To think this mn pregnancy sex advice is fucking outrageous?

[ICuntSeeYourPoint]

I was just reading the MN 9 weeks pregnant page to find out how the baby's doing this week, and found the following offensive horse shit advice:

"But you need to stay close to your partner because pregnancy is not necessarily a uniting experience: one of you is pregnant and the other is not. Pregnancy can be quite lonely - your body is changing in unfamiliar ways and you may no longer be the independent, sexy woman you used to be. Tell your partner how you feel (on a need-to-know basis), be affectionate and try to have sex if you feel even vaguely interested."

What the fuck?! If you're even vaguely interested, open your legs and let your husband have a go! You can lie back and think of England while your dh satisfies himself using your vagina as some kind of wanking vessel - if you don't mind awfully. Are you fucking serious?! Do you think this will strengthen my relationship? Having sex when I don't particularly feel like it as some kind of favour to my partner (as if he'd want that)! AIBU or is this fucking gross and really terrible advice?

From did your husband have to jolly himself into it when he was only vaguely interested?

I'm pretty shocked at "rung out" TBH. misses point

The content of the article is fairly appalling too though.

even my socks are laughing.

MN can we have a section about ribbons, so we can discuss the various methods of tying them in our hair before the man of the house comes home?

Does it matter who you are vaguely interested in?

Jesus Christ on a bike!

Does the relationship page advise the good little wife to make sure she's done her hair, put some lipstick on, made sure her clothes are clean and got the tea on the table ready for when her husband gets in? She could go the whole hog and warm his slippers by the fire!

I thought the shelf stacking comment was quite funny...

lol we've gone back in time.

At 9 weeks the vomiting was really kicking in and walking made me dry heave. Any unnecessary bouncing around would have been a very bad idea.

This is a really difficult post to write and I don't think anyone who hasn't been in an emotionally abusive relationship will understand. Apologies if I sound wet or weak. When I was pregnant, my husband used to approach me from behind and "help himself". He has been dead some years now and I am still coming out of the horror of my marriage. I always thought I was a fairly strong individual and would not have been cowed by anyone. Controlling behaviour is a slow moving thing (at least for me) and I couldn't see what was happening. By the end of his illness I was tooscared that he would alter his will and leave me, and our daughter homeless and penniless. If I have gone off the thread apologies (again!) but this is the first time I have opened up about it. Wanted to post cos I feel that there are people going through very similar experiences. If you are, take heart, I am beginning to be proper me again and you will, one day, come through it too.

My God, user. That's horrendous. You have been very brave and very strong for your DD. Wishing you love and peace as you move on.

User that's shit.

My ex had a word for it, thighing.

I won't bore you with his justification, it'll put you off your tea.

User, as a previous DV sufferer, I understand. I also want to say it isn't only the weak who suffer domestic abuse, otherwise strong women can sometimes think themselves stronger than the abuse and deny it to themselves. I'm a strong woman but a strong woman with a bad relationship in my past.

MNHQ, thanks for changing it so quickly and a sterling reaction with no attempt to excuse it.

Thank you ladies for your very kind messages and support. I am surprised by how cathartic it has been to write some of how I feel. Also surprised and how good it is to receive understanding and strength from someone I have never met. My eyes are opening!

But whenever someone posts a thread in Sex or Relationships about their struggle with low libido, this is exactly the advice Mumsnetters give them. "Have a go, you might start to like it" or "The more you do it, the more you want it!" or "Force yourself, it's ABUSIVE! to withhold sex."

I've tried the 'just give it a go' method with no libido and it's utterly awful and has made matters much, much worse. It's crap advice but still doled out by users, with the added finger-wag of 'don't be an emotional abuser now, ladies!'

Yes, it's dire, but plenty here are guilty of saying the same thing.