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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman was unreasonable not me.

132 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 30/10/2016 17:53

I have two horses who live with my PIL (not a PIL bashing thread).

The field is along the side of a road near a new build housing estate thing. All along it there are fairly massive signs asking people not to feed the horses because horse 1 has a horrid past and one of the hang overs around that is he is really aggressive around food, horse 2 is fucking fat.

Today I was at my PILs, rode my horses and put them in the field. I saw when I was tidying up the stables a small child standing right on the fence leaning into the field, with mum there, trying to feed them their sandwiches Confused

I walk over and really nicely ask them to not feed the horses, thankfully only Hippo was showing an interest at this stage, not the one who would be in prison for GBH if he was a person.

Woman then lays into me saying her daughter has SN and if she wants to feed the horses she can etc etc.

I point out the fact that one is obese and one is a thug, and she storms off calling me a joyless bitch and saying I ruined her child's day, and loudly saying to the girl that all people with horses are stuck up and nasty.

AIBU to think she was a dick and next time just leave them to get savaged by the thug?

OP posts:
thetemptationofchocolate · 30/10/2016 20:38

I know a pony who was bottle reared. He already views hands as food providers, this was ingrained in him as a baby. He's in his teens now but is still quite bitey and his owner does not EVER feed him from her hand.
If a random feeder came along and started treating this pony by hand, they'd likely lose a finger or two. People don't realise how dangerous it is.

Do people feed cows and sheep in the same way? I've not heard of this happening, but maybe it does!

GinIsIn · 30/10/2016 20:40

Wouls have served her right if they'd both got bitten! We used to keep our horses on a field behind our house and had signs up saying 'do not feed - aggressive horse' and people STILL used to try and feed them, and not realising the horses belonged to The house next door would often come and knock on our door to ask for a plaster and to complain about the "irresponsible" owners! Hmm

Turns out you don't actually need to shell out for an electric fence though - my dad just put out plastic string with electric fence symbols on. Worked a treat! Grin

MaitlandGirl · 30/10/2016 20:43

What would be the legal situation if you put up a sign stating the horse was aggressive and it then bit someone?

JustCallMeKate · 30/10/2016 20:44

I get this all the time with people thinking it's their fucking God given right to feed my horses especially in summer. One of my rescue mares launched at a mother and child who had ignored the signs. She came up screaming like a banshee to the house abou my "dangerous" horse. 🙄 Yeah, well, don't bloody feed them you fuckwit. The 11 signs are on the fences for a reason.

SpeckledyBanana · 30/10/2016 20:44

No different to now. It doesn't change anything about the horse.

LlamaDrama · 30/10/2016 20:46

Someone used to feed my old horse with treats by the handful - horse was turning into a bitey land shark as a result, so I asked for it to stop, only to find them still sneak feeding. Had to fictionalise a horrific disease that caused almost instant death if fed the wrong thing before it eventually stopped!

ClaudiaJean2016 · 30/10/2016 20:46

To all you horse owners - is it OK to feed them grass which grows right at mt side of the fence? Do basically it is the same grass they are eating except I rip it out and feed it to them (well, my son does).

Why not just pet the horses if they're friendly? No need to feed them.

I wouldn't want my horses being fed from the other side of the fence because i think it would encourage the escape artists to try to get on the other side of the fence for 'better' grass. Also don't want to encourage them to try to eat through the fence as they can get stuck and hurt.

Plus if your kid doesn't know what he's doing and gets his finger bitten (easy to happen even if horse not aggressive) that not something I want to be responsible for.

And as upthread someone mentioned, feeding one horse can make another horse bite and kick the horse out of the way to get some food, so it could injure my horses that way too.

If you want to feed horses, go to a stables and ask if you can feed one. If not, don't feed.

JellyBelli · 30/10/2016 20:48

Putting up a warning sign such as 'beware of the dog' does not mean you admit liability. You are supposed to warn people of hazards. For example, farmers are supposed put up a sign if a field contains a bull, to keep people safe while they are at wiork.

OP, your PIL can put in a double gate and a sign stating 'Animals can be unpredicatable, it is not safe to feed the horses or enter the field.'

Twinchaos1 · 30/10/2016 20:52

Where we moved to there are horses on our boundary and I have explained to our kids that however much the horses ask they cannot feed them apples or the like as it could make them poorly. Kids were disappointed at first as they are used to petting zoos etc but able to understand that it wasn't a thing we did. Just like we don't touch other people's dogs without asking first. Kids can learn these rules but they need to be taught them.

Essex13 · 30/10/2016 20:53

In my experience the only reason random people feed horses is to make them come to them. The horse is usually quite happy minding his own business in the middle of the field until people come along holding out tufts of dusty grass through the fence, they just want to pat them and have a bit of interaction.

Doesn't make it right or advisable though!

2kids2dogsnosense · 30/10/2016 21:25

The amount of people who said "well the ducks love it, so you don't know what you're talking about" was mind bending

I know what you mean. I love Chocolate and I love Gin, but if they formed more than a teeny tiny part of my diet I would get very poorly indeed.

