley see her and she's still struggling financially. Her DC lost their dad,had to give up riding,dancing,playing instruments,football,a bigger house and her side of the family are not helping at all.

OP posts:
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