To think this mn pregnancy sex advice is fucking outrageous?

[ICuntSeeYourPoint]

I was just reading the MN 9 weeks pregnant page to find out how the baby's doing this week, and found the following offensive horse shit advice:

"But you need to stay close to your partner because pregnancy is not necessarily a uniting experience: one of you is pregnant and the other is not. Pregnancy can be quite lonely - your body is changing in unfamiliar ways and you may no longer be the independent, sexy woman you used to be. Tell your partner how you feel (on a need-to-know basis), be affectionate and try to have sex if you feel even vaguely interested."

What the fuck?! If you're even vaguely interested, open your legs and let your husband have a go! You can lie back and think of England while your dh satisfies himself using your vagina as some kind of wanking vessel - if you don't mind awfully. Are you fucking serious?! Do you think this will strengthen my relationship? Having sex when I don't particularly feel like it as some kind of favour to my partner (as if he'd want that)! AIBU or is this fucking gross and really terrible advice?

Hmm, yanbu but I'm wondering whether it's meant in a different way but badly worded.

More like "try to have sex, but only if you're vaguely interested".

Thanks for the pic Beyond

Also disgusted by the 'sex is one chore too far' WTF?

Sex as a chore? Trying to have sex?

And why the fuck is it implied that the fact that one of you is pregnant, the other is not is a problem that the woman has to make up for by trying to provide sex? Surely the non-pregnant partner should be the one trying to enhance closeness and make the pregnant partner feel loved and cared for? Clearly not, because this is 1950 and your husband wants to have sex on you so be a dear and go along with it.

Shamelessly place marking to find out what MNHQ's explanation is.

But why should anyone try to have sex, Lighthouse?

You might try to have sex because it's fun? (God forbid). (Sorry I can't figure out to reply to specific posters). It's not saying you have to, or you will see definitely feel like it, but (presumably to someone a bit more wet behind the ears) just letting them know that they don't have to curtail everything.

Possibly patronising at worst I'd say. In fact maybe more insulting for the husband as it sounds like he doesn't get a say here!

That's awful advice!

The reality is that a lot of women, for one reason or another, go off sex when they're pregnant. Or they want sex but circumstances don't allow it (I wanted it but HG meant I couldn't because vomiting on oneself is not sexy). But heaven forbid the male partner should have to go without getting his end away just because he's feeling neglected due to his partner being pregnant.

No one should be forcing anyone to have sex, including themselves.

why do women need to be told to have sex at all - or not - they have minds and brains and feelings and everything

Wow.

Not cool MNHQ. Not cool at all.

I've reported the thread as this 'advice' is utterly horrendous and lacking in any respect for woman's bodily autonomy. Really disappointed by this making it through the editorial process.

Thank you for flagging it up OP.

Sex is one chore too far?

Using your vagina as a wanking vessel. That had me laughing so hard

what a messed up advice.

Poor work MN

Lego I just don't think it's worth getting in a Tizzy over. People have a mind of their own and can choose not to follow advice from a website. I don't agree with it, I think they are trying to say try not to reject your partner, but they worded it all wrong. Of course noone should have sex unless they really want to, but I just don't think it is worth getting upset over.

Er, yeah, wtf?

Any other hints and tips on when I should be fucking my dh when I don't feel like it MNHQ?

I didn't see the bit about sex being a chore. Yes it's awful.

Thefreak no, no one should feel they must try to have sex. I was just trying to give it the benefit of the doubt.

Oh dear. Wonder what else is lurking in the weeks to come...

'Need to know basis' is total shit too.

I remember thinking I was miscarrying when pregnant, had bad stomach pains some spotting and the shits. DH wanted me to go into the extent of the shits and the vomit in detail so if the worst happened and I passed out, he could give details to doctors. Because he loves me and cared about me and the pregnancy.

If I'd been worrying about only telling him things on a 'need to know' basis I may not have told him about the pains or the shits at all. In fact I might have ended up going through that whole scary experience on my own.

If you are having a baby with someone they should be mature enough to deal with the physical changes. Just because the woman gets no choice in knowing doesn't mean the non-pregnant one should get to opt out.

They should rinse their mouths out with Zoflora

Jesus wept who wrote that?
Not good Mn and I've not been pg for 18years.

To be fair, there are a lot of women who agree with this "advice"

Perhaps we need a mner proofreading team to go through all of the advice pages and double check them?

Mummy

It matters because MN brands itself as a trustworthy, honest source of advice. It matters because it heavily implies that a man's sex drive is more important than his wife's. It matters because you only need to spend five minutes on the Relationships board to find women whose DHs believe that their sexual desires are more important than their wives' wishes. It matters because these are the attitudes that lead to coercion and even rape (which has only been illegal within a marriage since 1991).

That's why it's worth a 'tizzy'.

Oh yes

Because a women has such an easy time when pregnant that the poor menz start to feel neglected and need to be taken care off