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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to keep my "new life" private and secret?

143 replies

FionaGatwick · 27/10/2016 10:35

I moved to another country almost three years ago, and have so far managed to keep what I've been doing to myself and a few friends from my "past" life.

One of my friends from my past life (not among the few mentioned above) is coming over for a work thing and asking to meet up.

I am very busy because it's exam season (I went back to school) and while I have agreed to a dinner, it seems she wants me to take her around, which I cannot do.

What do I tell her?

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 27/10/2016 14:14

The name's Gatwick. Fiona Gatwick.

JakeBallardswife · 27/10/2016 14:15

International Escort? Private gun for hire?

Trainee accountant Grin

TallulahTheTiger · 27/10/2016 14:18

Have you enrolled at professor X's school and your friend doesn't approve of you using your powers and wants you to hide them??

Maudlinmaud · 27/10/2016 14:20

Priest hood? Nun hood? Some other type of holy orders?

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 27/10/2016 14:22

I'm hoping for something of a sexually deviant nature....

PrivatePike · 27/10/2016 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrivatePike · 27/10/2016 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MitzyLeFrouf · 27/10/2016 14:26

I think it's the Black Narcissus School of Nunnery.

Maudlinmaud · 27/10/2016 14:30

Please pick my idea for your update op.
Pleeeeeeaaaasssseee

IceBeing · 27/10/2016 14:36

The only thing I would be that cagey about would be training as a homeopathic practitioner...or any other bulshit woo type job.

This would be massively shameful given my current clique is physicists.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 27/10/2016 14:43

pike Now we're talking! Grin

Come on, OP. Give us a hint. Even just one letter....

Florathefern · 27/10/2016 14:44

I am going to guess you feel you are underachieving and you don't want people back home thinkingvthe same? A friend of mine lives in Spain teaching English (or at least was the last time we were in contact). She didn't want anyone to know and more or less cut herself off from her previous life. The odd thing was she herself was extremely judgemental about other people. The sad thing was she left old friends behind but never made new friends. It seemed there was something wrong with nearly everyone. IMO she has a major chip on her shoulder. If there are people in your life that make you feel unhappy, by all means cut the ties. But it is hard to make friends in life OP. Don't be too quick to cut the ones you have put of your life. It

museumum · 27/10/2016 14:50

What's the point of meeting for dinner if you're not even going to answer "so, what are you doing with yourself?"?
If you really don't want to speak to her don't meet up at all.

EverySongbirdSays · 27/10/2016 14:59

So,

You've moved, let's say for arguments sake you live in Paris.

Just show the Eiffel tower and the Moulin Rouge like anyone else. Is there any need to introduce her to the "daily life" bits of life and local friends?

Any questions about your job "oh it's the same really"

Other posters suggest they've read another thread were you don't like this person. In which case why have her.

I doubt ANYONE gives as much of a fuck as you seem to think they do as long as you're happy, and if they don't care about the "as long as your happy" bit they aren't a friend

There's a phrase gets trotted out a lot : "What other people think of you is none of your business"

It i really about them, what they think of you, and any negative judgement is about them.

Own it, be happy, be proud, and don't give a fuck, or feel ashamed

Arfarfanarf · 27/10/2016 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

roundaboutthetown · 27/10/2016 16:25

People are one hell of a lot more bitchy and judgmental when they smell a secret than they are if they know the truth. Moving overseas and suddenly not telling the world all about your life will have their gossip radars going overtime. If you don't want people coming out to see you on spying missions, in order to report back to all their friends, then cut contact or stop being weird and secretive.

StrawberrytallCake · 27/10/2016 16:33

The name's Gatwick. Fiona Gatwick.

Sniggered loudly at this - in class......are you here Fiona?

dannyglick · 27/10/2016 16:42

Are you Anne Darwin?

MitzyLeFrouf · 27/10/2016 16:43

She'd rather be left to paddle her own canoe............

Modiiii · 27/10/2016 16:52

Are you working for Facebook?

LetitiaCropleysCookbook · 27/10/2016 16:59

You say that a select group of your friends from your past life are in on your secret, op. How trustworthy are they? How can you be sure that this unenlightened friend from your past life hasn't been in contact with your other, 'in the know' friends from your past life, and been thoroughly updated already?

GloriaGaynor · 27/10/2016 17:09

I can't imagine giving a shit what friends/ex-friends thought about my retraining, whatever it was.

It's better to live life with confidence in your own choices without caring what others think.

Original poster
FionaGatwick · 27/10/2016 19:33

Out of curiosity - how does one search for a poster's past thread? I can't find the option.

OP posts:
Original poster
FionaGatwick · 27/10/2016 19:34

LetitiaCropleysCookboo

They don't know each other. The select group is from a diff phase of my life in the past.

OP posts:
Arfarfanarf · 27/10/2016 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.