2kids2dogsnosense · 30/10/2016 21:25

The amount of people who said "well the ducks love it, so you don't know what you're talking about" was mind bending

I know what you mean. I love Chocolate and I love Gin, but if they formed more than a teeny tiny part of my diet I would get very poorly indeed.

2kids2dogsnosense · 30/10/2016 21:33

"Thank you for not feeding the horses. One might bite, the other needs to slim down."

I prefer the "One is vicious and the other is a fat greedy bastard" myself.

babybythesea · 30/10/2016 21:38

I used to work in a zoo. Caught someone trying to feed the lemurs some polystyrene once through the mesh. Lemur was reaching through, although thankfully not eating it once it finally got hold of it.
Also used to regularly get people dropping/throwing bits of food into lots of the enclosures - gorillas, orang-utans, meerkats, macaques...... Giving the apes fizzy drinks wasn't massively uncommon. One of the adult males was trained to collect the cans for a reward from his keepers, in case a youngster ripped the can open and then ripped itself open on the can.

We also lost a baby gorilla (2 year old) to a virus that we think came from visitors throwing food to her - they can catch most human diseases but don't have the immunity humans do so a common cold can (and possibly did) kill them. Doesn't matter how many signs you put up, or how you phrase it (animals here have a special diet, they could catch illnesses... etc etc) people still do it.

Interestingly, watched a girl (maybe 14 or 15) in another zoo (was there for work but not in a uniform so she didn't stop what she was doing, which people often do as soon as a uniform shows up!) balancing on top of an outer wall designed to keep people away from the mesh, and resting her hand on the inner mesh, for support, in order to encourage an animal over to feed it some ice cream. She was leaning on a tiger enclosure. Not sure it liked the ice cream but would probably have welcomed a bit of extra meat. I did intervene, in case you were wondering. She never thanked me for ensuring she remained attached to her fingers.....

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 30/10/2016 21:53

We associate food with love.

It's not enough to just give them a nice rub on the nose. We need to give them food to prove we care.

DoYouRememberJustinBobby · 30/10/2016 21:55

Care enough to foot the vet bill?

YouTheCat · 30/10/2016 22:21

Some people are just utter dickheads.

gleam · 30/10/2016 22:43

I think, on the whole, people are so disconnected from larger animals, that it feels good to pet and feed a 'nice' one.
They simply don't think horses are dangerous because we've lost that general knowledge.

originalmavis · 30/10/2016 22:48

Considering one of our ponies has twice literally almost stuffed himself to death (ok one cheese sandwich won't do it) I would be very annoyed if people just took it upon themselves to march up and shove food in his face. They are greedy buggers. And can give a nasty nip when trying to hoover up food from your hand if you aren't careful.

Mynameispickles · 31/10/2016 06:02

Not about horses, but a few years ago I went to a safari park with a drive round monkey enclosure. There are about a hundred signs before u get to it (and inside it) saying 'keep windows closed.' Some stupid fucker ignored it and opened his car window to take a photo. A monkey swooped down from the roof, nabbed his expensive camera and proceeded to smash the shit out of it on some rocks. I did laugh 😂 Adhere to the signs people!!

Andrewofgg · 31/10/2016 10:50

I will start worrying when the lemur uses the camera!

pigsDOfly · 31/10/2016 15:24

It's hard to know what motivates some people sometimes.

I'd like to know who the stupid person is who keeps leaving sugary cereals and bread on top of a tree stump at the edge of one of the ponds containing ducks and moorhens near my local park.

Also, signs often don't have the desired affect either. Like the time I was in a public garden and watched a girl - old enough to read, not a small child - lean over the fence, a fence which was clearly put there to keep people out, and pick one of the flowers. When I told her - I might have raised my voice a bit - not to pick the flowers and pointed out the sign right next to her that said that the area was a conservation area and the flowers must not be picked, her mother said they were from Australia and didn't know they weren't allowed to Confused

An awful lot of people just don't consider sensible or considerate behaviour is something they need to think about. They want to do something, they do it.

bananastar · 31/10/2016 15:27

Some people think signs don't mean then cos they're special. Me and my dd's were at a farm park in the summer and there are some donkeys with signs saying 'Do not feed'. The woman next to us said to her kids 'we can save our apple cores and crusts from our picnic and fees them on the way back.' One of her kids says about the signs and she says 'don't be stupid it doesn't mean things like apples!!!!!!!' Shock

Squills · 31/10/2016 16:16

I would separate my horses from the main fence with electric tape and make sure there was a constant charge running through it.

Happymumof3tob · 31/10/2016 19:29

Yanbu. Having sn doesnt mean you can do whatever you want. Thats the most stupid thing i have heard in ages. Feeding horses a sandwhich is not going to make her SN better.... some people are just self entitled. Maybe put a sign up saying anyone who feeds the horses will be fined and that there are cameras.... not sure if that is legally allowed. But i bet it doesnt happen again.