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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that trick or treaters say "thank you" and move on

123 replies

golfbuggy · 31/10/2016 19:04

We're on a main thoroughfare so get loads of trick or treaters.
Tonight it feels as though roughly in 1 or 3 of them have said "don't like that" or "can I have something else". I have grumpily refused every time. (It's generally been the 5-9 year olds I'd say - the younger ones just look wide eyed and the older ones just take what they are given!)

AIBU to think that if someone is giving you sweets for nothing your correct response is "thank you".

OP posts:

QueenofLouisiana · 31/10/2016 19:13

YANBU. I've drummed it into DS that the only correct response is "thank you, have a lovely evening".

AppleJac · 31/10/2016 19:16

I ve never answered the door to treat or treaters so i have no experience of kids grabbing handfuls of sweets so you have none left for anyone else etc.

What happens if you say you want them to do a trick? Are the kids prepared if someone says that to them?

ShimmeringIce · 31/10/2016 19:16

Yeah, I've had a few rummage through to see if there's anything better 😡
Also had some knocking since we ran out of sweets and brought the pumpkin inside. Take the hint, kids!

MistresssIggi · 31/10/2016 19:18

Applejac the "trick" part is a threat, egging windows etc.

AppleJac · 31/10/2016 19:20

Mistress

Really???? Wow! I thought they were suppose to do some sort of little magic trick etc.....

Kel1234 · 31/10/2016 19:21

I think yanbu, personally I hate the idea of it. I was never allowed to do it as a child as its not done in our family, and I certainly will not let my children do it when they are old enough.
They should be appreciative of anything I think.

bigbluebus · 31/10/2016 19:22

The children I've had have all been very polite, have only taken one sweet each (and not handfulls as I've had in the past) and one child even declared "ooh you've got my favourite lollies"

OvOntToSuckYourBlood · 31/10/2016 19:24

How rude.

Mine are out guising right now so better be polite!

There's no trick here. With guising you're meant to have a 'party piece' iykwim. Mine has a spooky poem to recite!

TeenAndTween · 31/10/2016 19:24

The 70 we had tonight were all polite and accepted whatever they pulled out without looking from my bag.

However, a couple of years ago an older one (~10) said he didn't like something, so I said OK then put it back and didn't give him a second pick.

IreallyKNOWiamright · 31/10/2016 19:25

I don't think many kids have manners these days. We don't do Halloween, so don't have to put up with it

FlyingElbows · 31/10/2016 19:26

I make up bags so there's nothing to chose from. Everyone does their turn then gets a bag.

Laniakea · 31/10/2016 19:27

we've had loads all evening - all lovely :) Polite & funny, lots of compliments for our pumpkins & children wanting to stroke the cats. Parents equally pleasant, it's a nice evening to stop & chat to our neighbours.

BarbarianMum · 31/10/2016 19:29

YANBU but you must live in a very fussy area. I've had over 100 trick or treaters here tonight (and still going) and no one's said anything but "Happy Halloween" or "thank you".

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 31/10/2016 19:31

I don't let my DC trick or treat... I grew up in Scotland with guiding and was when I had to move down South to find socially acceptable begging with menaces was a thing

Rhythmsticks · 31/10/2016 19:32

Ours have been very polite-ive had to encourage them to take more than 1 packet!

ImperialBlether · 31/10/2016 19:33

We have lovely ones round here, whether they're tiny or teenagers. The teenagers are always really happy to get sweets!

GColdtimer · 31/10/2016 19:37

Everyone has been lovely here. Very polite and saying nice things about the girls' outfits. Took mine out early and a teenage werewolf and teenage zombie even politely said "after you"'when we got to a door at the same time

primarynoodle · 31/10/2016 19:38

Very polite here too, I made biscuits with dd and many seemed super excited to get "a cookie!!!!"

I am a bit at kids with no adult, if they're old enough to be on their own they're too old to go out methinks

Craftyoldhen · 31/10/2016 19:41

I think you've kind of answered your own question in your OP.

Under 5s are easily pleased, and don't have the words or initiative to negotiate a better sweet.

Age 5-9 might have the initiative and confidence to ask, but some have not worked out its not particularly polite to do so.

Over 9 year olds - by this age they realise it would be rude to ask, so take whatever's offered with good grace.

Titsywoo · 31/10/2016 19:47

I just had this issue with my DS. He is autistic and struggles with some social niceties so can come across rude and grumpy. I was coaching him before every door he approached to say thank you, take what he was given and not criticise the offerings but I'm afraid sometimes he failed. I shouted thank you to make up for it but I'm sure people thought he was very rude!

ManagersDilemma · 31/10/2016 19:49

We did it a couple of times at our old house and had loads of children visit (probably over a hundred). Lots of them just used to grab fistfuls of sweets and it was rare to get a 'thank you'. I went off it after that.

ohtheholidays · 31/10/2016 19:51

We've had 120 so far tonight and they've all been polite.

DoYouRememberJustinBobby · 31/10/2016 19:52

Not one child has done a trick or anything of the sort and most over the age of 4 have been down right rude. I grew up in Ireland where my parents made us all do a little 'turn', usually a little rhyme or something.
I'd be embarrassed to send my children out begging and then to see them turn their noses up at what kind people had given them.

Our children have friends over for Apple bobbing and to watch a film but they won't be our acting like expectant animals tonight.

iklboo · 31/10/2016 19:52

Everyone has been really polite tonight from the tiddlers to the teens. They've also only taken one item each. Plus they've all said nice things about our decorations

luckylucky24 · 31/10/2016 19:53

We have had some lovely little ones here! Some (including mine) forget to say trick or treat and just stand there. The older ones have said "thank you" and even "HAPPY HALLOWEEN"

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