To tell this bride to go swivel?!

[Badger84]

A friend of a friend is getting married and she had asked me to do her makeup as a favour. I am not a MUA but I enjoy hair and makeup and have a huge selection of makeup. I was shocked but agreed when I highlighted the point that I am not professional and she was happy with that.

5 makeup trials later and we have come to the understanding that she has unrealistic expectations of what I can provide. Her SIL has been at each of these trials and completely picked apart what I have done. The brides style is quite errr alternative (think gothic) so I've found it incredibly hard to recreate the look she wants. We finally came to a compromise and the bride was happy.

We went to the hen do previous weekend and the SIL kept making comments about makeup. Today I have received a message from the bride basically saying if I didn't want to do the makeup then I didn't have to 🤔

Not sure how to reply? AIBU to be annoyed that I have spent over 5 hours with the bride, using my makeup FOR FREE and now she is essentially ditching me. The wedding is next week! My DH says I should be relieved but I can't help but feel really annoyed!

[Aeroflotgirl]

After the 2nd trial I woukd have had enough, and put a stop to it. You have had a lucky escape.

[paddypants13]

I'd do what Clopysow said and ask her if she wants you to do the make up. I'd also add that I wouldn't be offended if she had found someone else to do it.

[ThoraGruntwhistle]

'I'm quite relieved you've found somebody else, you and your cronies clearly didn't like what I can do. It's a shame I wasted so much of my makeup before you came to that conclusion, but I'm glad I can just be a guest now instead of being under pressure to do your silly emo face.'

Not really. Obviously.

[firstforst]

You have dodged a bullet. Be grateful.

[LadyConstanceDeCoverlet]

I do think you need to pin her down and get her to admit that she doesn't want you to do it, otherwise she or her SiL will be saying that you let her down. Also that way you can wind her up a bit by asking her to reimburse you for the cost of make-up.

But I agree that you're definitely best off out of it. There's a distinct risk with the "alternative" look she wants that everyone will think it was your idea and that you can't do make-up properly.

[ChishandFips33]

"I'm more than happy to do it...but more importantly are you happy for me to do it? I'd completely understand if you're not - I just want the day to be the best it can be for you"

Bullet dodged, let them crack on but make sure she says it like it is because if on the day it's not good, you'll get blamed for 'pulling out'

Screenshot get reply for future evidence!

[onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad]

Go to the wedding
Don't do the make up
Put down the time spent on make up trials as experience
You will go away happier than making a fuss - you won't get that time back now but lesson learnt.
You did a generous and kind thing ... let virtue be its own reward.

[pigsDOfly]

So you gave her 5 hours of your time and all that make up, and I'm I right in thinking you were going to do the make up on her wedding day for nothing?
And this is the sort of response you get from the bride and her SIL.

Bloody hell.

Be thankful the ungrateful bitch doesn't want you to do it now. Let her stew, she's not going to find anyone else to be so generous.

Not sure I'd want to go to her wedding. Hope you haven't bought a gift, you don't want that picked over and found wanting as well.

[Only1scoop]

No way would I do Make up, saved by the vile sil I'd say.

[FionaGatwick]

I second what ChishandFips33 posted.

[DeathpunchDoris]

She sounds ungrateful and rude. Lucky escape IMO

[JellyBelli]

It sound like the SIL has been stirring it behind your back.
I'd be relieved and I wouldnt go to the wedding. She'll be looking to blame you for whatever goes wrong with her hair and make up on the day.

[BerylStreep]

Yep, bullet dodged.

I'd reply along the lines of:

I'm not at all offended if you've found someone else who can create what you want - I realise it's very much a personal thing, and important for you to feel completely happy and comfortable on the day. Looking forward to seeing you on the big day. Love Badger xx

Maintain the moral high ground. Spill a drink over the SIL on the day by accident.

[foursillybeans]

I agree that you just want to tread carefully and talk to her at least by phone so that she won't go slagging you off saying that you pulled out a week before the wedding.
Perhaps go down the route of 'oh yes well I'm fairly sure I'm not giving you the look you are seeking but are you sure you have something else in place? I don't want you to be stressed on your wedding morning.' My guess is the SIL is going to do the make up.

[TirednessIsComing]

Yanbu. I would be relieved and cancel. I'd also consider the 5 hours their gift and not get anything else.

[Halloweensnake]

You've had a lucky escape...you would of never heard the end of it ...if you had done it..she sounds the type to never be happy with what she has

[RentANDBills]

I was gonna say "bill her!" but actually think this is probably fairer I'd also consider the 5 hours their gift and not get anything else

But I'd still be tempted to charge her for materials. State it as mates rates.

[Only1scoop]

I'd Rock up to the nuptials as Kiss....sans le gift

[Ta1kinpeece]

Well, she's had her wedding present then .....

Joking apart
on another thread I mentioned a fab wedding that cost nothing
part of it was that everybody gave presents "in kind" and they were accepted as such
eg the band, the caterer, the cake maker, the tailor

in your case, she's had per pressie
now eat all you can

[tictactoad]

Rather than telling her to swivel there might be more fun to be had in 'misunderstanding' the message and telling her you're absolutely fine with it and totally looking forward to making her up on the big day then watching her squirm

[AnnetteKertan]

I wouldn't call, you need something in writing from bride saying she doesn't want you to do her make up otherwise there will be all the wedding gossip of SIL having to do the make up because a friend let the bride down.

Yanbu to be annoyed ; I'd be pissed too but keep the moral high ground, be polite etc in any communication

[Hellochicken]

It's annoying to have put the time in, but I'd be relieved, SIL is looking for problems.
I'd just make it clear that she is ditching you, and you are not ditching her. Some of the repies suggested already are good!

[Foxysoxy01]

Honestly it sounds like a MASSIVE lucky escape!!

If it was me I would be willing to give the 5 hours if it meant I didn't have to do it after all!

Not only are they very rude but I'm sure they would drag your name through the mud after the wedding. Sounds like nothing would've been good enough!

[Soozikinzi]

I'd be relieved it's a big responsibility and she sounds like she doesn't really know what she wants .Drop it like a grenade!