To think this mn pregnancy sex advice is fucking outrageous?

[ICuntSeeYourPoint]

I was just reading the MN 9 weeks pregnant page to find out how the baby's doing this week, and found the following offensive horse shit advice:

"But you need to stay close to your partner because pregnancy is not necessarily a uniting experience: one of you is pregnant and the other is not. Pregnancy can be quite lonely - your body is changing in unfamiliar ways and you may no longer be the independent, sexy woman you used to be. Tell your partner how you feel (on a need-to-know basis), be affectionate and try to have sex if you feel even vaguely interested."

What the fuck?! If you're even vaguely interested, open your legs and let your husband have a go! You can lie back and think of England while your dh satisfies himself using your vagina as some kind of wanking vessel - if you don't mind awfully. Are you fucking serious?! Do you think this will strengthen my relationship? Having sex when I don't particularly feel like it as some kind of favour to my partner (as if he'd want that)! AIBU or is this fucking gross and really terrible advice?

I don't think it's that offensive. It's just encouraging you not to neglect your relationship with your partner and maybe to think of them a bit.

The 1950s are calling and want their pregnancy sex advice back, MNHQ.

What Fanny said.

There will be women who find that page via google and will feel even more crap about 'neglecting' their partner and it becomes one more stick to beat themselves with.

There will be men who will read it and wonder why their wife isn't making the effort like the advice on MN said they should. Some of those men will use as a lever to coerce their partner or to make her thing she is in the wrong.

There are countless ways to stay close to your partner without having sex. I'm sure my DH would want me to be willing and happy rather than think I was forcing myself just to keep him happy.

Hilarious. I am nearly 9 weeks and also suffering from HG.

Firstly, I must remember when I am next vaguely interested to invite my DH to scramble on - with my peeling lips, cracked nose, 10 day old hair, stinky old tracksuit, dried sick around mouth, and steroid puffy face - I think he would be very grateful and excited.

That advice is so far off the mark. There is nothing I want less than to be close to ANYONE right now. I can smell shampoo or deodrant at 500 yards. I am hiding in the guest room, and if I venture out once a day it is to try to cuddle my toddler son.

My husband and I are giving each other a very wide berth because that is what I want. I am willing to take risk he isn't sitting in our room feeling alone and left out. Our marriage will survive without me needing to do even more than I already am to create a new family member.

Agree with fannywinchsm

I know what you're saying too lellikelli but at best it's very, very badly worded.

It sends out a stinking message.

It's just encouraging you not to neglect your relationship with your partner and maybe to think of them a bit.

Those selfish vomiting, exhausted women, forgetting about their partner's sexual appetite...

Another one here for the inevitable apology.

We expect better MN.

YANBU. Advice clearly written by a bloke.

In a world where the 'husband stitch' is an actual thing and women are by and large expected to resume having sex no later than their six week check (if they aren't already) and even self-styled parenting gurus who shall remain nameless on MN recommend that women should make themselves have sex post-childbirth, in that world sites like MN should be supporting the view that no one has to do anything in the bedroom that they don't want to do.

I remember reading that at 9 weeks and laughing to myself through tears brought on by vomiting because I'd tried to make myself eat something vaguely nutritional (rather than plain bread). Pregnancy. It's just the time to do something you don't feel like.

That's awful

Oh dear

Sadly some men think sex is everything and will dump you if they are not getting any even if you are really ill. My ex husband for one.

YANBU.
Also, anyone else ever found that if they really did feel like it, it bloody hurt! Which doesn't make for a good bonding experience at all.

Scrap that piece of daft generic advice FGS.

Mn should really take that down! Dp and I did not have sex for the entire pregnancy (and then it wasn't until a year after she was born!) Amazingly we still managed to stay close and bond over the new life we'd just created.

Yanbu.

Shamelessly posting to see mnhq response.

Bloody hell

Surprised it got printed in the first place

Wow. There are no words... Fix it please MNHQ.

Hi everyone

Thanks for posting about this - we do see your point. It's very old page and we're not quite sure how it hasn't been flagged thus far.

Rest assured our editorial team will be on it first thing tomorrow. Thanks very much for flagging

Has anyone reported the thread to be sure MNHQ actually read it?

Was it made on the night Peter Stringfellow broke in?

Or do we still not talk about that NYE?

Oh God...Tarla I knew I shouldn't have, but I googled 'husband stitch' although I should've known really as it doesn't take an awful lot of imagination to work it out. How horrifying.

You may also find that you are hornier than usual but your partner has gone off sex.

Why is it always assumed that the woman is the one who doesn't want to have sex?

How old is it though, MN? Didn't think they had the internet in the 1940's...