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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there's no excuse for saying this to a child?

83 replies

lovelilies · 30/10/2016 08:10

I'm purposely not setting the scene, may do later but I'm pretty sure there aren't any circumstances when it's okay for an adult to say
"If you ever swear at me again I'll rip a piece into you", to an 11 yo girl.
Are there?

OP posts:
IfartInYourGeneralDirection · 30/10/2016 08:13

It's like tear a strip off you ie- being told off?

If so I think it's ok, hard to tell with all the vagueness

SaucyJack · 30/10/2016 08:14

What does rip a piece into you mean?

StCecilia · 30/10/2016 08:15

I say to mine "I'll have your guts for garters!" - totally depends on the tone, setting etc

lovelilies · 30/10/2016 08:15

The child hadn't actually sworn at the adult, she was being wound up by him and eventually walked away muttering ffs under her breath.

I think it sounds menacing!

OP posts:
lovelilies · 30/10/2016 08:16

Was said very calmly and threatening. Child had already apologised for swearing

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 30/10/2016 08:17

It's just a phrase. It's fine.

insancerre · 30/10/2016 08:18

It's just words though
I think it depends on the context and the relationship

TeaBelle · 30/10/2016 08:18

Yeah, I this k it's a figure of speech and is fine - not an actual threat

missyB1 · 30/10/2016 08:18

It's a saying like "tear a strip, the child was getting a warning that swearing wouldn't be tolerated.

NataliaOsipova · 30/10/2016 08:18

I think it's just a figure of speech, to be honest - possibly a regional thing? (My nan would have said "...I'll send you into next week!"). I would interpret "rip a piece" as meaning I will tell you off severely. Can't say it strikes me as that awful.

HallowedMimic · 30/10/2016 08:19

It doesn't sound that bad.

There are a few variations on the same phrase, I seriously doubt many children would take it literally.

IfartInYourGeneralDirection · 30/10/2016 08:19

Still doesn't snot awful to me..perhaps if she was a toddler

IfartInYourGeneralDirection · 30/10/2016 08:20

Sound not snot

Eevee77 · 30/10/2016 08:20

Meh. Without any context I can't really see an issue with that and that alone, no.

lovelilies · 30/10/2016 08:21

I guess IABU then... there was a lot of shouting going on before that must have clouded my judgement.

OP posts:
acornsandnuts · 30/10/2016 08:21

Its a figure of speech, albeit one I haven't heard, but I would say it like tearing a strip off you. As in you will be in big trouble. I think you're reading a bit too much into it.

Eevee77 · 30/10/2016 08:21

Even looking at your pictures her posts it sounds like adult could have handled it better but I still couldn't get worked up over it tbh.

Moreisnnogedag · 30/10/2016 08:22

Yeah just sounds like a severe telling off.

Unless said whilst looming over child with clenched fist obviously.

Blu · 30/10/2016 08:24

The whole situation sounds horrible rather than the actual words.

YouMeanYouForgotCranberriesToo · 30/10/2016 08:25

I would take it to mean they were going to get a proper telling off if they swore again. I would be furious if my child said that, so I'd probably give them a big telling off the first time.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 30/10/2016 08:28

I think it's fine especially as child walked off muttering ffs,at 11! I would probably say the same and definitely calmly as I'm not a shouter.

Rainydayspending · 30/10/2016 08:28

It could depend on delivery tone and context. "Tear a strip off" My father standing over me with my own horse crop - yeah, bloody awful. My friend's dad sending her to a room so they could both calm the fuck down - not so bad.

NotYoda · 30/10/2016 08:29

I tell my kids I am going to punch them up the bracket

But jokingly

But in your example - a grown man sounding menacing - not good really

siblingrevelryagain · 30/10/2016 08:30

I recently said to my daughter "if you break that, I'll break you" (she kept messing with a glass case after being told to leave it alone). To a passer-by it would sound threatening, but in the relationship we have where we're a bit irreverent (I call them muppets affectionately if they do something silly, and we have lots of toilet humour in the house), it wasn't meant as a direct threat and was meant to be light-hearted. I understand how it could be taken as menacing though, as it sounds harsh, much like the 'threat' you heard.

FerretFred · 30/10/2016 08:30

A similar one said in the army was 'I'll rip you a new arsehole'.

Not sure on context but I'm not sure I'd say it to a child.

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