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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman was unreasonable not me.

132 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 30/10/2016 17:53

I have two horses who live with my PIL (not a PIL bashing thread).

The field is along the side of a road near a new build housing estate thing. All along it there are fairly massive signs asking people not to feed the horses because horse 1 has a horrid past and one of the hang overs around that is he is really aggressive around food, horse 2 is fucking fat.

Today I was at my PILs, rode my horses and put them in the field. I saw when I was tidying up the stables a small child standing right on the fence leaning into the field, with mum there, trying to feed them their sandwiches Confused

I walk over and really nicely ask them to not feed the horses, thankfully only Hippo was showing an interest at this stage, not the one who would be in prison for GBH if he was a person.

Woman then lays into me saying her daughter has SN and if she wants to feed the horses she can etc etc.

I point out the fact that one is obese and one is a thug, and she storms off calling me a joyless bitch and saying I ruined her child's day, and loudly saying to the girl that all people with horses are stuck up and nasty.

AIBU to think she was a dick and next time just leave them to get savaged by the thug?

OP posts:
SleepyHare · 30/10/2016 18:29

I just don't think some people put much consideration into their actions regarding horses.

We were on a walk not so long back, two horses both with ID say 7/9 year olds on them being led by adults (horses owners I believe)

Two idiots women came along with their dogs, not on leads. One dog (jack Russell) proceeded to bite the horses leg. Horse tried to nose at it and tried sort of walking away but the dog was lucky not to get kicked straight in the face.

Adult with horse said to women can you please put uour dog on a lead he's just attempted to bite my horse and I don't want either of them to get hurt.

Women with dogs have a massive go at horse riders shouting and swearing about how a tiny dog can't do any damage to a horse and they're being ridiculous and they shouldn't be on this path as its a known dog walking route (it was a bridle path actually) and then saunter off with both dogs still not on leads..

I was gobsmacked. Surely it's common courtesy to put your dog on a lead round a horse, for its own safety if nothing else? I think what she didn't realise is that horses can get spooked easily and a) her dog could have been kicked and killed, or b) the horse could have flung the young girl off and really hurt her.

Some people are so ignorant. I think people need to remember horses are incredibly powerful animals. We are taught not to approach any strange dog for fear of being attacked, so why do we think it's ok to approach such a big animal as a horse?

userformallyknownasuser1475360 · 30/10/2016 18:30

You should have fed her child redbull, Ice Cream, the most hyperactive activity causing sweets in the world and promised that her mother was there to buy the horse....bet the mother wouldn't have taken too kindly to you interfering with the raising of her child.

FurryLittleTwerp · 30/10/2016 18:32

Ridiculous behaviour.

I used to take DS occasionally to feed a local horse when he was small, but only on clumps of grass that the horse could have reached itself. I did the feeding with a flat hand, as I thought he might get bitten.

If there had been signs up we would not have done it & there is no way I would ever give an animal "human" food!

user1477427207 · 30/10/2016 18:35

yes you should have filled your hand with the nastiest sweets possible and clucked at her kiddie to come over....

Honestly you are not being unreasonable, the woman is a loon.

the problem is horse owners are often seen as fair game.

2kids2dogsnosense · 30/10/2016 18:35

I have to confess that many years ago, if I had a packet of mints in my pocket and passed a field of horses, I would give them one (but not if there was a "Do Not Feed" sign up.)

Then one day there were about four horses, and as I offered the last one its mint, one of the others attacked it and bit it (no blood or anything, thank God, but I couldn't believe what happened - I had thought horses were gentle creatures) in order to get that final mint.

I mentioned this to a girl I worked with who had horses, and she said its very common - that a lot of horses are, in fact, spiteful greedy bastards who think nothing of kicking seven bells out of other horses just on a whim, let alone when there is something as desirable as a Polo mint at stake.

I have always been wary of horses - feeding them was a sort of therapy for me ("I am not afraid. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear is the little death etc") - but I now keep away from the buggers and leave self-medication-by-equine alone. I don't feed anything whether there's a notice or not, but if I was so inclined, I wouldn't dream of mouthing off if the owner took me to task about it.

2kids2dogsnosense · 30/10/2016 18:37

PS - a horse fight is bloody frightening to witness . . .

2kids2dogsnosense · 30/10/2016 18:38

KingJoffrey

Grin
2kids2dogsnosense · 30/10/2016 18:38

KingJoffrey

Grin
PoshPenny · 30/10/2016 18:40

Completely unreasonable but people like that won't be told. Leave her to your thug, and electric fencing is an excellent idea. If you catch her again I think you have every right to give her both barrels. No you are not a joyless bitch either...

Lalunya85 · 30/10/2016 18:40

To all you horse owners - is it OK to feed them grass which grows right at mt side of the fence? Do basically it is the same grass they are eating except I rip it out and feed it to them (well, my son does).

Potentially aggressive horses aside, do you think this is OK? Ie should I stop?

Just as an FYI, we only do this when on holiday at my parents so it's not a regular thing. Son loves it.

Pagwatch · 30/10/2016 18:42

Yes - she was an idiot. You shouldn't have to put up a notice. People shouldn't randomly try and feed horses , utterly bizarre.

I don't really understand the 'you should have fed her daughter a load of sweets' comments. Are they meant to be sort of funny retorts? Because they are not funny.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 30/10/2016 18:42

Same with dogs.

There's always some bugger who wants to feed mine chips or some such.
No, go away.

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 30/10/2016 18:42

Lalunya the horses may be in a specially mown down paddock for weight reasons, also it can make some horses bite if they expect it every time a person comes.
Personally I'd not be happy with it.

