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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to start charging my sister rent?

380 replies

cerealnamechangers · 25/10/2016 10:41

My dsis has lived in my mortgage free house for seven years with her adult daughter since we moved to a bigger property, in that time i have never asked for a penny in rent as we were pretty comfortable but she has paid all the bills for the house e.g. council tax. I was intending to keep the house incase any of my dc ever wanted to move in. The market rate for rent would be about 650-700 pounds per calendar month.
However we now have 2 dc at university and money is tight so we could really do with the extra cash to help them out. Dsis is not short of money and her and her daughter drive nice cars and go on multiple long haul foreign holidays, so aibu to ask her for a contribution for living there? I feel awkward asking her as she has never offered.

OP posts:
mysistersimone · 25/10/2016 13:03

I'm stunned its gone in this long. You have so much behind you and if your sister or niece quibbles then they are so far in the wrong. 2 adult women (guessing both earning) can easily afford to pay rent. I'm sad you've lost out on so much money for you and your family. I'm also stunned your sister let this go on

WinchesterWoman · 25/10/2016 13:03

In fact why don't you rent it out and get paying people in. Would she change the locks when you aren't there if you say you need her to find somewhere else?

AmyInTheBoonies · 25/10/2016 13:06

You have been so generous already!

I would offer her it for £500pcm as she is a stable, trustworthy tenant. She could split that with her daughter so £250 each is very affordable. If she is in anyway grumpy about that i'd be really cross as she's had such a good deal so far!

ajandjjmum · 25/10/2016 13:08

Your sister is taking the p*. Not even to pay you the measly £100 that was agreed.

I would give her a choice. Having subsidised her to the tune of over £40K, she needs to start paying her way. Because you are considerate, she can pay you a 'below market' rent of £500 pcm, or alternatively find somewhere else to live.

And then rent so that you have some income to tide you over tight times - we all have them!

FlabulousChic · 25/10/2016 13:08

I think you have to be honest and say that you now need to be getting an income from the property. It really is that simple then work out how much.

ImperialBlether · 25/10/2016 13:09

I've changed my mind about half rent. I think you need to tell her (with your husband there) that you will have to charge full market rent from the end of November. If she's not interested in living there once it's rent-free, then she can pay until she leaves.

She really has a nerve if she objects to that!

SuperFlyHigh · 25/10/2016 13:09

So why did she move there originally? Was there a divorce and house was waiting to be sold?

SuperFlyHigh · 25/10/2016 13:11

Also realistically Long term what happens to the house? Could go on for another 10, 20 years??!!

WinchesterWoman · 25/10/2016 13:13

Not only that, what if you die in a car crash (morbid sorry) what happens then. Do they have a claim by living there for nothing, no lease agreement, nothing? Your kids could lose out big time. See a solicitor.

Justjoseph · 25/10/2016 13:15

I know a few people that have similar arrangements. On has lived free for twenty years, missed the opportunity to buy and it's very awkward as she has emotionally blackmailed the family member saying but this is my home and I can't leave.

They don't feel able to evict her...it only gets harder.

Mix56 · 25/10/2016 13:15

That 40K could have bought you all sorts of holidays....

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 25/10/2016 13:17

Why are you so scared of even timidly asking your piss-taking sister to be even a tiny smidgen less piss-taking?

Are you not seething with resentment inside? Are your DC not seething with resentment at how she has taken the piss out of you?

Trifleorbust · 25/10/2016 13:20

I don't think people should be berating the OP for 'giving away her kids' money' Hmm

It's her money. She can do what she wants with it. If she wants to be generous to her sister and niece, that's her business. The sister sounds like a free-loading piss-taker to me but that isn't my decision to make, or that of anyone else on the thread.

DudeWheresMyVulva · 25/10/2016 13:22

Winchester I think has a very valid comment.

We have recently had a family bereavement. A person who is a sort of godchild, but was NOT in the will has put in a claim under the provision for dependants act. The deceased was sending a substantial gift each birthday which helped them with rent and university fees. Their claim after our relative died was that they were used to that money and needed it. Apparently it is a valid claim and is being taken seriously. We all saw it as an act of generosity by our relative. No thought it might be a binding agreement upon death. So, if something horrid happened your DSis could claim that she was financially reliant on your generosity and that would have to continue. To the detriment of your partner and your children.

Original poster
cerealnamechangers · 25/10/2016 13:22

She was in rented accomadation and the landlord was selling.

OP posts:
trulybadlydeeply · 25/10/2016 13:23

I think it's outrageous that she and her adult DD are living there rent free, drive good cars and go on lavish holidays, whilst you still have a mortgage on your house and can't afford to fix your car! Absolutely outrageous. You are effectively supposed to scrimp and save whilst funding your DC at uni.

Please do not offer her 50% market value of the rent, or even 70%. Tell her she needs to start paying market value rent by the beginning of December. Otherwise you have to rent it out as you need the income. Also DO seek legal advice.

Tell her today OP, there's nothing gained by waiting.

DudeWheresMyVulva · 25/10/2016 13:24

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1975/63/contents

ilovewelshrarebit123 · 25/10/2016 13:29

Why wouldn't she pay bills and rent? I rent a three bed for £625 and pay all bills and council tax.

I'd be asking her for at least £250 a month!

ImperialBlether · 25/10/2016 13:31

Why £250? Her sister and adult niece have lived rent free for seven years! Why should they have a reduced rent now?

WinchesterWoman · 25/10/2016 13:31

Cereal it might be easier if you fork out for an hour with a solicitor who can lay out your situation and the next steps you should take.

It may be that until all your legals are in place it's best NOT to tell her, so that she doesn't forestall you with any sort of claim of her own.

But I would get your legals in place right now.

2kids2dogsnosense · 25/10/2016 13:32

Agree with Trifle

The money/property belongs to the OP and she is obviously a generous person. It is up to her what she does with it, but I think it's important that she finds out whether she has saddled herself with a legal obligation.

If she has, if it were me I would sell the property under my ungrateful relative and stop any future gifts.

Bogeyface · 25/10/2016 13:32

I think that the sister is likely to kick off big style, right up until she realises that she isnt going to be living rent free anywhere and that £500 a month is still a fucking steal.

But I suspect that it will sour relations because she is a freeloader who doesnt want to lose her easy life.

DudeWheresMyVulva · 25/10/2016 13:32

Incidentally, we do not have an outcome yet in our situation (Until Winchester mentioned it I forgot it might be even relevant).

tootiredtothink · 25/10/2016 13:33

I hope you're going to talk to her soon. As others have said, give her notice. A month to start paying or two months to move.

And definitely don't start any less than half market rent. I'd be more tempted to start at £500 and that gives you the chance to reduce to £350 if she says she can't afford it.

Be strong.... And let us know how you get on Grin

SoTheySentMeA · 25/10/2016 13:36

She's paying ALL the bills for the house? So surely that is her "rent". She certainly doesn't live there rent free.

What are you talking about? Bills are not rent. Rent is rent. Most people who live in a property they do not own pay both rent AND bills. So she most certainly has been living rent free ffs.

Asking for £100 a month is not unreasonable OP. She's had plenty of time living rent-free, you've done her a massive favour for 7 years and you're not asking her to suddenly find £700 a month.