To think 4 people can't fit in 2 bed house

[BananaCakePie]

The title explains it all really.

Teenage son in one room,mother,grandmother and teenage daughter sharing a room.

[BarbarianMum]

The clue is in the word widow . And maybe the mum needs to "sort her shit out and start parenting her son" or just maybe she is doing her best in a very difficult circumstances.

[brasty]

And I wish some would read the thread.
It is a difficult situation because if the alternative is a home for the gran, I would understand why the mum would not want that. It doesn't sound like she has any assets, so the only choices are homes that will take people paid for totally by the state, or mainly by the state with a top up from the grans pension. In many places, that does not leave much choice of homes at all.

[BananaCakePie]

Thank you Kirsty,very helpful. I will pass that information on to them

[Redkite10a]

I think you need to consider storage space needs as well as sleeping space needs. How big is the rest of the house? Will you SIL need bedroom space to store household things like towels and sheets or paperwork (bank statements etc)? Does the gran have various bits and pieces of stuff like old photo albums that will need storing?

[KirstyJC]

In my experience, councils need a shove from a social worker or HCP to get on with things. In my area (SW) they are pretty good once you shove them hard enough!

GP can often provide a letter to support any health needs. Also if the gran is living with ill health then it might be worth asking for an OT assessment of her abilities eg activities of living. That can lend strength to the argument that she isn't safe alone, (assuming that is the case). OT can also write to the council to support a move as well but the best bet is starting with SS as they will assess her eligible needs. Then you can work out whether re-housing her is the best way to meet those needs.

[CocktailQueen]

Why doesn't SIL get HB now if she did when her husband was alive? Why have things changed so much financiallly for them? Sorry to be dim - but didn't her husband provide for his family in his will?

[Artandco]

Towels - store in bathroom (1 each)
Sheets - store spare under own beds
Paperwork - there doesn't need to be much nowadays, most online. So one small small basket

If gran pays £600 a month, and your paying bills, it's sounds like they couldn't afford the 2 bedrooms anyway without gran living with them?
Grannhas to get a bedroom to share with mum surely as she's paying a huge chunk living there

How old are the teens? Any chance they can try and get a part time job? £50-100 a week would help surely

Can mum work evenings also? If gran at home there is someone in house with teens and they don't sound like they actually need babysitting.

Does mum work at all?

[brasty]

Sorry to be dim - but didn't her husband provide for his family in his will?

You are assuming the Husband had anything to leave.

[BananaCakePie]

They got HB after he died and then SIL started earning more so no longer entitled. He left no will and his older children from previous relationships were first to get any money they could. They weren't officially married

[BananaCakePie]

He didn't have much before he died either.

[Oswin]

Artandco op said the op is always at work.

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

Read the op's posts at least please!

She's said twice that SIL works full time.

[BananaCakePie]

The teens are 14,one has a paperound to help out but only £25 a week. At least she doesn't have to rely on her mum for cinema tickets etc

[DragonHorse]

I grew up with 6 of us in a 3 bed.

[KirstyJC]

When she was no longer entitled to HB was that as a single adult? And now there is another adult - gran - might they reassess as they now have to house another person on the same wage? It's worth checking maybe? I don't know how it works but maybe gran is entitled to some HB in her name as she obviously incurs housing costs too.

[Artandco]

I think at 14 you just need to all sit down and talk. Explain the situation, and just tell them they will be Sharing. Get them to come up with some ideas they might like to make a semi partition in room. Easiest way is furniture they already have arranged down middle if possible

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

But if the Grandmother moves out, and takes her £600pm with her, could she even afford to stay where she is?

And surely all your brothers children had equal claim to his estate, regardless of whether he was married to their mother?

[Sirzy]

Is she getting everything she is entitled too? If she is working full time and your paying her bills it does make me wonder if there is something she isn't getting she should be.

Is moving somewhere slightly out of area but cheaper to rent an option at all?

[BananaCakePie]

They were renting together at the time,he didn't have much money to leave them. His teenage Dc got some money for when they are 18

[BananaCakePie]

They're moving to a cheaper area just to afford the 2 bed

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

The situation does stink though. I'm presuming they live down south, where I live the Gran's £600pm alone would pay for a three bedroom house. Does the mother do the sort of job (eg teaching) that would be easy to find in a cheaper part of the country?

[Kidnapped]

I think SIL needs to sit down and think things through properly.

Sounds to me like she is not really coping very well (and who could blame her?) and so the situation has to change. Does she actually want her mother to live with her? Her mother's health will get worse and it sounds like the teens will have to take some responsibility for their grandmother as they are home more than their mother. SIL has lost her husband and it is very hard to work full-time, be a carer to an elderly person, and look after 2 teens. Never mind in a 2 bed house.

If she doesn't want to live with her mother, then she needs to say so. And let her siblings know that she has no space and no money to house her mum.

If she does want to live with her mum and take care of her then she needs to look at finances. She would probably be entitled to carer's allowance.

Just blindly taking a 2-bed house with the grandmother and 2 kids without even thinking about whether you actually want to do that will result in difficult living conditions for everyone even if you do put up partitions, use bunk beds, whatever.

The teens will leave home the first chance they get, effectively pushed out of their home, leaving SIL alone to care for her mother. And that is a lonely way to live your life.

[brasty]

There are so many well off people here who thinks when someone dies, they automatically leave an inheritance. That is not the case.

[Lighthouseturquoise]

Well it's possible but it sounds grim.

There's four of us in a two bed, me, dh and two boys and we are planning to buy a bigger house.

Imo teens need privacy, a quiet place to do homework too.

That situation might push them into moving out before they've saved up.

[YelloDraw]

There are so many well off people here who thinks when someone dies, they automatically leave an inheritance. That is not the case.

No automatic, but it is quite irresponsible to bot provide for your children in the event of death. One of the many costs of having children that people shoudl consider.