OP posts:
RichardBucket · 30/10/2016 18:43

Even without the signs, she would be the unreasonable one. Surely everybody knows you don't feed animals like that, especially not fucking sandwiches.

user1477427207 · 30/10/2016 18:45

Lalunya better not to feed them anything it makes them bitey

TweedAddict · 30/10/2016 18:49

Some people have no idea, we used to have people trip there lawn clipping over our fence into the horses paddock- as after all it's only grass. No it can KILL the horse.

kb.rspca.org.au/Can-I-feed-my-horse-on-lawn-mower-clippings-and-other-garden-waste_482.html

RoseRose217 · 30/10/2016 18:49

A little off topic, but is it bad to feed horses polos? They seem to love them and I heard from a horse person it is ok to feed them a couple of polos, but reading this thread makes me think this isn't true?

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 30/10/2016 18:51

Rose it's fine, but not without the consent of the owner. Horse may be on a low sugar diet for laminitis, it might be bitey, or the owner might just want to know exactly what thehorses are eating

OP posts:
WannaBe · 30/10/2016 18:52

I am a guide dog owner. The number of people who attempt to feed my dog sandwiches, sausages, crisps and all manner of other nameless crap is unreal. Moreover, I was flamed on here for telling a poster she was unreasonable for feeding a guide dog from a buffet.

Anyone who feeds someone else's animals is an idiot, bet the stupid cow would be the first to call for your head if she'd been bitten..

HarrietSchulenberg · 30/10/2016 18:52

There is a sign on the gate of a local field that says, "Please don't feed the brown horse as he bites. Or the black one as he's a fat, greedy bastard. Thank you."
Always makes me smile but I had to explain to my then 7 year old, who proudly read the sign aloud, that "fat, greedy bastard" was not something he was allowed to repeat at school.

CaveMum · 30/10/2016 18:52

A former friend of mine worked in a Showing yard, she thought it was nice to feed the ponies mints every day and totally wrecked their showing careers - whenever the Judge approached them they started snuffling and searching for mints on them. It's one of several reasons she was sacked from the yard.

BestZebbie · 30/10/2016 18:53

To the people surprised that members of the public feed horses:

  • people feed wild birds and animals (hedgehogs etc) and this is seen as a nice thing to do
  • people feed ducks, which may be wild or owned, and this is seen as a nice family activity
  • people feed owned farm animals (often including donkeys, if not horses) at tourist attraction petting zoos, and this is actively encouraged by the owners as a way to sell bags of feed, and seen as a nice family activity
  • people feed each others pets even when they are asked not to - not only are no bread for ducks signs routinely ignored, but it is really common to feed cats that do not belong to the feeder, sometimes to the point of the cat actually transferring residence.
  • people feed neighbourhood children who play (eg: on a housing estate, in the street) with their own children. As babies they usually ask the parents but in primary school and certainly secondary school, not always, especially if it is only at the squash-and-biscuit level.
  • People build up individual relationships with horses that they see frequently, in the same way that they do with neighbours who they nod hello to as they pass by. So they start to think of the horse more like a person that they know (in the 'maybe helen next door would like some of these extra tomatoes' way) rather than in the way they'd see a random dog met once on a footpath etc.
It seems almost inevitable that as a progression from the above, people will feed horses that are in fields adjacent to public footpaths. Generic 'don't feed the horses' signs will just be blanked out as being to enforce territory rather than ward off bad consequences, like 'keep off the grass' signs are - the best route is probably to play into the 'this horse is a person you know' thing and actually say specifically 'this horses is on a special diet/is food aggressive and being trained/etc' so there is a reason to avoid harming that specific 'known' horse.
BestZebbie · 30/10/2016 18:53

To the people surprised that members of the public feed horses:

  • people feed wild birds and animals (hedgehogs etc) and this is seen as a nice thing to do
  • people feed ducks, which may be wild or owned, and this is seen as a nice family activity
  • people feed owned farm animals (often including donkeys, if not horses) at tourist attraction petting zoos, and this is actively encouraged by the owners as a way to sell bags of feed, and seen as a nice family activity
  • people feed each others pets even when they are asked not to - not only are no bread for ducks signs routinely ignored, but it is really common to feed cats that do not belong to the feeder, sometimes to the point of the cat actually transferring residence.
  • people feed neighbourhood children who play (eg: on a housing estate, in the street) with their own children. As babies they usually ask the parents but in primary school and certainly secondary school, not always, especially if it is only at the squash-and-biscuit level.
  • People build up individual relationships with horses that they see frequently, in the same way that they do with neighbours who they nod hello to as they pass by. So they start to think of the horse more like a person that they know (in the 'maybe helen next door would like some of these extra tomatoes' way) rather than in the way they'd see a random dog met once on a footpath etc.
It seems almost inevitable that as a progression from the above, people will feed horses that are in fields adjacent to public footpaths. Generic 'don't feed the horses' signs will just be blanked out as being to enforce territory rather than ward off bad consequences, like 'keep off the grass' signs are - the best route is probably to play into the 'this horses is a person you know' thing and actually say specifically 'this horses is on a special diet/is food aggressive and being trained/etc' so there is a reason to avoid harming that specific horse.
ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 30/10/2016 18:55

Moreover, I was flamed on here for telling a poster she was unreasonable for feeding a guide dog from a buffet.

Blimey! Of course she was VBU.

elastamum · 30/10/2016 18:56

I wouldn't advise hand feeding anything to a horse, particularly not a loose one

I have horses and I NEVER hand feed them treats of any sort. IMO It makes them pushy and greedy - I also have a hippo horse! - and if they are loose in the field would lead to an almighty punch up between them. When they don't expect anything but a rub on the head they are perfectly pleasant.

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