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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell this bride to go swivel?!

290 replies

Badger84 · 28/10/2016 19:30

A friend of a friend is getting married and she had asked me to do her makeup as a favour. I am not a MUA but I enjoy hair and makeup and have a huge selection of makeup. I was shocked but agreed when I highlighted the point that I am not professional and she was happy with that.

5 makeup trials later and we have come to the understanding that she has unrealistic expectations of what I can provide. Her SIL has been at each of these trials and completely picked apart what I have done. The brides style is quite errr alternative (think gothic) so I've found it incredibly hard to recreate the look she wants. We finally came to a compromise and the bride was happy.

We went to the hen do previous weekend and the SIL kept making comments about makeup. Today I have received a message from the bride basically saying if I didn't want to do the makeup then I didn't have to 🤔

Not sure how to reply? AIBU to be annoyed that I have spent over 5 hours with the bride, using my makeup FOR FREE and now she is essentially ditching me. The wedding is next week! My DH says I should be relieved but I can't help but feel really annoyed!

OP posts:
tooclosetocall · 06/01/2017 18:25

Excuse my spelling. iPad using my one good hand

SpermThroughASashWindow · 06/01/2017 22:22

My friend got married, and the following year, her friend chose the same venue, invitations, cars, meal, band, bridesmaid dress, and a very similar wedding dress. The only reason the dress wasn't the same is because my friend has hers specially made. The other girl is very nice. I think she just was overwhelmed by all the decisions. My friend only minded a little bit!

QuimReaper · 07/01/2017 13:32

Amazing update OP, I am DYING to see her wedding snaps!

Gosh, it's so utterly odd that she clearly hero-worships you and simultaneously was happy to treat you like dirt and waste your time like that Confused Sounds like she and SIL have a bit of a joint obsession with you. I'd be very alarmed.

QuimReaper · 07/01/2017 13:33

And also making a point of being bitchy about your make up skills, "trowelled on foundation" and all that.

How do you know her again?

ThirdThoughts · 07/01/2017 14:42

Previously I had thought the SIL was nasty, but actually, I wonder if the bride has been name dropping you loads and she thinks it's bizarre too and that's why she was making undermining comments and looking at you oddly. Obviously, doesn't excuse the rudeness, it's not your fault!

I'm kind of relieved she ended up with 'alternative' make-up in the end, I was a bit concerned she was going to end up completely forgetting her individuality and copying your make-up style too!

TitaniasCloset · 07/01/2017 15:08

No base on her wedding day and dark eyes and lips? Oh dear clueless!

I'm glad she looked horrendous in the end, I knew she would. Wedding makeup is difficult because it has to last all day and still look good in photos.

Bride and SIL sound quite mad. Make sure your friends aren't feeding them any info at all. Bloody weirdos.

frizzfactor · 07/01/2017 18:00

I would be annoyed at the lack of gratitude and thought but I would hope there will be a free bar and make the most of it. There is no way you should feel, there is only the way you DO feel, so just try and work out why it is and then have a bottle of champagne at their expense! Xx

Fluffycloudland77 · 07/01/2017 18:14

Well obviously you've given up tv to devote more time for

zen1 · 07/01/2017 18:41

As you originally encountered her as a friend of a friend, did you not know her that well before you were asked to do her make-up? She sounds seriously fixated on your life. Definitely tighten up your social media settings; you don't want her stalking you online.

Cheby · 07/01/2017 18:53

You are very kind giving her a wedding gift. I would have considered the 5 hours of my time more than enough of a gift!

I may also have turned up in a white dress and hoovered up all the free booze I could get my hands on Grin

GimmeeMoore · 07/01/2017 19:06

Checking in for 2 reasons

  1. Love your use of she can go swivel, priceless!
  2. You've graciously used all your own products,and time for free and bride still bellyaching...well yes she can go swivel

Fwiw I'd love someone to make me up,try out products,have a chat. I'd feed you, be grateful,and I'd get you a gift

Anyways, you escaped that aggro,so enjoy your own wedding

EweAreHere · 07/01/2017 19:18

You should send her some photos from your wedding for the memory box you gave her with a note ... perhaps along the lines of 'seeing as your wedding was a carbon copy of my own, these are for you, just in case your own pics didn't come out...'. Grin

SundialShadow · 07/01/2017 19:22

^I would just message her and say "phew! Glad you've offered as through the trials I felt we had a miss match of styles and I really didn't want you to feel obligated to go with me. Hope you find someone more suitable"

Keep the high ground.^

This x 100000

Redorwhitejusthaveboth · 07/01/2017 19:27

Please zoom in on the eye make up from 1 of the fab photos and share it here... PLEASEGrin

Redorwhitejusthaveboth · 07/01/2017 19:28

Or even Facebook as I'm sure I don't mean fab

CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 07/01/2017 19:54

When's your anniversary OP?
I'd share edited clips from your wedding of all the things she copied - esp the speech - on social media on that date Grin Grin

Shiraznowplease · 07/01/2017 19:56

So my sil (my brother's wife) chose the same colour bridesmaid dressing and theme, I wasn't bothered but when she named her dc my dcs middle names I was a bit 😮 She also moved into a near identical house (albeit not in same area) and completed the set by choosing exactly the same car as us a few months late!!!

Shiraznowplease · 07/01/2017 19:58

Oh and one of her children was born on the same day as ours, she announced her first pregnancy on my first child's first birthday....I try to take it as flattery!

SomethingLikeFlying · 07/01/2017 20:04

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant! Grin

niccyb · 07/01/2017 20:14

I would feel relieved. Let the bride try to find someone in a week and then complain about that or better still do it herself. At least then you won't have the SIL making comments on the wedding day. Lucky escape.

Starlight2345 · 07/01/2017 20:14

People are weird..

I think you are better out of it op..

Hope she will get her own opinions and ideas one day..

At least your day is the one you wanted ..Not a wannabe.

Diamondsandpurls · 07/01/2017 21:37

Shiraz, your sil may well have chosen the same bridesmaid dresses and colour as you but I'm pretty sure your brother will have had some input into the choice of his children's names, house and car. Hmm

rockcake · 07/01/2017 23:13

What diamond said.... and, Shiraz, she clearly didn't choose her DC's dob, be reasonable

StrangeLookingParasite · 07/01/2017 23:18

Dunno if you have children, but if not, what you need to do now is say that you and you DH are thinking about starting a family and come up with some hideous names for children - pretend that they are treasured family names that you would be sooooo upset if someone else used. I guarantee she'll be trumpeting them as her own choice for her kids.

Do this, do this!

Badger84 · 08/01/2017 08:22

I'm literally sitting on my hands here trying not to upload a pic of the makeup but I think that's really rather mean..... even if she is my stalker! Grin

OP posts:
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